Knowing where your child is

mummyroysof3

paidinchickens wrote: »

MIL can annoy you just by breathing IMO. Some people are lucky to have fab inlaws but I have never had such luck

i do try to remember that..:) shes not all bad just annoying when getting important info is like getting blood from a stone and feel like you not being listened to

i rang her and asked and it seems they are going to a country park but hasn't decided exactly which one..both kids have colds so not sure its a good idea to be out in cold all day so she said she will take them back to hers if they had enough...managed to get a rough pick up time but no coming home time.

pink_princess

Could it not be a surprise to you? Ie getting there picture taken for a christmas present?

zzzLazyDaisy

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

i rang her and asked and it seems they are going to a country park but hasn't decided exactly which one..both kids have colds so not sure its a good idea to be out in cold all day so she said she will take them back to hers if they had enough...managed to get a rough pick up time but no coming home time.

Speaking from a grandma's point of view - it is difficult to give exact times and whereabouts because often plans are loose. I remember taking mine to the whacky warehouse once - we had lunch there but after seeing there was icecream on the menu they were disappointed that there was none left, so we jumped in the car and went to an ice cream parlour in the town. Only to get a phone call from DIL half an hour later wondering where we were as she had decided to call into the WW and meet us, on her way home. Fortunately for us, we get in well, so she just laughed and waited for us.

There is a huge difference between being difficult and refusing to communicate, and wanting to enjoy the pleasure of spending time with the grandchildren without having to stick to a timetable or report in.

The question is... do you trust her with your children and do they enjoy spending time with her?

mummyroysof3

she has done a few things that ive had to have words with her about so there is some mistrust there..and it doesnt help when sil is always telling me what she done wrong with hers too(which hubby says not to listen too as she lies, but i know there is some truth to some of it)

mummyroysof3

oh and its not that i need an exact time but was wanting to know if she be home for tea so i can take that into account when planning what we having..she always rings me when she on way to let me know whan to expect so thats ok

stormbreaker

paidinchickens wrote: »

MIL can annoy you just by breathing IMO. Some people are lucky to have fab inlaws but I have never had such luck

Lol, I agree.

I expect she does not want to tell you so as you won't spoil the surprise for the child! and her pleasure at seeing their reaction. Mine used to really annoy me by not giving the kids Christmas presents for Christmas morning so that her and the SIL could see their reaction on opening the present! She announce when the oldest one was all of 3, that it would not be long til he didn't believe inSanta anyway:eek:
Thank goodness they are both now adults!

shirlgirl2004

I wouldn't let my child go with someone I didn't trust. If I trust them why do they need to give me their itinerary?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Why not say when agreeing, 'will they be home for tea or will you do that before they come home?' every time arrangements are made?

It works for the ex taking DD out anywhere. And if anyone was ever prone to taking offence at anything I said, it would be my ex. These days it's more of a 'You feeding her or me?' and the answer is 'Probably both of us' (Teenager going through fridge contents like a swarm of locusts)

flippin36

I don't know the full reason why she would be like this but my MIL became so controlling over my kids that we only do supervised visits once a week. She would do really inappropriate things with them and if we said anything she would just do them more...but in an exaggerated way (you can't tell me what to do kind of thing). There were a couple of really dangerous situations as a result so we just decided supervised visits only - which is such a shame as they miss out on that special time my parents get with them.

My own mum never questions my wishes, or contradicts my rules, and yes she would always give details of where they are going and what they are doing beforehand. Mums worry and need to know.

crazyguy

why not fix a tracking device to them,