I Have Messed Up My Life Bigtime

smashedbooboo

Hi there Messedup, I have just read your first thread. And there really is nothing i can say that has not already been said. Please do not feel as though you have let anyone down. And no matter what you have friends on this site that will guide you as how best to go on with your debts. You have faced up to a very difficult situation and things can only improve with time on the debt side of things. Your loss is a different issue. I do hope you are getting some sort of counselling. And as Tam says above. There would be no shame at all in going bankrupt in this situation. You could then move on with your life to some degree without the exta stress of all this. And i also agree with Tam. You need a virtual hug or a someone to talk to then just say so. In fact you dont need to say so. Just put a post on here and someone will be to talk to you. Also look around at the rest of the website. I promise you will amazed at how much help and advice there is. Good luck chick. And thanks to everyone else who has come together on this with support. will keep on checking in to see how you are. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Little_Miss_Winner

^^^^^^^

I second what smashed just said.

xx

savememorecashmartin

Hey honey,

I can't offer to much in the way of advice but I can give you this hug :grouphug: and say that you have done possibly the hardest part - admitted to yourself and your family that there is a problem. If they are as wonderful as you say then they will pull with you to sort this out and you will be able to lean on them when the days seem dark - that's what good family's do. As long as you keep communicating with them they will support you.

And so will the many amazing members of this website, some of whom will offer good advice, much of which is based on their own experiences. You are not alone in this, however much it might seem that way.

Although it may be hard, try not to blame yourself for what has happened, it won't help anyone, especially your partner and boys, if they see you beating yourself up over this. Let them help you and remember they love you as much as you love them.

Don't worry about upsetting us either - there's plenty of threads here that do that - and it's amazing how many of those threads start out like this and slowly the mood of the posts changes when the op realises that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We're all here for you too, whatever you've got to say.

Sending you love and hugs in this difficult time.
Keep posting, it's a kind of therapy.

Catseyez

messedup wrote:

Thankyou....

Has anyone experienced the online overdraft where nobody checks anything.

Yes, my overdraft has been increased without my knowledge several times before. Credit limit on credit cards has also been automatically increased but with a letter telling me to contact them if I don't want it.

The banks are truly shocking, I really do think they should come with a health warning. It's when we are at our lowest and most vulnerable that we are more likely to borrow.

I think a lot of people on here have taken on debt when they've been in an emotionally vulnerable position. It's an issue that I feel needs to be brought to the public attention as so many people are just suffering in silence. I also think all advertising for loans etc should be banned.

I can't imagine what you've gone through but please don't blame yourself for your financial situation. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

As a starting point, you could phone all of the companies that you have cards with and ask them to reduce the APR a little. This once worked for me, so it's worth a try.

Please keep posting on here as there are so many kind and knowledgable people that can help.

Catseyez x

SunderlandBlackCat

messedup wrote:

I am going to focus on paying it drip drip drip for now.... I am not a materialistic person and so therefore I dont overspend...

messedup wrote:

I am not too sure how I will get on...the interest will no doubt crucify me mentally...if it does then I will phone payplan.....Thankyou so much to all of you..

To minimisethe amount of interestyou will end up paying out enter the details of yourdebts into the snowball calculator.

http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

aussielovell

glad you have been able to come back. The bank may review your overdraft, friends account has just had overdraft called in (£1900) despite there being no problems. What they wanted though was an opportunity to call her in and sell her another loan. to clean the overdraft You dont want to get sucked into them explaining why taking credit is an option when you are at your most vulnerable.

Def a good idea getting another account. I still think you need proper independant advice on your situation. You may have a fingerprint over your credit file but you dont want to take on more debt do you? For that reason, and for your situation, i think you need to take the path of least resistance and give yourself a bit space. Get an IVA, see CCCS, CAB, anyone who can help you with the paperwork. You dont have to do it alone, chipping away.

You'll make it. Keep coming, keep posting, whatever you need, we are here for you. Big hugs.

smashedbooboo

Just popped in to say goodnight god bless. Tomorrow is another day. Start to look forward now. Its because of this website i can now sleep at night. I mean seriously sleep without sleeping pills or anti depressants. My doc cannot believe the change in me. I cant offer any advice about debts etc as i am only just going through mine. But a chat and support i am always there for. As we all are. Night night chicks. Will speak tomorrow. xxxxxxxxxxx

messedup_3

Having a really bad time tonight worrying worrying worrying non stop every second of every day.
I didnt realise I could go bankrupt if I had a net income of 1200 basic.
How reckless have I been, I am very low tonight, am I just having a bad moment, and is paying these debs back a reality by just slogging on. I would be ok if I had a 2nd income 400 pcm , but given that my job tires me out, I will not survive.
I have let my children down and the pain rips into my heart.

Does anyone else have bad momnets over debt....

messedup_3

is there anybody there. I am sorry to bother

scotsgirl_3

I'm here!
Everyone has bad moments with their debt when you suddenly realise how things are. It's comletely normal, and it's only understandable that you feel down