I Have Messed Up My Life Bigtime

CFC

messedup wrote:

Thankyou eeveryone you ae very kind.I am getting counselling for daughter. I have a supportive partner..I just need to sort my personal finances out on here as my partner pays for everything and at then end of the day my salarys is for food and debts etc. He knows about everything, and what a sad time I have had. I dont want to go banckrupt

Poor messed up, my heart goes out to you. Please stop torturing yourself. You are getting counselling, but your emotional problem seems to me to also spill out onto your debts, in the same way that your trauma has caused them.

Banks are not people, they are financial institutions. They are in business to make money out of you, and that's what they are trying to do. You say you don't want to go bankrupt, but have you discussed this with your partner? Have you discussed this with your counsellor? Are you using the debt repayment as another way to punish yourself? Try to remember that whenever you punish yourself, you also punish the people who love you. So really it's wrong to punish yourself, because they don't deserve punishment, do they?

If you did consider an IVA or going bankrupt, that would not make you a Bad Person. Not in the slightest. It would simply mean that the banks had taken a gamble on you paying all the money back, and lost their bet.

I know it's terribly terribly hard, but please try to disassociate your emotions from your finances. Money is money, it's just tokens we pass to each other, and the bank only lent you a lot because they thought they would get more out of you.

Your best plan would be to discuss matters with the CCS and see what they suggest, and try to make your mind up that you'll see if you can follow whatever advice they give you.

Triker

Hey MU, how's you today? I hope you have had a better day and are starting to let go of some of your stress.

Remember one tiny little step at a time, if you cannot move a step, just move one toe slightly in front of the other. It's all a move forward.


Tell us how you are doing, we'd like to know, XXX.

smashedbooboo

Hi MU, where are you hun. popped in to see how you are.Worried a tad as you have not been on today. Please let us know your ok babe. Hope everyone else is ok too. xxxxxxx

joeblack066

Bumped, I'd like to know you're ok too x

tesuhoha

By coincidence I noticed this evening the posts of a lady called margaretclare. I think she has lost a daughter too. Correct me if I'm wrong somebody please. Anyway, she seems to be a very nice wise sympathetic chatty lady and she posts on this site. I think it might be a good idea if you had an online chat with her to see how she copes because she does seem to cope and her posts are quite inspirational.

messedup_3

I am here... I have been lurking tonite.I didnt want to log on as I dont want to bother anyone . Feeling down. But I will have cleared 400 off my 40000 tonight as its payday.... I just want to get house move out the way tomorrow.I have no feeling to ordinary life. I think I am exhausted. I cant wait to move if only to get an action plan. Everything is such a mess.
It was a horrendous mistake I made..
Thanks to all of you , You are great support and its so nice to come on here,you all care so much...I love caring people..I love you all xx

messedup_3

Please forgive I am down and worn out, my job is very tiring too....
I thought of you all today .... and felt really comforted. x

SunderlandBlackCat

Hi MU

I sent you a pm last night, hope it was useful.

joeblack066

Hi MU, good to see you, take care hun, one step at a time. (((HUGS))) Debs

messedup_3

THANKYOU you do not know how much comfort you give....