I Have Messed Up My Life Bigtime

Maz

You poor darling. I can't give any practical advice but offer love and support. Keep strong woman, there ARE better times ahead.

messedup_3

thankyou...you are so extremely kind , it makes me feel really sad that people are so kind where what I have done is involved.

smashedbooboo

No but you can eat a doughnut in one go. Ha haha. You should see the size of my bum. But like my debts i am trying to reduce that also. lol. yeah i know. Ever so slightly crazy. I love it. xxxxxxxx

smashedbooboo

You daft bat. Dont feel sad for everyone wanting to support you. I believe the phrase. But for the grace of god go i. I have done things i have been ashamed of. As i am sure other on here have. We got ourselves into the situations we are in. But we have to move on and put our lives back together. We learn by our mistakes. And by god i have made a few. You are now facing yours. But stp beating yourself up. not productive. Doing is productive. Do a bit a day. And accept te help and support on here. It helps us all. xxxxxxxxxxxx

moonpixiewitch

I don't know what to say ! (and I am not often speechless!) . I wish I could help in some way ?You are so obviously still grieving for your daughter , and although the symptoms are presenting as depression , I think it is maybe all part of the natural process of grieving. It has taken me over 10 years to grieve for my Dad and I still don't think I am done yet!lease don't expect too much of yourself to soon , you have been through something that most of us can not even begin to imagine.
You mention that you are moving ....
Can I ask if you rent or own your home? Only wanna know as bankruptcy may be an option if you rent ? I had no choice but to go bankrupt 3 years ago , and although it has its drawbacks , and it was frightening to actually do , it was such a huge weight lifted . I had'nt realised how much sleep I had lost in the preceeding 2 years of being 32000 in debt . My health had started to pay the price high blood pressure at 37 , so dangerously high my doc though I was gonna have a stroke, all caused by the stress of worrying about debt. Please, if you are waiting around for statements etc to get the ball rolling sorting out a debt management plan , in the mean time SEE A DOCTOR - get your bp checked .
Wishing you and your family all the best
Jill

messedup_3

I was having a bad flash back just before I read the last post...and am starting to associate my debt with what happened 10 years ago...I think I never grieved properly, my head is completely scrambled from way back. My mum died when I was 15 and I didnt deal with that either.
I think i am still suffering from post trauma I wouldnt leave my 2 boys with anyone after my ex husband was found guilty... and for this reason I was off work for 10 years....I went back to work in June last year and I think somwhere its all gone pear shaped in my head BUT fact is I have no choice but to work now. I will find my strength somwhere. I darent go to the docs and tell them what I have done I am ashamed.

southernscouser

MU have you posted a list of your debts?

Be wary of consolidating. It may seem like a good idea having one monthly 'reduced' payment but 9 times out of 10 it works out more expensive. :think:

Have you had a chance to think of an action plan? Perhaps firstly working out what outgoings you can cut back on. And then making the cutbacks by either frugal shopping or switching suppliers?

messedup_3

20 000 of my debt is in loans that cost 340 a month that doesnt worry me as much as 20k in o/d cc etc...and its the interest that will bring me down... I have 1000 to pay debts a month but a lot of that is servicing and the loans. Maybe I should give it a time limit and say enough is enough or carry on....I will give it a shot...

messedup_3

This is the problem I only spend on food petrol car park appx300 a month. OH pays for everything.I cannot cut bak anymore on outgoings.
cc 5400 O/D 5400 O/D 3500 all at 18apr c/c 3500 16apr loans 20000 341pcm

southernscouser

messedup wrote:

I darent go to the docs and tell them what I have done I am ashamed.

MU, I don't want to sound all preachy and I'm by no means an expert but I think going to the quacks is taking a step in the right direction.

It's a known fact that debt links with other problems in peoples lives. Whether it be depression, being over weight, greedy, or in my case a numpty!

I watched a programme not so long ago about a woman who was addicted to spending. With the help of a shrink it was all related to her childhood. Apparently she lived with her folks and grandparents. They had plenty of money and never went without. I think her grandparents died or something. Any under hypnosis this all came out. The reason she spent all the time was that deep down and without her knowing that it reminded her of those good times!