lost respect for this friend-what now?

BitterAndTwisted

He's not normal and his response to your having "ended the friendship" was not normal either. As there were so many witnesses to what he did I expect HR will have heard all about the incident by now. Please speak to them right away. He's given you a golden opportunity to get this sorted once and for all.

ceegee

Goodness me, I have just waded through this thread! He's a right one, isn't he! Lots of women on the go, chasing after the students.

It comes across to me as if he has been having a bit of "sport" with you, which is really not nice. He seems to have thought that you were being a bit "playful" when you were trying to "get rid" of him.

He is so full of himself (God's gift to women and all that!)

You should have given him a slap across the face or a knee in the whatsits a long time ago. He obviously has no sense of propriety or decency or respect for people or anything, so you should stop !!!!!-footing around and deal with him in the only way he understands.

As long as he thinks he can get away with it, he will continue.

PS Perhaps I should have said "stop cat-footing around"!

pearl123

Well done for making a clear to him where he stands. From his response it's fairly obvious your co-worker can't completely control his temper/aggression.
As someone else advised keep all texts for now. Really, you should think of a formal complaint. Firstly, you have his harrasment and then he assaults you (yes throwing something is assault.) Plus you also have his appropiated references to 'monthlies'.
He sounds a quite nasty character. I would make a formal complaint as it is possible as he could turn the tables on you and make up a complaint about you!
OP you seem to want to keep it all polite, but remember your co-worker response was anything but.
Well done anyway in letting him clearly know where he stands.
If he asks for a further explansion from you- he does not need one! You've been clear enough.

Really a formal complaint should be lodged. Otherwise, if people allow him to continue to behave like this - it gives him a signal that it's ok to behave like this, which it is not!
It was an assault on youself - (a mild one) but it should not happen. Take it further and report it.

Also what would happen if a student ran into similar problems with him?

warehouse

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Throwing a cup of coffee over a colleague is totally unacceptable.

With the background to the incident, my advice (for what it is worth) is that you should go to HR and make them aware of the situation now. You have made your position clear, he responded in an aggressive and unpredictable manner, and is still texting you. If you do not now take formal steps, he will convince himself that you were having an 'off day' or that you do like him really but that someone else has 'got to you'. If things escalate, you will almost certainly be asked why you did not report this incident, especially since the problem has been ongoing since April.

Go and see HR. Seriously.

Perfect advice. Do it first thing tomorrow, please.

donnap83

Have you received anymore calls/texts since?

What a fruitloop! Hope you're ok. x

feelinghounded

An update..

I have just gotten off the 'phone with my union rep. It seems that "my friend" has already been to see him on the off-chance I should report the coffee incident! and has gone home declaring himself sick.

It would appear he has gone into bottom covering mode.

donnap83

feelinghounded wrote: »

An update..

I have just gotten off the 'phone with my union rep. It seems that "my friend" has already been to see him on the off-chance I should report the coffee incident! and has gone home declaring himself sick.

It would appear he has gone into bottom covering mode.

What excuse did he give for giving you the inprotu coffee shower?!

feelinghounded

He said it was a personal disagreement and therefore not a matter that management should be involved in, but he feared I may try to make it so.

BitterAndTwisted

A personal disagreement which happened at your place of employment does not mean that it's nothing to do with your employers. He's already had his card marked (I hope) after the last barney with a co-worker. Please take this to HR right away. Speak to them on the phone this afternoon rather than leaving it till tomorrow. You have no idea what kind of damage-limitation he might attempt in the meantime.

donnap83

feelinghounded wrote: »

He said it was a personal disagreement and therefore not a matter that management should be involved in, but he feared I may try to make it so.

Did you already speak to the union rep before this happened?

Did you tell them exactly what happened this morning?

What a !!!!!!!