Which way around should it be?

mildred1978

Make-it-3 wrote: »

There has obviously been issues in the past re religion, as you have mentioned their opposition to your choosing a non-church wedding. .

My niece will be baptised Catholic next month, but she gets ignored too (obviously not the right branch of Christianity for them).

CH27

I really struggle with the fact that you are willingly depriving your son of such joy at xmas.

mildred1978

My SIL thinks they've just run out of affection and can't be bothered with any more babies. My MIL is their oldest child, my DH is her oldest child and DS is our oldest child. But the babies born to teenagers in other branches of their family get taken notice of. How very Christian of them.

aliasojo

CH27 wrote: »

I really struggle with the fact that you are willingly depriving your son of such joy at xmas.

That's personal choice though CH27, we all have our own beliefs in life and need to live and raise our children accordingly.

You don't need to struggle with it or make sense of it, just accept it's someone living a different way to the way you would choose, and forget about it.

custardy

mildred1978 wrote: »

Had a discussion with a friend earlier, and inteigued to know what a wider audience think.

My husband's grandparents never bothered to get our son a card when he was born. We had a meal for his 1st birthday which they came to but didn't bring a present or a card. DH and I are atheists and so don't really celebrate Christmas. We make a fuss over birthdays instead.

DH's grandparents are religious and will probably send a card (at least) for Christmas.


Now, herein lies the debate. Should the grandparent's bow to our way of doing things, or should we bow down to the grandparents? Our usual response to Christmas cards is to chuck them straight in the recycling. Their usual treatment of birthdays seems to be to ignore them. Should the giver or the receiver's wishes take priority?

atheists seems such a strong term.
personally I dont believe in god but dont think i deserve a label for that?
From my view we still do Christmas as its a great day for the kids,same for birthdays.
I could care less for mine(except the reminder of how bloody old Im getting) but its a great day for the kids
From my view I would hope you could make the effort for some form of Christmas for your kids
Wuldnt bother me either way with regards to what the Grandparents do

**Patty**

mildred1978 wrote: »

My SIL thinks they've just run out of affection and can't be bothered with any more babies. My MIL is their oldest child, my DH is her oldest child and DS is our oldest child. But the babies born to teenagers in other branches of their family get taken notice of. How very Christian of them.

To be fair......you are expecting them to treat you/your family differently as you don't wish you take part in what you perceive as their christian festival.

You can't really then pick faults in their interpretation of christianity.

Does smack of the old hypocritical a bit

milliebear00001

mildred1978 wrote: »

?????

my son is only 14 months old and not anywhere close to going to school!

But will very quickly become a pre-schooler, then be actually going to school. These are issues that will arise sooner than you think.

Do you send them a Christmas card?

Marisco

custardy wrote: »

atheists seems such a strong term.
personally I dont beleive in god but dont think i deserve a label for that?
From my view we still do Christmas as its a great day for the kids,same for birthdays.
I could care less for mine(except the reminder of how blooy old Im getting) but its a great day for the kids
From my view I would hope you could make the effort for some form of Christmas for your kids
Wuldnt bother me either way with regards to what the Grandparents do

Must agree there, I let mine slide by these days as well I don't really make a fuss on Christmas now either, for years it's only been good for a few days off work!! Kids grown, all live in different parts of the country. But I do think effort should be made for small children, Xmas has gone way beyond a religious festival these days, and I know mine loved dressing the tree, and the anticipation of Father Christmas visiting. Believe me, when they have gone, you'll look back and a bit of you will wish they were still little, with all the magic that brings.

mildred1978

milliebear00001 wrote: »

But will very quickly become a pre-schooler, then be actually going to school. These are issues that will arise sooner than you think.

Do you send them a Christmas card?

I don't send anyone Christmas cards.

mildred1978

As for going to school, he might be home schooled yet.