Which way around should it be?

euronorris

I saw a post from the OP, somewhere in the thread, referring to other relatives who were teenagers when they became parents themselves. So, I wonder if they lavish them with attention because they feel they need it, whereas they see the OP and her family as self sufficient and therefore they do not need so much attention.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

mildred1978 wrote: »

You make it sound like showing my child the wonders of the world rather than the contents of the Argos catalogue is some form of abuse. :rotfl:

Yes, very clever retort. Did it take you long to find that one online?

Is he only going to have handkitted toy cars and macrame chemistry kits for his birthdays? If not, I think you'll find the monster that is Argos will be featuring in his life at some point over the next 16 years at least.



Actually, I am saying that, as an Atheist myself, training your child to be the one who upsets all the other children in his class and has to be kept away from the little ones as he gets older, the one that is excluded from all the special events around December and Easter, the one that sits outside on his own because nobody wants to talk to him about Christmas because he says it's rubbish, the one who sees everyone else with special gifts and can't take part because Mummy doesn't like it and is known by the other parents (and a lot of the staff) as the one with the rabid mother who doesn't want him to be a little boy, that he has to be the one sitting out looking angry/miserable/lost again -


Yeah, that's a form of abuse.



There is absolutely no harm to a child to let them have some fantasy in their lives. My 12 year old did, and she is as Atheistic as they come now. But she has friends. She took part in everything. She was a shepherd with a teatowel on her head, she was a farmer in another year - last time, they did Aladdin (which is an Islamic story) and she was the screeching parrot. Even the children from very strong/other religions/belief systems took part in all the Christmas activities - including making Christmas cards.

I really couldn't care whether you are in Dubai, Thailand or Japan for the Christmas period. I daresay your child doesn't really care either.

But to want to forbid other people from paying attention to such times of year that affect so much of the world - including the part of it that he lives in - is too much.

Another ten years and he'll think it's all nonsense as well. But nonsense in a good way. DD has requested the terribly religious things of a mattress topper for her bed, a few games and any other bits and pieces I think are a good idea for Christmas. She'll get stuff on her birthday and something over the Easter period (inextricably linked to school reports coming out the week before )




Although he could end up hating birthdays because something happens on one of them that he doesn't like. Then he might have no special day in his life at all for the rest of his life.


But that's alright, because life is tough, miserable and ended by death, I suppose.


ETA: I've just noticed the Home schooled comment. Never mind. Solves all the problems by eliminating anyone who might be different from his life.

esmerelda98

Christmas can still be an exciting and special time without whipping up a Father Christmas fantasy. I think celebrating the nativity story, school plays and celebrations, decorating the house and a tree, Christmas baking, special meals and other treats, presents, carols and church celebrations are enough to make Christmas a special time for children. Father Christmas will always be in the background as part of the way we celebrate Christmas but I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with answering children's questions about Father Christmas in such a way that reveals that Father Christmas is tradition rather than reality. In any case, if you teach your children to believe in God (because you do), Father Christmas is unnecessary.

balletshoes

OP how are you going to broach with your child the various things that other children may/may not believe in/celebrate as he grows up? In another year or so he will be vocal and will no doubt be socialising, in some context at least, with other children his own age. When they are talking about Santa/the nativity/angel/star on top of the Christmas tree, even giving out Christmas cards, what will you tell him/how will you encourage him to react?

I hope you won't, as others have suggested you might, throw cards he's received in the bin/encourage him to tell his peers its all lies. There are ways of dealing with these things that won't alienate and isolate him from his peer group. Tolerance goes a long way.

vroombroom

bah humbug is all I can say!!

:xmastree::rudolf::xmassmile:snow_grin:santa2:

Torry_Quine

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

well without christianity theyd have family, the tree, the feast, the presents, the other decorations - which for the majority is christmas, so they would have the holiday.

do you aknowledge how 'christmas' is largely a pagan festival overtaken by the romans in an effort to more easily convert the pagan population? before they slaughtered them that is.

If you want to celebrate a pagan festival no-one least of all me is stopping you. The problem is when people celebrate at Christmas but take out the Christian aspect. Have your celebration on a different day, not Christmas.

margaretclare wrote: »

It means that you are not celebrating the story of the birth of Christ, the shepherds' visit, the star, the wise men etc. 'Christmas' as a religious festival hasn't got much to do with 'Santa'.

There's been a lot said about 'elderly people', what they can and can't do. OK, I suppose I come into that category now. When I was a child what we had was 'Father Christmas'. Gradually the American idea of 'Santa' has supervened, probably as a result of Hollywood, Bing Crosby, Judy Garland, white Christmas etc.

DH and I are practising Christians but we don't celebrate much of the modern idea of Christmas, the must-have, the advertising for weeks and weeks ahead so that by the time it arrives we are totally sick to death of it, being told what we must do/buy/eat. We do celebrate it but in a very simple way. A couple of years ago we were in Coventry Cathedral for the Christmas Eve service and that was wonderful.

Actually Santa claus is a derivation of St Nicholas so is much more in keeping with Christianity than Father Christmas.

That is the best way to celebrate, Coventry Cathedral for the watchnight service would be lovely.

Lotus-eater

My kids believe in Saint Nicholas and Father Christmas, which they are happy with, as they get 2 Christmases (sort of) and their friends only get one. But it is getting a little hard to keep up

choccybikkie_2

Do you send them a christmas card and gift? As christmas is what they celebrate? I'm guessing not (based on your views of it). If that is the case, you are contradicting yourself as you say YOU make more of a fuss about birthdays so they should bow down to what YOU see as a celebratory event? If you expect them to celebrate your sons birthday when they don't really 'do' birthdays then you should send them christmas wishes as that is what they celebrate!

gingin_2

I am the 4th and last grandchild and the only girl, always close to my grandparents. We are all married. Every birthday and christmas the boys get cheques. From the year I got married, I never did (married 11 years now so missed out on a lot of cheques!). I've never asked them why, never got annoyed, never felt upset. It's obviously something they decided to do, at a guess, maybe because they feel now I have a husband to "keep" me (lol). They are 2 generations away from me and I accept that their ideas about certain things will be different.

I can't see how you can avoid christmas abroad. We've visited a Father Christmas grotto slap bang in the middle of a shopping mall in a Muslim country.

sarahk100574

I'm just glad that Mildred was not MY mum...... lol!! :j