Partner hit me...

Luis

Stay safe. Get Out. Now.

Lotus-eater

DUTR wrote: »

Why are you over reacting? Why do you not have any words of wisdom for the OP in this thread? https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3551237

She did leave her partner(s) and admits it's not all rosy afterwards

Better than being battered and being told how to act in public though? That's a strange argument you have there.

DUTR

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Better than being battered and being told how to act in public though? That's a strange argument you have there.

I'm not arguing though, I'm just not joining the bullying posse on here telling the OP to leave her partner 'otherwise she will burn in hell'
Who is going to invite her round at xmas when she leaves?

Lotus-eater

DUTR wrote: »

I'm not arguing though, I'm just not joining the bullying posse on here telling the OP to leave her partner 'otherwise she will burn in hell'
Who is going to invite her round at xmas when she leaves?

Her Mum, anyone but her OH would be a good start.

Pretty sure you were arguing that.

Lotus-eater

Marker wrote: »

Actually that is a load of old tosh ...

... there are many men who have been violent towards partners for a period of time and then never done it again.

Are there? Where are these blokes?

DUTR

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Her Mum, anyone but her OH would be a good start.

Pretty sure you were arguing that.

The point is, why are none you you that advocate she just gets up and leave him, inviting her around?

this is what the OP had written "I know the answer to this really, but need to talk to someone, so am posting on here:o:o
Basically my partner has now hit/slapped me about 4 times in just over a year:(:(
Each time is when we have been out for a drink, and he hates me drinking and as he puts it "showing off" which basically means when I talk to anyone and have a laugh:(
Last week he slapped me really hard in the face, when we came in, and I was going upstairs with my handbag, and he snatched it off me and stamped on it breaking my mobile phone, and a lot of make up:(
He apologised and bought me a new phone the day after, but I know this doesn't make it right:(
I'm worried that he could do me some serious harm, as he is a massive bloke, but usually a gentle giant:(
We have talked and he has said he needs help with his anger, but i'm not sure what to do.I love him to bits and 99.9% of the time he is fine but .....:("

So perhaps I have read it wrong, she is in a mind to leave but they have talked and the OP is seeking any experinces from anyone having been in a similar situation and followed the 'help' route before the obvious leave route.

Marker_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Are there? Where are these blokes?

My dad for example, although I dont like him very much and havent done for years, but he has managed to keep his hands to himself for 15 years now.

Lotus-eater

Marker wrote: »

My dad for example, although I dont like him very much and havent done for years, but he has managed to keep his hands to himself for 15 years now.

I think the amount of participants in that trial was a little small. I was hoping for a bit more evidence tbh.

Marker_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think the amount of participants in that trial was a little small. I was hoping for a bit more evidence tbh.

Difficult to back up a topic rarely reported wouldnt you say.

But maybe we could add them to our cage and report back in 15 years?

purple.sarah

Marker wrote: »

Actually that is a load of old tosh ...

... there are many men who have been violent towards partners for a period of time and then never done it again. It is something the individual has to work out for themselves, with or without the support of their OH like the OP.

Spotlight back on OP. I really do not feel you should let this carry on as it is, you need outside help, but your OH needs to want to get help. Much like an alcholic or gambler. You can either choose to go which you are well within your right to do so, or you can stay with him and try and help him sort his problem out, as it is his problem and not yours.

Whichever decision you choose to make is not right or wrong. The only wrong decision would be to stay with him without outside help and letting things continue and escalate.

All the best, not a nice predicament to be in, hope it works out for you whichever route you take.

There's no need to be so rude. You might know a few anecdotes about abusive men who've seen the error of their ways but as women's aid (who've had a bit more experience) say:
"It’s possible for abusive people to change their behaviour. However, it’s very difficult to change and so isn’t very common. If your partner has promised to change before and then has resumed his abusive behaviour it’s likely that this pattern will continue to repeat itself. Unfortunately what usually happens in an abusive relationship is that the abuse increases both in frequency and severity...
If your partner is still in any way blaming you for the abuse, then it’s clear that he hasn’t accepted full responsibility for what has happened, and while he’s still saying this, his behaviour is unlikely to change."
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1298#5