Partner hit me...

DUTR

pearl123 wrote: »

Anyone who has ever been in a domestic abuse relationship knows - voilence escaltes. It moves on from a punch or slap if you stay. Men who can't cope with their own insecurities/ problems / control issues/ agression - should not hit women.
I'm disgusted by what I've read at time on this thread. A woman has been punched on 4 seperate occasions. And it appear some people think it's not "black and white" and that it can be justified.
Yeh.....right.....heard that years ago from my abusive ex.

But it's Ok to stab your husband to death because you cannot agree on which TV channel to watch?

3v3

pearl123 wrote: »

....
I'm disgusted by what I've read at times on this thread. A woman has been punched on 4 seperate occasions. ....

Then your eyes deceive you - where does it say she was punched on 4 seperate occasions?

And that is another reason these threads get out of control - terminology is altered to serve the bias of the poster.

DUTR

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

No your first post in this thread as you well know.
This is no laughy jokey matter. you are one sick individual.

Who said it was a laughy jokey matter? The OP mentioned already about her partner admitting he has some issues, I suppose Joanna Yeates is BF is responsible for her death as he left her on her own for the weekend?
No I am not sick, you are too blinkered with your views, but you are entitled to your views and I am notgoing to get into a bun fight with you.

Carl31

pearl123 wrote: »

Anyone who has ever been in a domestic abuse relationship knows - voilence escaltes. It moves on from a punch or slap if you stay. Men who can't cope with their own insecurities/ problems / control issues/ agression - should not hit women because they had to!
I'm disgusted by what I've read at times on this thread. A woman has been punched on 4 seperate occasions. And it appear some people think it's not "black and white" and that it can be ''justified.'
Yeh.....right.....heard that years ago from my abusive ex.

that is probably true, but surely its also fair to say that people who are violent, given the opportunity, can tackle their issues?

4 times in a year is too many times, but its not like its everyday, but the OP doesn't say anything about addressing the problems that may be leading to it, it sounds like her OH needs counselling and some self reflection

Violence is usually the end product of not knowing how to deal with a situation, if theyre given that knowledge or another means to express themselves, then they dont need to resort to hitting

neverdespairgirl

DUTR wrote: »

Yes indeed, neverdespairgirl informs that she is employed in the judicial system, I suppose their stats will show that there is not one male victim, somehow that is ok to be a victim if you are male?

I'm self-employed. I'm a barrister.

I've prosecuted 3 cases where the victim has been a man.

pearl123

Well my partner was so voilent overall (even people he met) that he eventally he was given some sort of counselling. His counselling made no difference. The voilence just kept on getting more brutal.
This will be an upsetting thread for those who have been threw it.
Walk away OP - before your broken.

JBD

Carl31 wrote: »

that is probably true, but surely its also fair to say that people who are violent, given the opportunity, can tackle their issues?

4 times in a year is too many times, but its not like its everyday, but the OP doesn't say anything about addressing the problems that may be leading to it, it sounds like her OH needs counselling and some self reflection

Violence is usually the end product of not knowing how to deal with a situation, if theyre given that knowledge or another means to express themselves, then they dont need to resort to hitting

Agree, the violent partner does need to address his issues , for the sake of safety this should probably be done alone.
It would also be helpful to consider how he handles other situations where he feels anger. Can he control his temper with other people? Would he lash out at a friend, a workmate, another family member or a fellow road user eg?. Violence is violence, it should be unacceptable in all situations, with all people no matter what the relationship is [barring self defence of course].

pearl123

hazeyjewel wrote: »

Basically my partner has now hit/slapped me about 4 times in just over a year:(:(
Each time is when we have been out for a drink,:(:(

3v3 - I might have been here!!!! The 'each time' gave it away!

3v3

pearl123 wrote: »

Well my partner was so voilent overall (even people he met) that he eventally he was given some sort of counselling. His counselling made no difference. The voilence just kept on getting more brutal.
This will be an upsetting thread for those who have been threw it.
Walk away OP - before your broken.

pearl123, I can appreciate that you speak from personal experience and understand that the issue can be an upsetting one for those who have been through it and are still suffering the effects from it. If it is upsetting you, perhaps it might be best not to read it?

System

It's absolutely NOT ok if the victim is a man, I have spent some time 'adjusting the balance' on several sites where info for abused women has been posted, by mentioning advice groups for male victims of DV. Both can be found by googling.
The following is quite interesting
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jun/07/feminism-domestic-violence-men