Partner hit me...

DUTR

pearl123 wrote: »

3x3 - when I said it was stupidly dangerous for a women to stay it was because of what the voilence could potencialy do. I.e kill her, or scar her mentally and physicall for life.
We are not talking about the domestic abuse perpertrated against men in this instance by their partners. It is in this instance a man against a woman.

Men justify this voilence by saying.. she made me do it. And in the end the women end up thinking that she was indeed responsible. And so a pattern emerges of 'lubby-dubby oh so in love'..... to 'you made me do it' voilence. Also voilence does not always just involve fists! It can get a hell of a lot worse.
Voilence against ones partner is not acceptable at all.

So I suppose this story in the news just within the last 7 days is fabricated http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-15248367 but it's ok in this case and she should not be convicted.

System

Ok , has anyone other than DUTR read previous threads from the OP? I did last night ( being new to the site I only just realised you could do that, and also means I really don't know anyone here and have no axe to grind I think it's worth doing, they suggest to me that there 'might' be a different slant to this story.

3v3

Purbeck wrote: »

Ok , has anyone other than DUTR read previous threads from the OP? I did last night ( being new to the site I only just realised you could do that, and also means I really don't know anyone here and have no axe to grind I think it's worth doing, they suggest to me that there 'might' be a different slant to this story.

Yes, I did

DUTR

Purbeck wrote: »

Ok , has anyone other than DUTR read previous threads from the OP? I did last night ( being new to the site I only just realised you could do that, and also means I really don't know anyone here and have no axe to grind I think it's worth doing, they suggest to me that there 'might' be a different slant to this story.

Be careful though, I'm probably the most hated member on the forum, I think the idea is one follows the general concensous like a lost sheep and dare you 'think outside the box' as the rules seems to be their way or the highway

3v3

pearl123 wrote: »

3x3 - when I said it was stupidly dangerous for a women to stay it was because of what the voilence could potencialy do. I.e kill her, or scar her mentally and physicall for life.
We are not talking about the domestic abuse perpertrated against men in this instance by their partners. It is in this instance a man against a woman...

I was well aware what you meant, however, you worded it as a generalisation and not this specific instance - which is why I picked up on it.

That's the problem with threads on the subject of DV, too often generalisations are made. As an earlier poster stated: things are not always black and white.

pearl123

Perhaps I did not express myself clearly enough. Domestic voilence is a emotive subject to me. I am a women who has been in a victum of a voilent abusive relationship. The women who posted is also in a abusive relationship. I am of course well aware that men are abused by their partners.
As I was trying to speak directly to the OP and warn her not to continue. I tried to speak in a language that she could relate to. Why should I broaden the subject to men being abused by women - it's not an university essay. This tread is about a woman who is being abused !
If it was a man being abused we would also tell him to get away. (most of us would anyway.)

Dontknowanymore

hazeyjewel wrote: »

I know the answer to this really, but need to talk to someone, so am posting on here:o:o
Basically my partner has now hit/slapped me about 4 times in just over a year:(:(
Each time is when we have been out for a drink, and he hates me drinking and as he puts it "showing off" which basically means when I talk to anyone and have a laugh:(
Last week he slapped me really hard in the face, when we came in, and I was going upstairs with my handbag, and he snatched it off me and stamped on it breaking my mobile phone, and a lot of make up:(
He apologised and bought me a new phone the day after, but I know this doesn't make it right:(
I'm worried that he could do me some serious harm, as he is a massive bloke, but usually a gentle giant:(
We have talked and he has said he needs help with his anger, but i'm not sure what to do.I love him to bits and 99.9% of the time he is fine but .....:(:(

There is only one answer.
Get out while you still can...

Dontknowanymore

DUTR wrote: »

Well sort that 1st, perhaps he is insecure, partners always seem to look nicer when they are going out with their friends and not their partner. I'd say give him a final chance, better to be murdered by the one you love than a stranger

You are absolutely VILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

OP do not listen to this crap! please! :mad:

Carl31

Personally, i don't believe theres such a thing as a bad person, we all do things wrong from time to time and make mistakes

If you have been with him a while, then there must be reasons. Aside from these occasions, i would expect that on the whole hes a good bloke hence why you're with him. Maybe a little guidance is what he needs, 4 times in a year is 3 times too many, but its not daily, hence its just lashing out under certain circumstances

I would make he get counselling and talk about it, im sure he hates himself after every time hes done it. Us bigger guys generally have alot more man juice floating around, unfortunately that can make tempers a bit harder to control, but it doesn't mean it cant be managed, he needs to learn to think and put into perspective why hes getting angry, once he realises what hes getting angry about doesnt actually matter in the grand scheme of things, it will stop.

If it doesn't, then leave. It sounds like he suffers with a bit of insecurity and jealousy, doesnt like you having fun in case you find someone else or something

DUTR

pearl123 wrote: »

Perhaps I did not express myself clearly enough. Domestic voilence is a emotive subject to me. I am a women who has been in a victum of a voilent abusive relationship. The women who posted is also in a abusive relationship. I am of course well aware that men are abused by their partners.
As I was trying to speak directly to the OP and warn her not to continue. I tried to speak in a language that she could relate to. Why should I broaden the subject to men being abused by women - it's not an university essay. This tread is about a woman who is being abused !
If it was a man being abused we would also tell him to get away. (most of us would anyway.)

Sadly most would not, the thread would lay dormant on the forum, with lots of views and no or few replies The victim in the news article posted, was stabbed by his wife just because they could not come to an agreement on which TV channel to watch, he did leave and when he arrived he met his fate, it is reported that it was not the 1st time he was subject to abuse by his wife. But in true flavour of the forum, it is ok because it was a male that was the victim this time.