Partner hit me...

hazeyjewel

I know the answer to this really, but need to talk to someone, so am posting on here:o:o
Basically my partner has now hit/slapped me about 4 times in just over a year:(:(
Each time is when we have been out for a drink, and he hates me drinking and as he puts it "showing off" which basically means when I talk to anyone and have a laugh:(
Last week he slapped me really hard in the face, when we came in, and I was going upstairs with my handbag, and he snatched it off me and stamped on it breaking my mobile phone, and a lot of make up:(
He apologised and bought me a new phone the day after, but I know this doesn't make it right:(
I'm worried that he could do me some serious harm, as he is a massive bloke, but usually a gentle giant:(
We have talked and he has said he needs help with his anger, but i'm not sure what to do.I love him to bits and 99.9% of the time he is fine but .....:(:(

tanith

I'd of been out the door after the first slap.. or showing him the door whichever is appropriate..

Fishingtime

I would have thought the title for this thread should be MY EX partner hit me.
It will only get worse

bobajob_1966

Having seen someone murdered as a result of domestic violence, I can confirm that it only takes 0.1% to be a very dangerous person.

pinkduvetdiva

My take on it is this: on the best days he should treat you like a queen. On the very worst days he should treat you like a princess. Good luck for the future. xx

DUTR

hazeyjewel wrote: »

I know the answer to this really, but need to talk to someone, so am posting on here:o:o
Basically my partner has now hit/slapped me about 4 times in just over a year:(:(
Each time is when we have been out for a drink, and he hates me drinking and as he puts it "showing off" which basically means when I talk to anyone and have a laugh:(
Last week he slapped me really hard in the face, when we came in, and I was going upstairs with my handbag, and he snatched it off me and stamped on it breaking my mobile phone, and a lot of make up:(
He apologised and bought me a new phone the day after, but I know this doesn't make it right:(
I'm worried that he could do me some serious harm, as he is a massive bloke, but usually a gentle giant:(
We have talked and he has said he needs help with his anger, but i'm not sure what to do.I love him to bits and 99.9% of the time he is fine but .....:(:(

Well sort that 1st, perhaps he is insecure, partners always seem to look nicer when they are going out with their friends and not their partner. I'd say give him a final chance, better to be murdered by the one you love than a stranger

oldtractor

Is it only when you drink? and is he intoxicated too? maybe both stop drinking alcohol. Anger management course for your partner might help.

claire16c

Oh my goodness.

I dont think you need to be told he will continue doing this - because hes already done it 4 times. And you are posting on here. You even say you know what the answer is. Drink is not an excuse of any shape or form.

I think you know what you need to do.

If he wants to get help with his anger, thats fine, but he doesnt need you to do it.

If he really wants to be with you, he will be prepared to walk away now, and not come back until hes sorted himself out by an anger management course, counselling etc. IF you still want him back after that.

Love is not enough. Just because you love him doesnt mean hes a good person for you or treats you welll. Plenty of abused women 'love' their abusive partners. The fact he doesnt like you talking to others, is already the sign of a controlling relationship, the fact he has hit you (more than once too) just shows what heights is he prepared to take that to.

You need to walk away.

Reluctant_spender

Assault is assault and is never acceptable - I have seen the trauma that domestic abuse causes and have heard all the excuses.

You have two choices - leave him or he moves out and gets help, you then reassess your relationship whilst apart.

Words are one thing but actions are far more impactive.

EchoLocation

I just wrote a somewhat diplomatic 'objective' reply, then I deleted it, because you seriously need to look at your future.

If there's one thing that breaks my heart more than seeing women with abusive partners, it's hearing those women make excuse's for them to remain in a relationship.

If he's willing to really get help for his anger issues then maybe you can continue with him, at the slightest 'relapse' I would say get the hell out and find someone who will treat you with the love and respect a partner should.

Don't fool yourself, and don't be another statistic.

Lotus-eater

You say massive bloke, has he been on steroids? Does he go to a gym?