Just received this - please help

Caroline_a

DH hope you're ok, you've been quiet for a little while. Thinking about you and hoping things are progressing the way you want them to x

Moufflon5

I have just read this whole thread and wanted to say 1. I hope the OP is OK. It would be great to hear an update and 2. well done again to all the MSE'ers for all their excellent advice!

Doorstep_horror

Evening all, thank you for all your support.

Well I've passed my theory test yay. I've been really unwell recently tummy bugs, bad colds.

What a time I've been having, the house he was buying he's not now something wrong with it, but he's found another. I just can't seem to get away from him, he's been here almost every day for the past two weeks.

I'm having a really rough time at the moment, really doubting my abilities on how I'm going to cope I think it's just hit me. I now realise I need friends, my mums been great but it's just not the same. I really feel sorry for my kids I don't know how I'm going to cope. I've become a bit snappy with them recently.

I'm still waiting on women's aid to get back to me. He's still not giving me anything but he has paid all the bills this month.

I really need somebody to take me under their wing and tell me its going to be ok, I feel that I've just lost everything, I've no get up and go I'm finding it hard to put meals together, cleaning etc. but my kids are being fed.

gratefulforhelp_2

You are going to be much more than ok. You have a great new life waiting for you. Every time you do a mundane thing for the kids, say to yourself "this is real love" and only you are able to do that for them. They will remember it and appreciate it.

Real love is that kind of selfless act. Visit your GP if you're struggling, but think of things that make you feel even a little bit better and try to do them a bit more.

Lots of love and good wishes. xxx

BitterAndTwisted

I'm not surprised that you're feeling like that. A bout of ill-health and delayed shock will completely knock the stuffing out of you.

Why is this complete git coming round every day? What does he want?

Emmzi

It's going to be completly ok, because you are stronger than you know.

Kids are fine on chicken nuggets for a week and no one will die from a month's dust.

He'll be finding excuses to come back as he misses what he threw away. Well, tough luck. You are better than that!

I promise. It will get better. For now, look after you and the kids, and talk to the solicitor until things are sorted. Believe nothing he says. Not one word. Do what is right for you.

You CAN do this, you ARE doing this.

So. Where are you taking the kids that's nice this weekend? Walk in the autumn leaves followed by hot chocolate? Hunting for conkers?

Caroline_a

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Evening all, thank you for all your support.

Well I've passed my theory test yay. I've been really unwell recently tummy bugs, bad colds.

What a time I've been having, the house he was buying he's not now something wrong with it, but he's found another. I just can't seem to get away from him, he's been here almost every day for the past two weeks.

I'm having a really rough time at the moment, really doubting my abilities on how I'm going to cope I think it's just hit me. I now realise I need friends, my mums been great but it's just not the same. I really feel sorry for my kids I don't know how I'm going to cope. I've become a bit snappy with them recently.

I'm still waiting on women's aid to get back to me. He's still not giving me anything but he has paid all the bills this month.

I really need somebody to take me under their wing and tell me its going to be ok, I feel that I've just lost everything, I've no get up and go I'm finding it hard to put meals together, cleaning etc. but my kids are being fed.

Hello DH. I've highlighted the important bit in your post. Read it. Then shut your eyes. Feel the support coming from all the MSE's. Come here whenever you need to, there's always someone about to help and lend a shoulder or have a giggle with. Look at how much support you've had so far.... we're all with you, some of us have been through what you've been through, and we've survived. We're no different to you.... you can do this, and when you start posting about how great it is to be independent, and how the OH is sooo down on his luck (karma!!) then you will know you've come out the other side. We'll be with you as long as you want us to, every step of the journey!! xxxx

Doorstep_horror

Thank you all. I am so grateful to you all

he's coming round to see the children.

Forgot to say he said today that our marriage didn't finish because he had an affair, she's got nothing to do with our break up, it was over a while ago - news to me.

blue_monkey_2

He is still trying to excuse her then. He is a pillock, I am glad you have seen him for what he is. He is coming round every day to see the kids, yeah right, more like his bit on the side has dumped him because he'll be free to do as he wants - and that is not what she wants.

When he is with the kids go busy yourself in another room and let him get on with it and then you come and take them to bed. If he insists on staying then go to your bedroom.

Have you seen a solicitor or been to the CSA yet?

What area of the country do you live (S/SW/SE, etc..)? if someone is local then maybe they could OM you and maybe meet up to have a coffee and set the world to rights.

Caroline_a

Nice of him to let you know. He's just trying to get to you... I bet his life probably isn't half as rosy as he thought it might be!

I would say that if Women's Aid haven't got back to you, ring them back. They might have got your number wrong, or the message didn't get through.

What has your solicitor said so far about the house and his 'other mortgage'?