Just received this - please help

loopsntroops

clearingout wrote: »

LOL! that made me laugh soooo much!

Second that!! :rotfl:

loopsntroops

Don't be disheartened...do check out Womans Aid though and make a list of all the things you need to arrange in order of priority and what can be done here and now. Womans aid may advise you on things that you had never even thought of, these too can be added to your list. A list that you can tick things off will help you feel more in control and on top of the situation. I did this when I split from my partner and it was a massive help...

Chin up and just remember you have a wee online army behind you!!!

loopsntroops

Just a quickie..I was looking at Legal Help and it covers:

• family law such as financial support after marriage or disputes about children. You could also get advice about undefended divorce or dissolution of a civil partnership
• the buying and selling of your home, but only if this is needed to carry out a court order or if it's the result of a divorce, legal separation or dissolved civil partnership

It also states that the financial conditions to qualify are as below:




If your gross monthly income is £2,657 or less, your solicitor or adviser will then check out what is your disposable income. ‘Disposable income’ is the amount of income you have left after deductions have been made for national insurance, child support and tax. Also, if you have a partner who isn't earning or if you have children, a certain amount of your income won't be taken into account. If your partner is earning, their income will be taken into account, unless your partner is the person who you are in dispute with.

To qualify for Legal Help, your disposable monthly income can’t be more than £733. If you are within this limit, you don’t have to pay anything towards Legal Help.

I don't know if this applies to you as I obviously dont know what your finances are. The other thing that would qualify you would be Job Seekers allowance - have you considered signing on so that you could get this?

Womans aid should be able to get you free legal advice (or recommend a good source for free legal advice)....they may even have a list of recommended solicitors that deal with cases like yours.

Sorry if I am repeating anything already discussed...its a long thread and I'm not the brightest spark in the box sometimes!!

Caroline_a

How's it going DH?

deb68_2

Hi dh
you no where i am if you want to chat
we are all here for you an your little ones
keep smiling buddy even when you dont want to pck your head up an smile,believe me it will drive him nuts, not knowing why you arnt in a mess crumbleing without him
,dont let the knob grind you down
thinking of you all
deb

Doorstep_horror

Thank you all for your messages of support, just been plodding along, not sure if things have really sunk in yet! (I know sounds a bit daft).

Been having a ring around going to do csa by a private agreement, I'm going to give him a chance to prove me wrong.

Good news on the mortgage front they've said he can't raise it on this property so he's got to take out a new one on other property.

Sorted out changing gas and Elec, got mobile lowered.

I am feeling a little bit positive, but it just feels like he's away Im just waiting to come crashing down.

Kids had a wobble tonight, ds's now not sure who he wants to live with. I've tried to explain that if he stays with me nothing will change, but if he goes to daddy things will be different ie schools, clubs etc. Also I tried to explain that with daddy being away so much we decided it would be better if they stayed with me. He seems ok now and is happy to be here with me (hope I handled it ok).

I've let their teachers know what's going on, and ive got someone keeping an eye on them at lunch times.

blue_monkey_2

Thanks for the update DH. You are doing really well on the face of things and great news about the mortgage I have to say.

Your DS will have the odd wobble, but to be honest, he is too young to be making those sorts of decisions so do not put those sorts of things onto him. He should not have to choose anyway. your ex works away from home a lot so he cannot have the children anyway so bear this in mind - if he asks again tell your DS that he will not be having to choose and he will be living with you as daddy works away from home so cannot care for him.

Get a residence order so your kids are in YOUR residence, there is another thread at the moment where a dad has just picked up the kids and not taken then home. Be careful.

I am glad that everything else seems positive otherwise. It has not even been a week, of course you are still in shock.

Doorstep_horror

Blue_monkey, thanks for that, I really didn't think I handled it well at all, I dont want them to feel that they have to stay with me. But you are right they are to young to make their own decisions. I'm just trying to do what's right by them, I think that's the hardest part in all of this.

sassyblue

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Blue_monkey, thanks for that, I really didn't think I handled it well at all, I dont want them to feel that they have to stay with me. But you are right they are to young to make their own decisions. I'm just trying to do what's right by them, I think that's the hardest part in all of this.

Glad you're thinking like this. TBH doorstep l know it's a horrible thing to say but l bet your hubby wouldn't even want the children whilst he's with his bit of fluff, sorry. You are clearly the better parent anyway.

Doorstep_horror

Sassyblue thank you, I find I'm having the odd doubt about whether I'll do right by them.