Just received this - please help

Caroline_a

Come back DH, let us know how you got on!!

Doorstep_horror

Hi all, many thanks for all you support and best wishes.

I've had an emotional couple of days, had a look at woman's aid website and all I can find are numbers for domestic abuse nothing for emotional.

Been to solicitors today and unfortunately as I haven't yet got proof of any benefits I am receiving she can't act for me, all she could do is give me general advice. Feel like it's been a complete waste of time and am really down in the dumps tonight.

She said to stay in the property, and for me to ring mortgage advisor and find out what's going on.

Forgot to say it does not matter how they met or what she does as it will be treated as any other divorce.

Caroline_a

Keep strong DH!! we're all right behind you! I agree with calling the mortgage people tomorrow - you need to ensure he isn't taking equity from the house that you and the kids are living in so that he can have a love nest!!

Try not to dwell on the emotional abuse, keep busy. I would make a list of things you need to do tomorrow, begin by talking to mortage ppl, then speak to the benefit people and explain what the solicitor said to you re the benefits and see if they can help. Then I would sort out all paperwork, maybe in your own box file, so that you can lay your hands on marriage certificate, kids birth certificates, etc etc etc immediately.

I personally would also change the locks. If you have Yale locks I think you can just take the barrels out. Your husband has left home now... you do not want him walking in and out as he wishes. He needs to respect your space and let you know if he needs to collect anything from the house.

sammy_wheeler

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I've had an emotional couple of days, had a look at woman's aid website and all I can find are numbers for domestic abuse nothing for emotional.

.
.

Domestic abuse used to be called domestic violence- but this didnt allow for emotional, finacial abuse
it is now called domestic abuse- which does mean violence, financial abuse, and emotional abuse
so womens aid is the correct place you need to be looking

Doorstep_horror

I have upvc doors, but I have taken the keys off him.

All documents are in a drawer so I know exactly where they are.

Ringing round is defiantly on for tomorrow.

Doorstep_horror

sammy_wheeler wrote: »

Domestic abuse used to be called domestic violence- but this didnt allow for emotional, finacial abuse
it is now called domestic abuse- which does mean violence, financial abuse, and emotional abuse
so womens aid is the correct place you need to be looking

I'm really scared obout ringing them as I don't want to waste their time as there are people in more need then me.

Mupette

DH, this has been said a few times...

Domestic Abuse is not just about violence... its covers a whole spectrum of abuse... including emotional abuse..

sammy_wheeler

doorstop- please do ring them- you are in need- otherwise you wouldnt be here-just give them a ring and see what they say

whitewing

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I'm really scared obout ringing them as I don't want to waste their time as there are people in more need then me.

You have to do your absolute best by your children so you need to have some real, practical support while you do this. Ring them.

Caroline_a

Ok DH. Things are pretty tough now.... but just look at how many of us are supporting you. Go through these posts that people have made in support of you just in a very few days... Most of us have been through similar situations in one form or another, and we want to help because perhaps we didn't have the right sort of help or advice at the time.

So next time he tries ANY sort of emotional abuse.... just imagine the rest of us standing behind you (arms folded, tutting) and know that you are NOT alone!
xx