Just received this - please help

The_Rizler

Would just like to add my support; acting isn't my strong point so if you manage to get through the next few days to give yourself time and to gather evidence - power to you.
I'm sorry your husband isn't good enough for you and doesn't value u as he should.

Take care and I hope you get the information you need to see the solicitor.

Good luck and be strong, your kids are really going to need you.

Luv Riz

whitewing

I didn't mean that it wouldn't hurt and you shouldn't be upset and I agree about getting it done through a solicitor.

Saint_Chris

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Only one photo was taken in a bedroom, other at a club and the one ive just received was taken by my husband, i know that because he's in front of a mirror.

I'm sorry but something just doesn't add up here.
Who's taking the photos and why would your husband be taking photos?

Maybe your husband has been to a party and it's got a bit out of hand and someone wants to cause trouble for him.

if i was you, i would e-mail the other party (man) and tell him that he is confusing you more with the information he is sending you in dribs and drabs, tell him you would appreciate it if he could send you all the photos and information in one e-mail, otherwise not to bother, as you have children to look after, and can't sit at a computer waiting for these e-mails to come through.

don't let this man (no matter how nice he may seem) think that you are sitting waiting and worrying, some people no matter how nice they are get pleasure from this.

You may not think what i'm saying is right, but it's just a possibility.

Again only you knows how your life is, and what direction you want it to in.

I'm sat here now with my 2nd husband been happily married for 14 years, and i say i would go through all i did with my 1st husband, as long as i know the end result will be what it is today.

At the moment it seems like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and your going to have a restless nights sleep, but tomorrow is another day.

Taadaa

I certainly would never get pleasure from letting someone sit and worry.

But it does seem odd that he is sending the info in dribs and drabs - he either has the evidence, or he doesn't. I think the bottom line is don't trust anyone but yourself and your own instinct, and take the time to form a proper assessment before taking action.

Doorstep_horror

Saint_chris the photos were taken on my husbands mobile and sent to her, her husband installed a key stroke logger on her computer.

The photo in a club is a fetish club. The one in the mirror is of him in female underwear and the other is in bed taken by him.

How embaressed sp? Do I now feel.

Lotus-eater

You don't have to be embarrassed, it's him that's done all those things, whilst keeping you in the dark. So I think we can safely say that it's true then......?

This other guy could be trying to save your feelings, or he could be out to cause you pain, you just don't know. I would like to hope it's not the pain.

I hope you feel better in the morning.

NickyBat

Just a though you need to make sure your hubby doesn't see these emails before you want him to.

blue_monkey_2

I can't imagine you slept very well.

I have to admit you have more patience than me, I'd have sent him the photo and a text saying I KNOW and then he will know that he has to come home and face you. He might not even bother coming back.

If what this bloke says is true about them buying a house - does he have the means to buy a house? Or is your husband intending to think he can get 'his half' because I am pretty sure he will not be able to force you out of the house. Whatever you do, do not go.

As an afterside thought, do you think his behaviour to make you seperate (you said you could not go on like it) has been deliberate so he could say 'you are the one who said we should split, you are going to have to leave'. Be careful. I definately think you need to be seeing a solicitor ASAP.

You say you cannot face him, could you get the kids away to your mums for the weekend - or maybe even on a hotel break somewhere (anywhere so you are not home) and then on Monday call the school and say one child has been sick while away so you have had to stay and extra couple of nights as you could not travel home? Then you can come home when he has left again and it'll give you more time to sort it out.

Good luck.

busiscoming2

OP I sense this may actually be a sort of relief for you, now you don't have to worry about whether he is behaving himself and being true to you. You can now take steps to get him out of your life and for yours to move on.

Make an appointment today to see a solicitor or at the very least the CAB. You need to know where you stand regarding the house. You need a stable home for your little ones.

You will manage on your own and although it doesn't feel like it now you will be happy again.

I would definitely echo what previous posters have said about the important documents, take copies of some but I would move the passports now.

blue_monkey_2

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

To be truthful I think it does matter, at least to me. Because prior to this I thought it was all nicey nice, we were going to do a online divorce but now I feel like I've been lied to once to often and I need to do this via a solicitor.

He has been very snide - I am glad the other bloke has told you now I read this. Of course he wanted to do an online divorce, because if no solicitors are involved you would have happily given up half the house and done what, rented somewhere with the children and he would of gone away to buy his cosy little love nest with the other half.

Because you have children together then you will be entitled to stay in the house and he will have to pay for it. A solicitor will sort this out and because you do not work you will get legal aid so do not worry about a thing.

Honey, it's time for you to start screwing him - he has done this to you for long enough so it's payback time. And you'll not have to worry about any legal costs. Good luck. How you will keep this quiet I have no idea but you need to get tough.

I know this is tough to think about right now but in 6 months time you'll be able to thank the guy who told you and sent you those pics because he has done you a massive favour - although not nice to face now he has stopped your husband from screwing you over in regards to the house and no doubt maintenaince for the kids if he was prepared to take the house from under you.