Just received this - please help

Doorstep_horror

Thanks again for you kind words and support.

I have received more emails and a link to the site where they met, it's really weird seeing your husbands bits being fondled by another woman, I've also found her web page, but as they say each to their own.

piglet74

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Thanks again for you kind words and support.

I have received more emails and a link to the site where they met, it's really weird seeing your husbands bits being fondled by another woman, I've also found her web page, but as they say each to their own.

you are so strong, so calm, cool and collected,:A
i could never handle somethign liek this how you are doing!!
i would prob.b int he clink by now for GBH!!

All the very best of luck today with throwing him out, you deserve so much better!

hugs galore to you xx

Seanymph

Contact Womensaid;

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

You have a tricky path just admitting to yourself he has been emotionally abusive to you, and he controls and influences your decisions. The ladies on the phone are friends you haven't yet spoken to, and will walk that path with you.

You NEED to do that. I put that in capitals for a reason.

You need to do that because he has manipulated you for a long time, cleverly and charmingly and with thought from his end. He will try to continue to do so and the decisions you are now making will have long term effects for your children's future (and yours of course). You need to be clear headed and uninfluenced by his machinations. The only way to do that is to put in the very painful work of seeing him for what he is, and breaking free of the tentacles.

Womensaid will help you, support you, and offer you financial advice and let you know of your options. They are awesome.

You need feel no shame, no one will judge - but they will be on your team from the second they answer the phone, and they will ensure that you have enough strength behind you to oppose him.

Do NOT let him remortgage the house you are in.

In 'what may happen' have a look at this - he and the kinky g/f buy their house free and clear with money raised against the roof over you and the children's head. He defaults on the mortgage - does his home get repossessed? No, course it doesn't - you and the kids end up homeless, he keeps his home - and the bank gets the mortgage repaid. Meanwhile you get? Nothing.

If he and her want to play happy families let their house be mortgaged.

You still risk him defaulting on the mortgage, but if there is sufficient equity to remortgage then it's worth fighting for on that footing.

There are many people on the boards who have walked this. Believe in the support you have - trust nothing he says - and get good advice and quickly - do not agree to anything. If he wants to do something one way ask yourself why and look for the catch.

Caroline_a

Didn't want to read and run, just saying thinking of you, lots of hugs coming from me over t'internet xx

Doorstep_horror

Seanymph - I have had a look at that website and I really don't think it's me their describing, he has never stopped me doing anything, and not said anything cruel except when we last split up.

**Patty**

OR.....you could do what i did . Walk away.

I rented somewhere for me & my children privately, consulted my solicitor about it all & she agreed that it was my best option to fight for a share after i was out of the property. I got my share......he got the house (which he subsequently defaulted on).......

But the most important thing i walked away with was my safety.:D

I would add *and my sanity* but there are some that would question that:o

But please......DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT CONSULTING A SOLICITOR!

Doorstep_horror

I'm really not that bothered about this house, yes I love living here, but at the moment I would rather he wasn't here with us, so if it means him moving out temporary until I find somewhere for us so be it. I can't afford it anyway.

Forgot to say they are away together next Wed, Thurs and Friday.

piglet74

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I'm really not that bothered about this house, yes I love living here, but at the moment I would rather he wasn't here with us, so if it means him moving out temporary until I find somewhere for us so be it. I can't afford it anyway.

Forgot to say they are away together next Wed, Thurs and Friday.

have you thought about how you will get him to leave, will you pack up his stuff and leave it outside for him, or will you tell him all you know,

i hope ur ongoing strenght carries you thru to the end :A

Mupette

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Seanymph - I have had a look at that website and I really don't think it's me their describing, he has never stopped me doing anything, and not said anything cruel except when we last split up.

think about that again...

he has told you he would kick you out and take the children from you..
like it or not this is domestic abuse,of the mental cruilty type.

newcook

I would c0ck up his plans while getting everything together! ‘Darling, I’ve asked my mom to look after the kids for a few days so I can come away to the hotel with you’ – then count how many times he says ‘erm, erm’