Just received this - please help

Doorstep_horror

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Doesn't sound what I'd call "definite proof".
I mean, who was taking the photo of them in bed? If you take photos like that yourself with a timer, you generally don't do it of you gazing into each others eyes...

To know, you are going to have to ask him and show him the photo. See his reaction.

I really don't want to confront him I just want this over and him out of my life.

make_me_wise

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Thank you all for you kind words and advice.

I have my own bank account, we've never had joint accounts.

I know things will get nasty because they did last time (not my doing).

I am waiting for op to send some stuff via email

In what way did things get nasty? Did you choose to take him back last time or was it more of a case of him forcing you to? Telling you that you couldn't do better than him, undermining and mocking you maybe. If I am off the mark I apologise but from what you have mentioned on here your husband is not beyond being manipulative is he.

jungle_jane

this is just horrendous OP. So sorry you are going through this - and having to hold it together for the sake of your children.

Do you know the name of the woman in question? can you look her up on Facebook? Do you know anything about the circumstances of the other guy and their relationship...ie is he divorcing her?

He said that they are planning to buy a place together - where would your OH get that kind of money from?

There is something not quite right in this whole tale - something not adding up. I think that what is needling me is that this is an affair that has gone on for 3 months or so...the woman's OH knows and they are splitting up...your OH never mentioned it though. Surely when a couple leave their marriages and make a new start they both would tell their partners at the same time? For damage control, like?

Its made even worse that you are not able to confide in anyone and don't have anyone watching your back or offering support. I really feel for you OP - its a terrible position to be in...

Lotus-eater

whitewing wrote: »

Lotus-eater, not definite proof! I can't imagine my DH telling me of any innocent reason as to how he came to be apparently naked in bed with someone else.

There are things called image manipulation software, someone who's good at it can make you believe anything.

Stephb1986_2

Sorry to hear your going through this OP. What seems strange is how did this guy find out your address??

I hope your ok

Steph xx

Doorstep_horror

make_me_wise wrote: »

In what way did things get nasty? Did you choose to take him back last time or was it more of a case of him forcing you to? Telling you that you couldn't do better than him, undermining and mocking you maybe. If I am off the mark I apologise but from what you have mentioned on here your husband is not beyond being manipulative is he.

I kind of took him back under my own steam, he was very apologetic, and charming.

He just didn't behave they way he should of nothing violent, just threats to kick me out of house, threatening to take LO's away from me, just a lot of emotional blackmail. ( that's what I mean about nasty).

Doorstep_horror

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Sorry to hear your going through this OP. What seems strange is how did this guy find out your address??

I hope your ok

Steph xx

It was on the hotel receipt.

Doorstep_horror

Lotus-eater wrote: »

There are things called image manipulation software, someone who's good at it can make you believe anything.

I believe at least one of the photos, still not to sure about other one.

whitewing

Lotus-eater wrote: »

There are things called image manipulation software, someone who's good at it can make you believe anything.

Ah yes, I get you now. Actually that is a very good point. You can't quite be sure of the motives of the wronged husband, even if he seems to be attempting to be on your side. What he thinks you should do or how you should react are his own opinion anyway and you don't have to react at all if you don't want to.

make_me_wise

Sorry to say this OP but it sounds to me like you have been suffering emotional abuse, not emotional blackmail. He has an affair and then threatens to throw you out of your house and take your children away from you. Your husband sounds like a nasty piece of work, more than capable of walking over anyone who gets in the way of what he wants for himself. Id take time to think about what it is that you and your children want and need. You mentioned earlier that you dont have anyone else to turn to or speak with about this, hence coming on here. Are you isolated from your friends and family? Another very common factor when in an abusive relationship.