huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

poppyolivia

As bestman he SHOULD have stayed til last thing..you should have just gone to the hotel alone? Still trying to work out why you needed hm with you?..I can't see what he's done wrong

ok re read it...lol...got it wrong, you should have just said I'm off enjoy your night and gave him a snog!;) Happy days! lol

pelirocco

poppyolivia wrote: »

As bestman he SHOULD have stayed til last thing..you should have just gone to the hotel alone? Still trying to work out why you needed hm with you?..I can't see what he's done wrong

She didnt say she did

poppyolivia

pelirocco wrote: »

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She didnt say she did

yeah I re read it!..I'm a div!;) x

jamespir

BugglyB wrote: »

I disagree.

I think if you are a best man or bridesmaid your loyalty lies towards your friend who has given you that honour and trusted you to help them on what will be the biggest day of their life.

My OH was a best man and I accepted that for those 8 hours or so I would take a back seat and allow him to be with his mate and smile and talk to people I didn't know even though my feet hurt and I was bored. He is my first priority and I wanted him to be happy and carefree on a day they had looked forward to for over two years.

OP, I dont know your husband so I have no way of knowing what kind of man he is or how he behaved, he may of handled it badly and you may be justified in being upset, let me just say that if my husband 'didn't allow me' to take a taxi somewhere there'd be no arguments I'd just get a taxi anyway and leave him to it.

As regards making up its up to you - sounds like theres wrong on both sides - but like my mum always says, choose your battles!

it would have not have hurt for ten minutes for him to have made sure his wife was ok ... he could have got a taxi and made she got into it safely

RonniesMummy

athina wrote: »

me and my husband went to a wedding yesterday where he was best man. it started off at 6pm with very nice with food, alcohol and dancing apart from the music which was so loud you couldnt have a conversation with the person next to you.

around 11pm i had a headache and went to put some tiisue in my ears which helped a bit. i have long hair so could hide it.

around 1am i told my husband i would like to leave and he said no, we are staying until the end as he is the best man.

i asked the grooms brother if his wife and one year old daughter wanted to share a taxi back to the hotel as she had been looking fed up since around 10pm and he said no, they are a family and are staying until the end (i thought this was a bit selfish especially with a one year old but each to their own).

so i told my husband i will get a taxi back on my own. he said no, i will suck it up and stay to the end. i got really annoyed and went to sit outside. 30 minutes later he comes to tell me to stop being such baby and go back in. i refused as i had a huge headache from the insanely loud music. he went back in and called a taxi and we both went back.

at the hotel he called me selfish and said i ruined his best friends wedding. i thought this was very unfair as i had no problem in going back alone to the hotel. and to top it off, the hotel phone rang at 7.30am and woke us both up.

id just like some opinions on if i should apologise as he is still really annoyed because i am completely blind here as to what i did wrong

Hey I didnt want to read and run,
Unfortunatly men work differently to women, if youd have just sneaked off back to the hotel he may not have noticed. Maybe he thought you were making a fuss?
I dont know, if i was you id have done the exact same thing but I am a woman !!!
xx

DVardysShadow

My sympathies over the loud music. For me it turns a potentially pleasant social occasion into a dreadful ordeal. There is many a do I have left for just thta reason.

Person_one

Power trip.

You should have asked one of the venue staff to call a taxi for you, said your farewells and your congratulations to the bride and groom and left. Then had serious words with your husband the next day when he sobered up.

Wanting you to stay somewhere where you are suffering and miserable when you leaving doesn't mean he has to leave, is unbelievably selfish.

pinkshoes

I went to a wedding in France where my (ex) OH was best man, and despite feeling utterly exhausted and having a rotten headache, I stayed until it ended at 5am!

I suppose I could have got a taxi back to the hotel, but I felt it would have been very selfish of me to ruin the evening or make my OH feel bad for having to choose between his best mate and me, so I just got on with it, found some paracetamol, and put on a fake smile all night. It was ONLY one night, and not my night to spoil.

I think you were selfish being so needy on someone's special day. Yes, you felt cr*p, but how hard could it have been to find some pain killers, some ear plugs, and just faked a smile for a few hours?

I completely see why your OH is now p*ssed off with you, because on a night that was nothing to do with you, you made him choose between his best mate and his OH, which was really unfair. I think it's you that owes him an apology.

notakid

pinkshoes wrote: »

I went to a wedding in France where my (ex) OH was best man, and despite feeling utterly exhausted and having a rotten headache, I stayed until it ended at 5am!

I suppose I could have got a taxi back to the hotel, but I felt it would have been very selfish of me to ruin the evening or make my OH feel bad for having to choose between his best mate and me, so I just got on with it, found some paracetamol, and put on a fake smile all night. It was ONLY one night, and not my night to spoil.

I think you were selfish being so needy on someone's special day. Yes, you felt cr*p, but how hard could it have been to find some pain killers, some ear plugs, and just faked a smile for a few hours?

I completely see why your OH is now p*ssed off with you, because on a night that was nothing to do with you, you made him choose between his best mate and his OH, which was really unfair. I think it's you that owes him an apology.

I agree wholeheartedly with this post.

We all have to sometimes grin and bear it.

It was his friends special day and he wanted to be part of it and as he loves you he wanted you to be there too, is that so hard to fathom?

Gingham_R

It sounds like something over nothing.

You needed to go home - fair enough.

He needed to stay - fair enough.

I don't understand why he didn't just phone a taxi for you and I don't understand why you didn't ask someone else for help with the taxi - like one of the bar staff.

And I don't really understand how this can develop into an argument.

Why didn't you ask him to stay on his own when you realised he was going to come home with you? As the best man, it's obviously going to be upsetting for him if he feels he was dragged away from the party.