huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

lisawood78

Sounds like a normal tiff with a drunk man to me, I too would have said i'm going back to the hotel as I feel unwell, see you later.
Hope you feel better

POPPYOSCAR

I can understand him being annoyed if you had insisted he leave as well, but as you were willing to leave on your own, I feel he was being unreasonable.

I would not leave it. I would have to have a discussion with him about it.These things have a way of building up and surfacing at a later date in arguments etc.- better to clear the air now.

flutterby_lil

problemcashback wrote: »

sorry seems a bit of a prat, wedding or no wedding you put your wife before everything else

Hope he has made it up to you today

Obviously not if she is on here at his time instead of making the most of a night away in a hotel, I know what I would be doing

athina_2

Caroline73 wrote: »

If I felt unwell I would just tell my husband I was going, I would neither expect him to stay or come with come with me. The same would happen the other way.

I have to say that the tissues in your ears and sitting outside smacks of attention seeking, as does looking for an ally in the grooms sister in law. You should have just told your husband you were unwell so were heading back to the hotel and you would see him later. I don't understand that he wouldn't let you go. You don't need his permission!

He also had an important role to fulfil as best man. He wasn't just a guest at a party. My husband was best man when I was 8 months pregnant and an usher when baby was 6 weeks old. Ideally I would have preferred him to be with me but I respect his loyalty to his friends.

the tissue in the ear which noone could see and going outside was because the music was LOUD. i could hear it clearly 10m away outside!

i agree with the last part, hence why i told him he should stay and i will go alone.. i needed his help calling a taxi as we are abroad and i dont speak the language.

we are both in a grump at the moment and not speaking!

Lotus-eater

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Unusually I completely agree with jamespir. You are an adult, not someone to be told what to do.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

He's the one being unreasonable - are you not capable of getting a taxi alone? And yes, for I think the first time ever I agree with James.

I think the first time I agree with anything James has said as well. It's worrying

I wouldn't have gone back to the hotel with my OH, but I would have stuck her in the taxi then gone back to enjoying myself.

Why would you want a moaning woman with a headache about at a party anyway?

angelil

I think his tone of voice that he used with you was not right and that he should apologise for that.

BUT presumably you knew from the outset how long it would last, how important this event was to him etc? If it were something like that that was that important to my husband then I would either go/suck it up/stay for as long as he wanted to stay, or not go at all. Not go then kick up a fuss when the evening couldn't proceed on my terms Sometimes my husband wishes to socialise with his friends in environments I don't enjoy. I am invited, but he is not bothered if I don't wish to come. If I choose to go even though I know I may not enjoy it, that's the choice I've made/the risk I've taken and not something to dump on him.

Saying that, though, if I were feeling genuinely unwell and I did want to leave, I would tell him I was going and see him later. He, I am sure, would be concerned for me/want to make sure I was OK, but would be happy with the arrangement. Frankly the way both of you acted is not something that's familiar to me within the context of my relationship.

January20

Do you come from a culture where whatever men say goes? I'm asking because you told your husband you "would like to leave", not than you were unwell and wanted/ were going to leave - on your own back to the hotel, and you asked the groom's brother if his wife wanted to leave. Why not ask her directly?

Your whole approach was wrong. If you wanted to leave, you should have told him, got a taxi and left quietly, with no fuss and alone. He could have stayed behind until the end.

But essentially he was a childish, selfish git, because he was having a good time and didn't care about you or your feelings at that point in
time.

ETA: is there a money issue, regarding getting multiple taxis?

BugglyB

problemcashback wrote: »

sorry seems a bit of a prat, wedding or no wedding you put your wife before everything else

Hope he has made it up to you today

I disagree.

I think if you are a best man or bridesmaid your loyalty lies towards your friend who has given you that honour and trusted you to help them on what will be the biggest day of their life.

My OH was a best man and I accepted that for those 8 hours or so I would take a back seat and allow him to be with his mate and smile and talk to people I didn't know even though my feet hurt and I was bored. He is my first priority and I wanted him to be happy and carefree on a day they had looked forward to for over two years.

OP, I dont know your husband so I have no way of knowing what kind of man he is or how he behaved, he may of handled it badly and you may be justified in being upset, let me just say that if my husband 'didn't allow me' to take a taxi somewhere there'd be no arguments I'd just get a taxi anyway and leave him to it.

As regards making up its up to you - sounds like theres wrong on both sides - but like my mum always says, choose your battles!

Kira000

My DH was co-best man at a wedding 2 weeks ago. He and the other Best man left on Friday night, to stay the night with the groom, the other best mans wife drove she and I, and her little one to the wedding on the saturday, and drove us both home at about 10.30pm Saturday night, whilst the 2 best men stayed over in a hotel and came home next morning. No problem there for anyone! If you had insisted he came with you, he would have been justified in being cross, as he had duties to perform, but you didnt, so really, i dont see what his problem is!

However, i suspect alcohol and the "stress" of best man responsibilities (or maybe being peeved that you werent there to see him perform them?) is to blame in his irrationality, so maybe say sorry that he was upset you left, but that you felt very unwell, and had tried to stick it out, and decided in the end it was better not to spoil the day by staying when you weren't feeling up to it.

BugglyB

Sorry just seen the part about language and needing help to order a cab. Would there not have been anyone else who could have helped you at the venue? The grooms brother for example?

As an aside I find it staggering that you call the grooms brother and family selfish for wanting to stay at his brothers wedding til the end?!