huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

athina_2

me and my husband went to a wedding yesterday where he was best man. it started off at 6pm with very nice with food, alcohol and dancing apart from the music which was so loud you couldnt have a conversation with the person next to you.

around 11pm i had a headache and went to put some tiisue in my ears which helped a bit. i have long hair so could hide it.

around 1am i told my husband i would like to leave and he said no, we are staying until the end as he is the best man.

i asked the grooms brother if his wife and one year old daughter wanted to share a taxi back to the hotel as she had been looking fed up since around 10pm and he said no, they are a family and are staying until the end (i thought this was a bit selfish especially with a one year old but each to their own).

so i told my husband i will get a taxi back on my own. he said no, i will suck it up and stay to the end. i got really annoyed and went to sit outside. 30 minutes later he comes to tell me to stop being such baby and go back in. i refused as i had a huge headache from the insanely loud music. he went back in and called a taxi and we both went back.

at the hotel he called me selfish and said i ruined his best friends wedding. i thought this was very unfair as i had no problem in going back alone to the hotel. and to top it off, the hotel phone rang at 7.30am and woke us both up.

id just like some opinions on if i should apologise as he is still really annoyed because i am completely blind here as to what i did wrong

Lotus-eater

He should have been more understanding, but it was probably the booze talking.

Worse things happen at sea, as my Nan used to say.

missk9

I have had many arguments like this in my time and i find reverse pyscology is always the best route :-)

I would personally apologies but say in the truthful sense "Im sorry if you felt I ruined ur best mates wedding, that was not my intention - HOWEVER by about X 0'clock I felt extremely unwell and tried to fight it but I couldnt and just needed to sleep...." and leave it at that..majority of men will return with an apology themselves.. even if you have to wait an hour for it....
I can see both sides and as you are in love - both should say sorry and make up...

jamespir

your husband was being a d!ck possibly cause of the alcohol if it was my gf i would have gone home with her made sure she was okay and then gone back

missk9

jamespir wrote: »

your husband was being a d!ck possibly cause of the alcohol if it was my gf i would have gone home with her made sure she was okay and then gone back

awwwww more men around like this please!

Caroline73_2

If I felt unwell I would just tell my husband I was going, I would neither expect him to stay or come with come with me. The same would happen the other way.

I have to say that the tissues in your ears and sitting outside smacks of attention seeking, as does looking for an ally in the grooms sister in law. You should have just told your husband you were unwell so were heading back to the hotel and you would see him later. I don't understand that he wouldn't let you go. You don't need his permission!

He also had an important role to fulfil as best man. He wasn't just a guest at a party. My husband was best man when I was 8 months pregnant and an usher when baby was 6 weeks old. Ideally I would have preferred him to be with me but I respect his loyalty to his friends.

gratefulforhelp_2

Unusually I completely agree with jamespir. You are an adult, not someone to be told what to do.

geri1965_2

He's being totally out of order. 1am is an acceptable time to want to go home - but even if you wanted to go at 10pm, that is your right! It does sound as if he was drunk and being a !!!!.

I would not apologise - wait and see if he does, but if he doesn't I would be inclined to just put it behind you as one of those things.

problemcashback

sorry seems a bit of a prat, wedding or no wedding you put your wife before everything else

Hope he has made it up to you today

Sambucus_Nigra

He's the one being unreasonable - are you not capable of getting a taxi alone? And yes, for I think the first time ever I agree with James.

onlyroz

Is leaving at 1 AM considered to be early these days? I left my brother's wedding at around 9PM, I think - but I had a 3-year-old to put to bed.

I don't see why it should have been a problem for you to leave in a taxi on your own - but the problem seems to be more related to power issues between yourself and your husband than anything to do with the wedding itself.

I doubt that you "ruined the wedding" - most likely the happy couple would have been too wrapped up in themselves to even notice.