huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

claire16c wrote: »

I dont think its a cultural thing either, the guy is Greek, not from the middle ages.

Dunno - sounds a lot like my old Greek boss - also very plain speaking - you do things properly. You go to a wedding, you come in and go out during the 3 hours long service, but you stay as a family, no wandering off because you don't like the music, looking miserable and sitting outside (unlike over here, where outside is the preserve of smokers and the divorced ).



Taking the position of the 'other side', so perhaps you see it from their point of view;



You've got a headache? Take a paracetamol and keep smiling.

You don't like the music? Stick bog roll in your ears then.

You don't want to be around? Tough. It's one night and someone else's special day.

You try and get someone else to come with you so you aren't looking like a miserable so and so? Not working. They aren't going to risk upsetting the family when they are having fun just because you look like a wet weekend.

You criticise family as being selfish because they want their child to be part of a family celebration, rather than the more traditional UK style of cart the child off and keep them away from special occasions at every opportunity? So someone who spends all day and night looking after their child is expected to exclude themselves from one of the few social events and additionally reduces the child's chances of developing stronger family ties?

It would have been a big thing for the best man's wife to have developed 'a headache' and either made him take her home or left him there.


Apart from the odds of being in a part of Greece or Cyprus where nobody speaks English, so the likelihood of you being completely helpless and reliant on him doing everything for you is small, to him, you were committing some serious social cockups.



Next time, take proper silicon earplugs, solpadine and practice the serene smile that means you really can't hear a thing, but you aren't going to risk insulting and upsetting the happy couple and families by demanding to go home like my daughter used to do when she was being a stroppy madam.



Now I'm switching off the Greek boss personality and saying as someone who gets massive migraines, it really wouldn't have killed you to put up with it just for one night.

onlyroz

At my own wedding the best-man wore shorts and did sod-all apart from sign the register - my stuffy old aunt had a bit of a moan about his shorts, but I'm just glad he had a good time.

As for leaving times, the reception was on a Thames river-boat. There was one stop-off at Richmond at about 11pm and another at Kingston at midnight. Didn't bother me that half the guests left at Richmond - because it's on the tube network and so easier to get home from, whereas (back in those days, before the advent of the night-bus) it was near-impossible to get out of Kingston after 11:30pm.

I think people here need to get a grip.

Person_one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Now I'm switching off the Greek boss personality and saying as someone who gets massive migraines, it really wouldn't have killed you to put up with it just for one night.

You must have the nicest migraines ever if you could 'put up with it' at a wedding at 1am, that's certainly not typical.

Mrs.W_2

The bride and groom, as the two people most likely responsible for organising the reception, should have created an environment where their guests were comfortable too.

How old are they that they feel blaring music and partying into the small hours is acceptable for all elements of a family?

mummyoftwomonkeys

pfft men! I think hes out of order and If it was me I would give him the cold shoulder for a while he will prob have something else to moan about soon enough. You were there late enough I think, me and my husband didn't even stay out that late on our own wedding day as we had a flight booked in the morning :-) I had words with my husband today while I was at work, I phoned him on my lunch break and ended up hanging up on him because he was so moody and I couldn't be doing with that lol

kr15snw

Went to a wedding last weekend where my husband was one of the 'ushers'.

Come 11pm I was SHATTERED and the men had started the drinking games. I wished everyone good night and went up to bed (we we're staying in the venue) to have a nice bath and chill out.

When I said goodnight, hubby checked I was ok (in case I was ill) then laughed I was getting old and kissed me goodnight, promised he wouldn't be too late. And he was good, he came up at 1am when the reception finished and didn't go to the bar with the rest of them (they were up till 4am apparently...)

Honestly if my husband had turned around and kicked off I would have kicked off right back.

At our wedding the best man's wife went to bed at about 10 as she's an early night person. I didn't blink at it!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Person_one wrote: »

You must have the nicest migraines ever if you could 'put up with it' at a wedding at 1am, that's certainly not typical.

Chuck up in the bogs, take another couple of painkillers and get on with it, don't you?

Whether or not you can see is irrelevant when there's the bride and grooms's feelings to think of. Pretty much the same as when you have a small child in your care and you get one, you can't abandon a baby to entertain themselves for 4 hours whilst you take yourself off to bed, you have no choice but to keep going.

But the OP didn't have a migraine, she described a headache. There is a difference.

Tish_P

This is all making a wedding sound like a really unpleasant endurance test. Any bride or groom worth their bouquet/buttonhole wants guests to enjoy themselves as long as they can and then take away pleasant memories, not hang around exhausted and miserable for appearance's sake (let alone in pain).

athina_2

Is this a windup jojo? I can't believe you honestly believe in what you have written here.

victory

Are you two talking now Athina? All sorted?