huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

Stephb1986_2

Come 1am the best man's duties are over what else is expected of him?? There is nothing left to support he has nothing more to do but have a good time.

Steph xx

de1amo

i have been best man 3 times and i consider my duties over when i have made my speech and toasted the happy couple-most happy couples depart long before 1am! so they would be oblivious and the rest of the rabble in a simular state!

Broadwood

DVardysShadow wrote: »

My sympathies over the loud music. For me it turns a potentially pleasant social occasion into a dreadful ordeal. There is many a do I have left for just thta reason.

Couldn't agree more. Many of the wedding discos I've attended over the years have resulted in me either leaving early or relocating to an adjoining room to save my hearing. When the music is too loud to allow conversation with the person in the next chair then it is TOO LOUD!

This is an especially serious problem when there are young children present. Their hearing is more easily damaged. Permanently!

claire16c

Ive been to lots of weddings recently including my own this year (as Im in my late 20s so many people I know are getting married) and every single one of the weddings was over by midnight. So it was easy for everyone to stay til the end.

And, the bride and groom at some weddings leave before the guests anyway.

Once the best man has done his speech (and if there is a dance thing - then im pretty sure it could be done by 1am!!) his duties are over.

Being a best man is exactly that - not being a servant.

And the partner of the best man is irrelevant - not all best men would have one anyway.

I think this whole thing is totally ridiculous to argue over.

Torry_Quine

claire16c wrote: »

And the partner of the best man is irrelevant - not all best men would have one anyway.

I think this whole thing is totally ridiculous to argue over.

Traditionally of course the best man is single so would avoid this 'problem'.

de1amo

if your single your suspose to have 'scored' with the chief bridesmaid which would necessitate and early curtailment to 'your' evening!

Torry_Quine

de1amo wrote: »

if your single your suspose to have 'scored' with the chief bridesmaid which would necessitate and early curtailment to 'your' evening!

Do people really think like this!!!:eek: A dance yes but that's all.

Any

I completely agree it is ridiculous.
She wanted to go, he didn't, she was happy to go by herself so he should have let her and not sulk.
I think the argument over "she should be there to support him " was created only because he is sulking.
(unless of course this is cultural thing or he knew he would be in trouble in the morning for not going:-))
We weren't there.

claire16c

The last wedding but one wedding I was at, I was the chief bridesmaid so to speak, and both myself and the best man were married.

At another wedding I was at, the best man was married already to one of the bridesmaids

I dont think its a cultural thing either, the guy is Greek, not from the middle ages.

make_me_wise

athina wrote: »

me and my husband went to a wedding yesterday where he was best man. it started off at 6pm with very nice with food, alcohol and dancing apart from the music which was so loud you couldnt have a conversation with the person next to you.

around 11pm i had a headache and went to put some tiisue in my ears which helped a bit. i have long hair so could hide it.

around 1am i told my husband i would like to leave and he said no, we are staying until the end as he is the best man.

i asked the grooms brother if his wife and one year old daughter wanted to share a taxi back to the hotel as she had been looking fed up since around 10pm and he said no, they are a family and are staying until the end (i thought this was a bit selfish especially with a one year old but each to their own).

so i told my husband i will get a taxi back on my own. he said no, i will suck it up and stay to the end. i got really annoyed and went to sit outside. 30 minutes later he comes to tell me to stop being such baby and go back in. i refused as i had a huge headache from the insanely loud music. he went back in and called a taxi and we both went back.

at the hotel he called me selfish and said i ruined his best friends wedding. i thought this was very unfair as i had no problem in going back alone to the hotel. and to top it off, the hotel phone rang at 7.30am and woke us both up.

id just like some opinions on if i should apologise as he is still really annoyed because i am completely blind here as to what i did wrong

I am only answering going by what is above. I think your husband needs to grow up to be honest OP. Who does he think he is, your life partner or a father figure who decides every move you make? Why the need to make you feel guilty just because you wanted to leave a wedding a bit early? You weren't throwing a strop or having a meltdown and insisting he leave with you. Good god just because you are married to him does not mean you are joined at the hip and have to get his permission to do anything.

I find it somewhat disturbing that after he spoke to you and treated you in such an out of order way you are on here asking if you should apologise as he is still annoyed.

Put it this way, if my husband and I had been at this wedding and I had done as you had, he would not have had an issue with it. Even if he were best man. I know him inside out and he would have been concerned that I felt uncomfy and had a headache coming on. He would not have minded a bit if I told him I was leaving early. You notice I wouldn't ask his permission, I am an adult and he is an adult and we dont need each others permission to do what we want. Most people in happy and healthy relationships dont. Yes you consider each other but you dont block one another from doing what they need to do.

Stand up for yourself and stop this guy from undermining and controlling you. You are worth more than that.