what are the best value dating sites?

asparagus1968

Scotty,i start a new job in september,no more nhs for me.
heres to new beginnings and new adventures

gardenia101

I have a friend who tried the SingleWithKids dating site (because she is ) but she didn't like the way it worked & became quite fed up with internet dating, so gave up for almost a year. She'd like to try other sites, but if they work in similar ways I'm afraid she'll give up too quickly.

What she didn't like about that particular site was that she would get an email each time someone looked at her profile, with their name,age & location detailed.For whatever reason men would look at her profile, so she'd get lots of notifications, but only 1 man ever messaged her directly & sadly he was over 100 miles away. To me her profile seemed fine - nothing too extreme or opinionated (eg: she didn't say she'd only consider men who were mountain climbers with blonde hair & six figure salaries etc), & she listed a wide range of hobbies so we can't think of anything that screamed NO to any viewers.

She was already fairly fragile, but knowing that over 40 men looked at her profile yet didn't get in touch hasn't improved her confidence... She would rather not have had such notifications & therefore not known about the men who dismissed her profile at all!

Do the other sites work in the same way?

Scotty1.7

Not sure gardina

OKC seems to be ok,

Well still 0 dates for me

Anyone local to me fancy grabbing a coffee?

alyth

gardenia101 wrote: »

I have a friend who tried the SingleWithKids dating site (because she is ) but she didn't like the way it worked & became quite fed up with internet dating, so gave up for almost a year. She'd like to try other sites, but if they work in similar ways I'm afraid she'll give up too quickly.

What she didn't like about that particular site was that she would get an email each time someone looked at her profile, with their name,age & location detailed.For whatever reason men would look at her profile, so she'd get lots of notifications, but only 1 man ever messaged her directly & sadly he was over 100 miles away. To me her profile seemed fine - nothing too extreme or opinionated (eg: she didn't say she'd only consider men who were mountain climbers with blonde hair & six figure salaries etc), & she listed a wide range of hobbies so we can't think of anything that screamed NO to any viewers.

She was already fairly fragile, but knowing that over 40 men looked at her profile yet didn't get in touch hasn't improved her confidence... She would rather not have had such notifications & therefore not known about the men who dismissed her profile at all!

Do the other sites work in the same way?

Plenty of fish has a thing where you can look to see who has viewed you - I only found this out recently when someone told me! I checked my settings again and have mine as now showing on someone's profile when I have looked at them.

I have to say that I reactivated my PoF account a few weeks ago, but rarely use it - I logged in in a bit of downtime last week and got the strangest message ever from some guy who asked if I like angora - he did because it was lovely and fluffy - cue a quick block!

I feel sorry for your friend Gardenia but internet dating is a bit like window shopping, lots of people look but rarely do people get in contact. Perhaps your friend didn't say that she wanted random sex with a stranger as based on past experience that's all 99% of guys seem to want......

System

I found on POF and OkCupid people definetly did message you. In fact my now bf messaged me on POF so there is hope! Though I think with internet dating you often have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (god that sounded cheesy-sorry! )

There will always be the ones just lookng for sex, unfortunetly it does seem to attract them, but i think there are decent people out there, you just have to find them

steveproxy

I have never used a 'dating' site despite meeting a few people online, but a friend met loads of people on plenty offish which is free.

gardenia101

alyth wrote: »

I feel sorry for your friend Gardenia but internet dating is a bit like window shopping, lots of people look but rarely do people get in contact. Perhaps your friend didn't say that she wanted random sex with a stranger as based on past experience that's all 99% of guys seem to want......

Thanks Alyth - & no, she didn't say she was after random sex! She is starting to wonder if she is cut out for internet dating really . She feels she can cope with getting very few messages but the way that previous website works seems just like rubbing salt into a gaping wound & making her feel even more undatable/hideous...

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I found on POF and OkCupid people definetly did message you. In fact my now bf messaged me on POF so there is hope! Though I think with internet dating you often have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (god that sounded cheesy-sorry! )

There will always be the ones just lookng for sex, unfortunetly it does seem to attract them, but i think there are decent people out there, you just have to find them

She was put off Plenty of Fish by her sister who had a "date" with a man who made it very clear he expected to have sex after their coffee. She had chosen an open plan coffee shop in a busy shopping centre & met him at 11, thinking she was being sensible... After several minutes hassle she fled to the disabled toilet (nearest lockable door) but he followed her (we still wonder to this day if he thought it was a come on from her ) & waited outside shouting. In the end she pulled the emergency cord in the toilet & got rescued by a cleaner.

That was the end of internet dating for her.

We also saw a few husbands of friends/work colleagues posted on POF saying they were single when we know they are not. But I guess this happens on every site (not meant as a man bashing comment!).

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

Not sure gardina

OKC seems to be ok,

Well still 0 dates for me

Anyone local to me fancy grabbing a coffee?

She is in Scotland, so not local - & old enough to be your mother (I think). But she follows this thread & has said that you & few other male posters do prove that there are honest & decent men out there looking & that gives her hope.

Incidently - what would you do if you saw men (& women - I'm not sexist ) on sites who had posted they were single but you knew they weren't? Would you tell their partners?

Travelqueen

I did internet dating for 9-10 years - yes, you read that right - before meeting my boyfriend through Guardian Soulmates nearly 2 years ago.
Internet dating can feel like a 2nd job sometimes, lots of time spent emailing and chatting to randoms and then often nothing comes of it. You do have to grow a harder skin I think and be prepared to go and meet people. Most of the time you find that you either mutually think its worth meeting again... or not.
I also found that I couldn't face online dating for more than about 3/4weeks at a time just because it was so time consuming and I have a life other than the computer.
I did meet some lovely people, but also met some nutters, sex addicts, wierdos and perverts (a date with a one and a half legged hyperactive lecherous dentist who insisted on me buying him a drink and then grabbed my t*ts springs to mind here).
The only thing I can say is keep trying, and try different sites, events, parties etc. I'm pretty sure I've been a member of anywhere up to 30 over the time I was single, starting way back in 2001 with love at lycos when only wierdos dated online.
I had given up (again) when a friend suggested Guardian Soulmates, which for me worked as it attracted people similar to me, I think thats the key. I know people who have been successful on match and mysinglefriend etc etc, but because they happened to find someone with the same interests.
I'd say if you're into the countryside try muddy matches, if sports then try fitness singles, a serious dater try eharmony (which I hated, but moving on), for fun PoF or passion.com (ahem)
Good luck, and keep trying, you really never know. Just don't get disheartened, just because A wasn't right doesn't mean that B won't be, or C, or D etc
x

Ladyhawk

Hi Travelqueen... am just in the process of registering for eHarmony. why did you hate it so much?

Scotty1.7

Anyone had any good dates this weekend?

I have had nothing

Trying but failing and I think I'm getting to the break point to just get away and rebuild my confidence