what are the best value dating sites?

lara_412

jellybabyjane wrote: »

He sounds quite unkind as well as clingy! Maybe a close escape finding out what he's like before you did tell him any personal info

How long does everyone feel you should exchange emails for before meeting up? I'm starting to wonder if I should take the initiative and suggest meeting...:o

It depends really, I have spoken to men for a week or so and then met up with them, however I've also spoken to men for many weeks before meeting.

People usually say meet ASAP because once you've become emotionally attached to someone (and it's happened to me) it's really upsetting if things don't work out. So it's best to meet ASAP to see if there is any chemistry or not before getting involved.

IMO, I would probably wait a week or so before suggesting meeting. It gives you some time to get to know them over emails/texts etc but it's also not so long that you become attached to them.

LisaB85

lara_412 wrote: »

Hi everyone, hope you're all okay.

I've been chatting to a guy on okcupid. At first he seemed quite "normal" then he suddenly got annoyed when I wouldn't tell him where I worked. I told him that I wouldn't say where I worked due to safety reasons. I then received a message saying that I was being paranoid and he wouldn't have turned up at my work place anyway.

He'd then constantly message me if I didn't reply within a certain amount of time. :mad: He'd accuse me of ignoring him. Argh, I don't sit on my computer all day, that's the reason why I didn't answer! :mad:

I suffer with a health issue and he took the mickey out of it. I found that highly disrespectful and told him this but he never apologised.

He also wouldn't send me any photos of himself (he only has one on his profile) and said he couldn't get any new photos. Hmm how strange.

Psycho alert!! x

smudger1964

jellybabyjane wrote: »

He sounds quite unkind as well as clingy! Maybe a close escape finding out what he's like before you did tell him any personal info

How long does everyone feel you should exchange emails for before meeting up? I'm starting to wonder if I should take the initiative and suggest meeting...:o

If you like him you should take the initiative some people never want to meet just want to exchange endless emails..
the longer you message the more of a picture you build up in your head and the more like he is nothing like that picture and you could be dissapointed..in my experience

jellybabyjane

Thanks lara and smudger! Good point, I'd not thought of it from the point of view of building up an image of someone that's only based on emails... I'd better be brave then and suggest meeting!!

jellybabyjane

Sorry, me again! smudger - do you mean literally? there are some people who are just after making email buddies?

smudger1964

jellybabyjane wrote: »

Sorry, me again! smudger - do you mean literally? there are some people who are just after making email buddies?

Yes i normally suggest a meeting early on soon as you get a feeling that you might get on..Messages and texts are ok before you meet but how many times and different ways can you say good morning if the wait for the first meeting is weeks

If you suggest meeting and the first "available date" from them is weeks away could give you some idea how the dating might be panning out

Yes some girls want to message for ages and ages..I had one that did that when i eventually got to meet her some of the things I was saying at the date she said "you told me that in a message" theres me thinking well you were the one that didnt want to meet for 6 weeks

just my take on it but a phone call before meeting is good too cos im guessing you dont want to meet him and find out he sounds like joe pasquale

sunny_d_2

smudger1964 wrote: »

Yes i normally suggest a meeting early on soon as you get a feeling that you might get on..Messages and texts are ok before you meet but how many times and different ways can you say good morning if the wait for the first meeting is weeks

I was very ,very wary regarding online dating before I came across this forum, but as time has went on, and I see what other people got up too my confidence has grown so much more, so thanks all for that

I always thought I would need to chat to someone for a long time before I agreed to meet them, but I found even I was getting bored with that lol There is only so much you can ask someone about their day, the weather etc

I spoke to a guy online the other night, I liked the look and sound of him, we chatted about what we were both looking for in a relationship and spoke about how long you should wait before meeting. I felt a connection to him straight away and before I knew it I had agreed to meet up with him, he's been texting me and we're meeting up this week! :eek: or :j?

I think if it feels right, you should just go for it! As long as you feel safe and stay close to home.

sapphireeye

On the subject of meeting, I think I'm in the camp of meeting pretty quickly. Not so quickly that you don't really know anything about them, but if you've had some good, interesting conversation going and you are enjoying chatting to them then why not meet in person and see if things are the same in real life. The idea of actually meeting someone petrified me but when talking to my current boyfriend our conversations over email got very long very quickly and I think he asked if I wanted to meet up with him about 3/4 days after I'd first contacted him and I really wanted to meet him to see whether we got on as well in person so we met for the first time 5 days after our first contact.

I think that if you talk to someone for too long there are several things that can happen:
a - you get too attached to their online persona and start creating an image of what they will be like in person and this image can be completely different to the reality which would leave you disappointed even if they were really nice, whereas if you'd met them before you'd had a chance to envision them as your dream man/woman then you may have seen things differently.

b - you get bored of talking to them over the internet and lose interest because there's only so long you can sustain an online conversation for without really knowing much about each other. They could be perfect for you but because you've spent so long emailing each other you've both got a bit bored and less interested in actually meeting each other.

c - You start to pick faults as a means of talking yourself out of meeting them. Eg. 'Oh he's just said that he doesn't like marmite, I like marmite therefore it'll never work so we just shouldn't meet up'.

To be honest I think once you've had a really rubbish first meet then the concept of meeting up with someone and doing it within the first week or so becomes less scary and more appealing. A few years before I tried my hand at internet dating I had gone on a date with a man from my work who I'd been talking to on facebook but had never met, I'd built up a picture of him, it was completely wrong and the whole 'date' was a complete disaster. That experience taught me that you're probably better off meeting quickly because someone's online persona doesn't always match the way they are in person and it also made me less worried about the concept of that because if I had got through that absolutely awful, awkward date then I could get through anything

Also, I remember reading that there are so many aspects of a person that you just can't judge without meeting them, and it's so true. They could have a really strong accent which you find impossible to understand. They might have a really annoying laugh which drives you crazy. They might be really touchy feely and you might not like public displays of affection. You just can't tell until you've met in person.

Barny1979

In the space of three days I've had 3 women delete their accounts on POF whilst in email conversation with me

missmontana

I think I should go back on POF so I have some new stories to share!!

All the ladies that have linked your profiles, you look lovely, I too am a red headed single mum!:) You all have great pics, showing off some of your best assets I'm getting my hair done tomorrow so will have to have a night out and take lots of pics :T