what are the best value dating sites?

jdp1970

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

It took me so darn long to type my post you posted in the mean time! I wasn't intending my reply to look like and answer to yours, sorry.

Of course it doesn't work for everyone, very few things do. The point I think I'm trying to make is why should I feel ashamed to admit to using internet dating, why is it seen as a last resort for those of us who have failed in all other ways to meet a partner? It's like there's something sleazy about it yet from the number of people who have come on here and told us how happy they are having met someone this way, it obviously can work.

To add to the debate (which I'm enjoying by the way, thanks everyone for keeping it a friendly debate!) what do people think of the older fashioned 'dateline' type of services? Or newspaper ads. I know from looking in my paper that people still do those, are they an effective way of meeting people?

Well I think when people say "as a last resort"....... it's not that they feel it's sleazy, just that I suppose we all hope we will meet someone in our lives through work or in our free-time....but when that doesnt happen we then feel we are resorting to other means...

Scotty1.7

good view there

I think that sums it up quite well

There_Goes_Trouble

It feels more like failure to be honest.

I also think it depends who is around you too. I work with a pretty girl who, when she broke up with her last boyfriend (amicably but long over due - her words) she had met 3 potential new boyfriends within 2 weeks of being single! OK so they haven't worked out and she doesn't want anything serious so soon anyway, but that's the kind of person I'm with all day. (she's a lovely person by the way, she doesn't show off about it or anything like that) The ones that aren't like that are all happily married and have been for a long time. Maybe that contributes to how I feel about it. Added to which the inevitable bodyclock thing (although I don't go on about children online, I do still have a faint glimmer of hope that it's not too late) means that really, having spent the last 20 years 'not looking' and thinking that 'you'll meet someone when you least expect it', it just isn't enough any more. I haven't met anyone by NOT looking, so perhaps it's time I DO look!

I'd love to just meet someone, but it doesn't happen to me like that.

Scotty1.7

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

It feels more like failure to be honest.

I also think it depends who is around you too. I work with a pretty girl who, when she broke up with her last boyfriend (amicably but long over due - her words) she had met 3 potential new boyfriends within 2 weeks of being single! OK so they haven't worked out and she doesn't want anything serious so soon anyway, but that's the kind of person I'm with all day. (she's a lovely person by the way, she doesn't show off about it or anything like that) The ones that aren't like that are all happily married and have been for a long time. Maybe that contributes to how I feel about it. Added to which the inevitable bodyclock thing (although I don't go on about children online, I do still have a faint glimmer of hope that it's not too late) means that really, having spent the last 20 years 'not looking' and thinking that 'you'll meet someone when you least expect it', it just isn't enough any more. I haven't met anyone by NOT looking, so perhaps it's time I DO look!

I'd love to just meet someone, but it doesn't happen to me like that.

You shouldn't feel like that- your no failure

deb68_2

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

It feels more like failure to be honest.

I also think it depends who is around you too. I work with a pretty girl who, when she broke up with her last boyfriend (amicably but long over due - her words) she had met 3 potential new boyfriends within 2 weeks of being single! OK so they haven't worked out and she doesn't want anything serious so soon anyway, but that's the kind of person I'm with all day. (she's a lovely person by the way, she doesn't show off about it or anything like that) The ones that aren't like that are all happily married and have been for a long time. Maybe that contributes to how I feel about it. Added to which the inevitable bodyclock thing (although I don't go on about children online, I do still have a faint glimmer of hope that it's not too late) means that really, having spent the last 20 years 'not looking' and thinking that 'you'll meet someone when you least expect it', it just isn't enough any more. I haven't met anyone by NOT looking, so perhaps it's time I DO look!

I'd love to just meet someone, but it doesn't happen to me like that.

You will find mr right im sure you will

dont be down about thiis
you will find him or maybe he will find you
you deserve to be happy an im sure you will
you sound a very careing person
take care
debx

There_Goes_Trouble

deb68 wrote: »

You will find mr right im sure you will

dont be down about thiis
you will find him or maybe he will find you

Sadly no one can guarantee anything in life - unless you're psychic in which case can I have a reading please!!!

Anyway, I'm sure I'm just getting down because I have Christmas and a milestone birthday coming up. I was the same when I turned 35. I'll be fine with or without a someone. Thanks for the messages, sorry to turn this into my own personal support group!

littlestar1981

Just pulling this back to:money: again... free dating, even if the name is a bit offputting!! http://www.loopylove.com/

RichGold

A friend of mine met his future missus on loopy love. They've just bought a big house together only a couple of months back.

Souk08

Hey all, just wanted to add my tuppenceworth to this. I have been internet dating for a few years now on and off and I have to say I've met some very sexy men that I've seen for a while, some not so sexy (to me) men that I've met once and lots in between but no one awful or scary. LOTS that I havent sparked with or havent fancied me but thats ok. I have to declare now that I dont want a husband or a baby, just great conversation and yep the s€x so a bit different to most women but its no easier really as most of the men who contact me are not for me anyway and as its ALL about the physical bit then I have to find them attractive from day 1. Not to say they have to be Brad Pitt but I have to like them. Also I am very chatty and confident so I dont find shy men sexy but the fact is I work with all women and socialise a lot with gay men but enjoy the s€x so have to look on the internet sometimes as Im not prepared to spend the next 10 years of my life while I still look half decent not having any because I cant meet men in the 'normal' ways!!!

NO ONE has to settle nowadays and I dont think we should feel pressure to meet someone we dont fancy just so we wont be alone. Being alone has MANY benefits but if you do want a man and a family then internet dating can be fab. Just dont go in with very high expectations and remember that its a numbers game and you'll be fine. IGNORE the smuggies, they have no idea and enjoy the freedom of single life and the fun of dating. Also, dont be so quick to judge people who only want flings. Sometimes a nice, fun fling can really restore confidence and be just what you need. Happy hunting X

jdp1970

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

It took me so darn long to type my post you posted in the mean time! I wasn't intending my reply to look like and answer to yours, sorry.

Of course it doesn't work for everyone, very few things do. The point I think I'm trying to make is why should I feel ashamed to admit to using internet dating, why is it seen as a last resort for those of us who have failed in all other ways to meet a partner? It's like there's something sleazy about it yet from the number of people who have come on here and told us how happy they are having met someone this way, it obviously can work.

To add to the debate (which I'm enjoying by the way, thanks everyone for keeping it a friendly debate!) what do people think of the older fashioned 'dateline' type of services? Or newspaper ads. I know from looking in my paper that people still do those, are they an effective way of meeting people?

I met my ex through a newspaper ad....we stayed together for years, but ended up growing apart..
We're still on friendly terms though.
The only downside is they are so expensive.