what are the best value dating sites?

Scotty1.7

littlestar1981 wrote: »

Hmmm I haven't got one friend that has gone on a dating site for anything other than trying to find someone 'special'... but sometimes the number of psychos asking for sexual encounters within 5 minutes makes it hard to separate the good uns from the bad uns...



Proof of my point above!



Disagreeing with you again sorry!!! In my humble opinion lots of women on there have low self esteem and have realistic expectations of who they are going to meet and, as above, get quickly bombarded with nutjobs wanting sex and give up altogether. I can honestly say that I don't have a type of man I like, all my exs have been totally different to each other in the looks department... I tend to get to know people and slowly fall for the person they are on the inside.



None, but I have received many messages where I've read them, they've sounded like lovely people and I've freaked out thinking this person seems really nice, nicer than I deserve, and just the left the message there. People always say you can hide behind a message, but that isn't always true.... especially when people say it's a last resort for them finding a partner it's a lot of pressure on themselves to come across in the right way.

I'm quite happy to respect your views there, They are clearly and soundly based on what you have seen/ experienced, as are mine.

And yes there are lots, in fact far to many guys who use these sites as, well for want of a better word, a hunting ground for more- and yes some already have partners

It means that it is very hard for a girl to really be able to believe someone- as you rightly pointed in my house mates view and experiences.

I would quite happily sit down over a coffee, pint or whatever and just chat with someone to get to know them.

And with reference to your last comment about some girls having low esteem and self confidence thus joining these sites- again, I would say it takes alot of self belief to sign up to the likes of POF and put your self out there for a wider audience.

We all need to stop seeing it as a last resort and see it as another opportunity, and take the pressure off ourselves- that is a mental thing and only us as individuals can do this but I think we need to.

I think the crux of the problem lies with those who use these sites for the wrong reason meaning those of us who want to use them for the right reason ( to find someone, not find something to do) normally get mixed into the same barrel

littlestar1981

Agree with you completely :j:T:beer:;)

Scotty1.7

littlestar1981 wrote: »

Agree with you completely :j:T:beer:;)

:beer:;):rotfl:

jdp1970

[QUOTE= I've had about 20 messages in an hour to the quality of "Wanna frndship may b more wha u say????". I think all but one of the people who have messaged me are only after one thing, so I can see why people find it disheartening... but when you have a face like mine its kinda flattering that someone thinks you are even mildly attractive haha. Having looked through some of the profiles I don't think most of the guys on there are really the type of person who I'm looking for (I'm fairly quiet, not that into clubbing/drinking), but I have read the odd profile that seems nice. I guess the type of guy I am looking for are the hardest to find in real life because they are likely to be at home.

I don't think there's anything wrong with internet dating, once you get stuck in your friendship groups and people start to pair off I think its very hard to find someone. It seems like there are a lot of weirdo's on POF, but there's loads of weirdo's in real life too, and just like joining a club or something has worked for some and not others, I guess internet dating will work for some and not others.

Although I'm kinda quiet I do love meeting new people, so I'm sort of looking forward to this whole internet dating thing...when I'm ready.[/QUOTE]

I have had the same problem...the kind of guy I wanna meet is likely to be at home. I joined POF and match.com and a couple of others and have only met weirdos, married men, very boring men etc etc
The right person will turn up in your life in some way...my friend met her guy when he became her lodger...they got on like a house on fire and ended up dating!
Another mate of mine met her guy at the train station...
It could even be that annoying salesman at your door...

I am not using dating sites any-more...made me feel very disheartened.

Ever noticed when you need a special outfit for a special do, you cant find it, eve tho you trapes round loads of shops...?
But when you aren't looking, you stumble across a shop selling exactly what you want?

If you don't find Mr/Mrs Right on the dating sites, it's probably because you're too busy looking for them on the dating site, to have 'met' them for real...

I know they work for some people, but I think it depends on the type of person you are and the type of person you're looking for...

littlestar1981

sorry I've duplicated my post

littlestar1981

Hmmmm! http://www.meetup.com/Understanding-the-male-mind-and-meet-more-men/events/33731012/

I have been trying to think of other places I could meet and get to know people. In the past I've met people through work, but my next job involves working with criminals so I'm not sure it'll be easy or appropriate!!! :rotfl:

alyth

I've actually just killed my PoF profile this morning - I had a very strong profile that said I wasn't looking for an "encounter", I was looking for something more substantial. I've been on it probably for about three years on and off, chatted to some guys on the site and met two of them for a coffee - having checked them out very carefully first, by that I mean speaking to them on the phone, getting their addresses, checking they actually lived there (I know that sounds obsessed but had a bad experience with a guy who turned out to be living with someone).

I have to say that I think there are very few guys - and this is just my personal experience - from 40s onwards that want anything other than a sexual experience. A lot of the guys that emailed me wanted to text straight away (no good as my mobile doesn't work up here!) and a lot of them almost immediately started turning the conversation into a sexual experience.

I also had a couple of bad encounters on line with guys who recognised me from work (supermarket at weekends) who would see me at work then email me saying they had seen me - and both these guys were creeping me out with their messages which weren't nice. I also, because I'm a student so would be on the site more during the day than evening or weekends, attractive a helluva lot of bored marrieds - again that just dishearted me.

I wasn't specifically looking for the one, I was looking for friendship and if that let to something then good, but I do feel the site has seriously gone downhill since I first started using it.

I'll stick to my studies and if someone appears then fine, if not it's no great loss if I never meet anyone ever again :-)

jdp1970

littlestar1981 wrote: »

duplicate post

No not duplicate post...i was quoting what someone had said earlier on...

Scotty1.7

I think littlestar meant her post was a duplicate jdp

jdp1970

Hi Scotty - LOL!
Sorry I am new to this!!