what are the best value dating sites?

Scotty1.7

deb68 wrote: »

so before the internet how on earth did people meet?
going for walks,going the pub,dancing,
going the pics meeting thro friends,at work by chance
wasnt it so much nicer then

Indeed- I really wish I was born a good few years (like the 50s etc) cause thats how you met people, and there was no preconception stuff top the level of today.

I guess those of us who want to meet someone just struggle on and are for want of a better word, the eternal optomists of the world

Scotty1.7

Ladyhawk wrote: »

I think you might have a point here Scotty. I have made snap decisions based on what my ideal man would be - ie non-smoker and without kids. If I met a smoker with kids in R/L and there was a spark then I would pursue it. I just didn' want to "waste" my time on someone... Does that make me a puddle? probably.

I can see the point here- however, if you feel strongly about something then you can make a descion about this.

I mean none of us would ever want some to change anything about some- though quitting smoking is just good health

deb68_2

was born late 60"s still wouldnt go on those sites
am not a prude just believe mr or mrs right is out there for everyone
have known friends go on them have had good dates
also ones that ended up really hurt n broken by the lies people say on the sites
a lot of married people go on them ive been told so is that just people looking for a quickie?
im married love my OH more than life if anything happened an we wernt together or worse
i would still never go on them

but i wish everyone that does all the best an hope u find what your looking for
deb

jdp1970

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

I use plentyoffish and smooch, i met one guy off plentyoffish had five dates, then he turned on me. He was an only child grew up in well to do family, went to boarding school, was married 25 years and wife left him for another man. He was a gardener self employed, a cat and no kids. Father died when very young. He promised to take me day out in the lakes then backed out because he didnt want to leave his cat and didnt want to drive all that way. there's me making him nice teas (he didnt like travelling 25 miles to my house),and even though the first dates he made an effort.took me for a meal, he began to want me at his house all the time rather than going for enjoyable days out, asked about my finances, he didnt understand why women had to work full time. The tea he made me was an onion bahji topped with burnt seaweed. My teas were properly cooked as I love treating my man. I made an effort and made some nice pasta dishes and curries that were healthy.

Anyway when he couldnt be bothered to pick me up on way to lakes, (he wanted me to drive 3/4 to his house) he then called me a chauvinist pig, huge inflated ego (because i am confident),cruel to cats (because i work and leave them sleeping at home) and a skinflint golddigger because I hadnt bought him a coffee yet. He believes in women doing as they are told and not working. Said he couldnt keep up with my hectic life, which is going to work and coming home and spending some weekends with my daughter.

Needless to say few days later after telling him its over he then said he was missing me then when I said no, he went nasty again.
Then he sent me pics of his day out as if like a child to try and make me envious for some reason.:eek:

Anyway had to warn him of harrassment.

Ive looked at the paying sites and they dont let you pay monthly so I said no to that.

I used POF...same sort of experience as you.
I have come to the conclusion that its better to just meet someone naturally.
But dont try too hard..just live your life and go with the flow...

Ladyhawk

Deb68 - that is exactly the attitude that is so frustratng. You are looking down your nose at us being all smug because you have been lucky enough to have met the love of your life. And that is what it is - luck.

There are scum bags that you meet in all manner of ways in life... dare I say on here there are some distinctly dreadful people who I wouldn't dream of associating with. But on the whole members are just trying to get along and trying to help out. You don't know the agenda of anyone that you meet out and about, just like you don't online.

You say that you know people who have been left brokenhearted from oline dating. Do you not also know people who have been left broken hearted by people they have met in a club, pub, society?

Scotty1.7

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Deb68 - that is exactly the attitude that is so frustratng. You are looking down your nose at us being all smug because you have been lucky enough to have met the love of your life. And that is what it is - luck.

There are scum bags that you meet in all manner of ways in life... dare I say on here there are some distinctly dreadful people who I wouldn't dream of associating with. But on the whole members are just trying to get along and trying to help out. You don't know the agenda of anyone that you meet out and about, just like you don't online.

You say that you know people who have been left brokenhearted from oline dating. Do you not also know people who have been left broken hearted by people they have met in a club, pub, society?

Agreed with most of this- and there are probably more from pubs/clubs etc because some time you end up in bed with them and then a few weeks later you here what the said about to there friends

The one plus side from on-line dating is sometimes you never meet the person who walks away so its alot easier to move on when this happens- normally cause they think something better has messaged them and they drop you like a hot potatoes

psychopathbabble

On all the sites I've used, there are weirdos, you have to just trust your gut and be careful when you do meet up with someone. The usual dating rules apply - don't take risks and always tell someone where you are going! I'd do this even if I met the guy on a night out.

Personally I know a few people who have met someone on POF and are very happy (I've been with my bf from POF 10 months) my best friend has married and just had her first child with a guy from there. I have been dating online on and off for about 8 years and it's only now I have found someone that I have fallen for and gone beyond two dates with. Don't expect to fall in love with the first guy you meet, have fun chatting to people and getting out and about and just see what comes along

ETA I didn't even really want to meet my boyfriend at the time... I only went along as it was too late to cancel without looking really rude, he thought I was a bit scary and didn't think I'd want to see him again... 3 days later I went to his to watch a film, then he went home for christmas for two weeks but we spoke on the phone a lot and got to know each other on facebook etc and now I've met the parents, we have had discussions regarding children and the future. You just never know

Scotty1.7

psychopathbabble wrote: »

On all the sites I've used, there are weirdos, you have to just trust your gut and be careful when you do meet up with someone. The usual dating rules apply - don't take risks and always tell someone where you are going! I'd do this even if I met the guy on a night out.

Personally I know a few people who have met someone on POF and are very happy (I've been with my bf from POF 10 months) my best friend has married and just had her first child with a guy from there. I have been dating online on and off for about 8 years and it's only now I have found someone that I have fallen for and gone beyond two dates with. Don't expect to fall in love with the first guy you meet, have fun chatting to people and getting out and about and just see what comes along

ETA I didn't even really want to meet my boyfriend at the time... I only went along as it was too late to cancel without looking really rude, he thought I was a bit scary and didn't think I'd want to see him again... 3 days later I went to his to watch a film, then he went home for christmas for two weeks but we spoke on the phone a lot and got to know each other on facebook etc and now I've met the parents, we have had discussions regarding children and the future. You just never know

That sounds very true, and at least you gave him a chance, and look were you are now

psychopathbabble

deb68 wrote: »

so before the internet how on earth did people meet?
going for walks,going the pub,dancing,
going the pics meeting thro friends,at work by chance
wasnt it so much nicer then

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

Indeed- I really wish I was born a good few years (like the 50s etc) cause thats how you met people, and there was no preconception stuff top the level of today.

I guess those of us who want to meet someone just struggle on and are for want of a better word, the eternal optomists of the world

deb68 wrote: »

was born late 60"s still wouldnt go on those sites
am not a prude just believe mr or mrs right is out there for everyone
have known friends go on them have had good dates
also ones that ended up really hurt n broken by the lies people say on the sites
a lot of married people go on them ive been told so is that just people looking for a quickie?
im married love my OH more than life if anything happened an we wernt together or worse
i would still never go on them

but i wish everyone that does all the best an hope u find what your looking for
deb

I think the difference is that a few years ago, more people were happy to 'settle' for things in life... it was usual that you would marry someone you went to school with, have children, live in the same town for 40 years (i'm not saying everyone did, just most) whereas now more and more people want to get more from life, see more than just the little town they grew up in and settle for a life with someone they like but not necessarily love, they want the prince charming (or princess) that they grew up watching in disney films. Maybe these expectations of being swept of your feet and falling in love like they do in the movies is unrealistic, but why settle for anything less?

littlestar1981

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

I'm now at the point were I sometimes feel that 90% of the ladies/girls on the likes of POF really aren't on there for a relationship or anything at all, its just a 'in thing as all my friends are doing it'

Hmmm I haven't got one friend that has gone on a dating site for anything other than trying to find someone 'special'... but sometimes the number of psychos asking for sexual encounters within 5 minutes makes it hard to separate the good uns from the bad uns... this week I've had 6 messages on POF all asking for sex, and 3 of them were blatant copy and paste jobs as they had someone elses name on!!!

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

My housemate, who is a girl, is on there, and because she has the word 'fun' on her profile, virtually every date I have heard her go on has ended up with them thinking they are going to get 'laid' with her.

Proof of my point above!

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

Personally I think girls are to busy looking for the 'Brad Pitt' or who ever the 'fittest' guy at the time is based on there magazines. And I now avoid like the plague any girls profile who says ' I think personality is more important then looks'- If the type that, there lying, and are normally- not always, but normally the most selfish people you will know.

Disagreeing with you again sorry!!! In my humble opinion lots of women on there have low self esteem and have realistic expectations of who they are going to meet and, as above, get quickly bombarded with nutjobs wanting sex and give up altogether. I can honestly say that I don't have a type of man I like, all my exs have been totally different to each other in the looks department... I tend to get to know people and slowly fall for the person they are on the inside. I'm sorry if that sounds like a lie, but it really isn't, if you saw my exes most women wouldn't find 75% of them in any way attractive but I spent months or years in love with them.

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

Now I know alot of the girls who have posted on this thread will post up that this isn't true, and they don't act like that or think like that etc etc. So before you post I have a challenge for you- How many times have you got a message, and ignored it because you made a snap decision you didn't like them???

None, but I have received many messages where I've read them, they've sounded like lovely people and I've freaked out thinking this person seems really nice, nicer than I deserve, and just the left the message there. People always say you can hide behind a message, but that isn't always true.... especially when people say it's a last resort for them finding a partner it's a lot of pressure on themselves to come across in the right way.