what are the best value dating sites?

Scotty1.7

np anytime

deb68_2

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Deb68 - that is exactly the attitude that is so frustratng. You are looking down your nose at us being all smug because you have been lucky enough to have met the love of your life. And that is what it is - luck.

There are scum bags that you meet in all manner of ways in life... dare I say on here there are some distinctly dreadful people who I wouldn't dream of associating with. But on the whole members are just trying to get along and trying to help out. You don't know the agenda of anyone that you meet out and about, just like you don't online.

You say that you know people who have been left brokenhearted from oline dating. Do you not also know people who have been left broken hearted by people they have met in a club, pub, society?

No Huni
not looking down my nose at people that use them i do worry about peoples safety,
I would never look down on other people
i am not that way my mate has met her oh on one of those sites took a few frogs to find prince charming lol
an she is happy. im really happy for her she was in an awful relationship--beaten,kids treated horrendously, even had to go to womens refuge just want people to be careful
yes my oh is love of my life

no its not been perfect far from it at times i can not go into why things were very bad at times as it would be wrong,
i just could never put myself out there like that
if you see what im saying
please all keep safe thats all im saying

i dont want anyone to think im being awful just want you to becareful

VestanPance

I've never tried online dating, but agree with those saying it isn't a last resort or really different for any other method of meeting people.

I can tell the tale of two people I know though. The first being a current college who gave up on PoF after a year and no dates. He said by the end of it his self belief was in the bin. Taking the time to read profiles and asking questions about the womans hobbies or something they had written about. He said he was lucky to get one response in every 50 messages sent!

Another ex-workmate of mine had both success and disaster on PoF. First account he set up he used the same idea as the first lad. Same senario no replies. He then switched to being "wacky" as he put it and he ws getting a much better response rate. He said he didn't even read profiles, just send daft messages like "have you seen my elephant?" and women would reply to it! He thought it was because using method one you're one of a few dozen guys messaging them each day asking the same questions. Using method two you stick out even it you look a pillock doing it. His advice to get conversations sparked up was go wacky!!

jdp1970

I got chatting to a guy on POF for a few weeks and it seemed to be going somewhere....then he said about us meeting up.
i said I would be happy to meet half way (he lives up north, i live in east mids).
He then said "I haven't got any money, but would be happy to meet up for a snog"

Great...!
I thought we were gonna meet up for a chat and get to know each-other :-(

On another occassion, a guy sent me a million (well it was an awful lot) kisses.
I replied, he msg'd me back, then I never heard from him again...

You get your hopes up, then you get them squashed...
this is how it keeps going on.

Thats why I have given up on dating sites...

deb68_2

Dont live in the town i grew up in, (wasnt born there)i moved there age 11
my dad was from there only reason we went to live there
an we moved before got married
moved back to bring the kids up
our kids werent born there oh was in Army
moved back as it was a quite seaside town easier for the kids
no longer live there
im only trying to say please be careful
of course there are sickos scum in all walks of life how ever they are met
if you arange TO MEET SOMONE LET YOUR MATES NO AN WHERE YOU WILL BE
JUST SO THEY NO YOU ARE OK
I am not being snobby,snotty,horrible just want people to kp safe

There_Goes_Trouble

I think though that you get all types of men/women in all ways of meeting people. The last man that showed an interest in me was married with a teenage daughter. He knew that I knew this because I'd met his wife, yet he still thought that it was appropriate to try and start a relationship with me (I however was not impressed and haven't spoken to him since that day other than a polite 'hello' when I have no option in passing.) We have to remember that the internet is only a way of meeting someone, no guarantee that they are who they say they are. We have to take the same precautions as you would meeting someone any other way.

Ever noticed when you need a special outfit for a special do, you cant find it, eve tho you trapes round loads of shops...?
But when you aren't looking, you stumble across a shop selling exactly what you want?

If you don't find Mr/Mrs Right on the dating sites, it's probably because you're too busy looking for them on the dating site, to have 'met' them for real...

But that's the whole point of this conversation, we're using the sites because we haven't met them for real anywhere else!! Lord knows I'd love to meet someone in a coffee shop, supermarket, at a party or wedding, at work... all those places that are considered 'normal'.

Everyone seems to have a 'mate' who married their lodger, or met on a train, or met at a club, running a scout troop.... the list goes on but it hasn't happened for me and no one can guarantee it will!!! And I don't want to get to 80 and wish I'd tried that internet thing.... if I'm still single at 80 I will at least know that I gave myself every opportunity to meet someone but he just wasn't there. I do go out, I am out every night of the week and weekends too sometimes so I'm not relying solely on the internet, it's just another option.

There_Goes_Trouble

Debs, appreciate the advice but it also applies to every situation, not just meeting people off the net.

When I went out on Thursday I picked a pub I know well (but am not a regular!) that has it's own car park (well lit, CCTV) so no walking across town. It is opposite where I work where there is a 24 hour security guard who I know (so somewhere to drive into and be safe within minutes if I'm worried about being followed home), I had two friends waiting for me to text them and if they hadn't had a text from me by a certain time to say I was in the car with the doors locked heading home, (that exact message, any other message indicated I'm in trouble) they would raise the alarm.

That's probably more than most people would do going on a first date with someone they don't know very well!

jdp1970

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

I think though that you get all types of men/women in all ways of meeting people. The last man that showed an interest in me was married with a teenage daughter. He knew that I knew this because I'd met his wife, yet he still thought that it was appropriate to try and start a relationship with me (I however was not impressed and haven't spoken to him since that day other than a polite 'hello' when I have no option in passing.) We have to remember that the internet is only a way of meeting someone, no guarantee that they are who they say they are. We have to take the same precautions as you would meeting someone any other way.


But that's the whole point of this conversation, we're using the sites because we haven't met them for real anywhere else!! Lord knows I'd love to meet someone in a coffee shop, supermarket, at a party or wedding, at work... all those places that are considered 'normal'.

Everyone seems to have a 'mate' who married their lodger, or met on a train, or met at a club, running a scout troop.... the list goes on but it hasn't happened for me and no one can guarantee it will!!! And I don't want to get to 80 and wish I'd tried that internet thing.... if I'm still single at 80 I will at least know that I gave myself every opportunity to meet someone but he just wasn't there. I do go out, I am out every night of the week and weekends too sometimes so I'm not relying solely on the internet, it's just another option.

But what I am saying is - it doesnt work for everyone...I didnt say it doesnt work fullstop. Read my post again..
What I am trying to say is this: if you dont meet someone on a dating site or in normal circumstances, its probably because your trying too hard..
Often it happens when you least expect it......
But I am not saying dont join a dating site or go out and socialise to meet someone.
The only time I ever met anyone, was when I wasnt looking,........

There_Goes_Trouble

jdp1970 wrote: »

But what I am saying is - it doesnt work for everyone...I didnt say it doesnt work fullstop. Read my post again..

It took me so darn long to type my post you posted in the mean time! I wasn't intending my reply to look like and answer to yours, sorry.

Of course it doesn't work for everyone, very few things do. The point I think I'm trying to make is why should I feel ashamed to admit to using internet dating, why is it seen as a last resort for those of us who have failed in all other ways to meet a partner? It's like there's something sleazy about it yet from the number of people who have come on here and told us how happy they are having met someone this way, it obviously can work.

To add to the debate (which I'm enjoying by the way, thanks everyone for keeping it a friendly debate!) what do people think of the older fashioned 'dateline' type of services? Or newspaper ads. I know from looking in my paper that people still do those, are they an effective way of meeting people?

deb68_2

you never need to feel ashamed "Ther goes trouble"
just keep safe
xx