what are the best value dating sites?

mildredalien

I tried a few a couple of years ago after recovering from a bad breakup. Plentyoffish I found to be a bit.... un-classy... and I was too tight to pay for any subscriptions :P However I did meet my current OH on okcupid! He was actually the first person I met in person through internet dating... hmm that makes me sound a little desperate flinging myself at the first guy I met :rotfl: Oh well, we are just very well matched - similar interests, similar sense of humour and values etc. I suppose I was lucky! We've been together for over a year now, live together and he's one of the sweetest, most amazing men I know!

My tip would be to be very honest when making your profile, and when choosing who to talk to. I didn't really bother with anyone who didn't share at least SOME of my interests, and wasn't shy in putting my interests and thoughts down. I just felt that if I went into it trying to pretend I was someone else or just being bland I'd never meet someone who was actually right for me.

Also, we spent quite a lot of time chatting via e-mail and MSN before we met up, so we both had an idea of how we got on. Made our first date much more comfortable as it wasn't a 'blind date' as such

There_Goes_Trouble

deannatrois wrote: »

So personally, I'd try to find someone in real life who was available.., maybe through doing volunteer work etc.

Oh gosh, why didn't I think of this!!

Sorry, don't mean to be flippant but seriously, most of us 'resort' to internet dating when all other methods of meeting people in real life have failed. I work in an almost all female environment with a very stable work force, there are rarely any new people joining us. I am a member of 3 badminton clubs and a running club, and I have done a lot of volunteering throughout my adult life although nothing regular at present.

At nearly 40 years old I have spent the last 20 or so years being told to get out more, meet more people, stop looking and you'll find someone when you least expect it.... all well meaning but not very helpful.

I have got to be proactive or I will spend the rest of my life alone. And while I know there are worse things in life and I'm not desperately unhappy as a single person (and it does have advantages as RichGold said in a previous post,) I believe I could be happier if I had someone to share my life with. I don't want to live alone for my whole life.

So, for now I'll go back to the drawing board and start again if I can find someone on the dating sites who looks interesting. Wish me luck!

Scotty1.7

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

Oh gosh, why didn't I think of this!!

Sorry, don't mean to be flippant but seriously, most of us 'resort' to internet dating when all other methods of meeting people in real life have failed. I work in an almost all female environment with a very stable work force, there are rarely any new people joining us. I am a member of 3 badminton clubs and a running club, and I have done a lot of volunteering throughout my adult life although nothing regular at present.

At nearly 40 years old I have spent the last 20 or so years being told to get out more, meet more people, stop looking and you'll find someone when you least expect it.... all well meaning but not very helpful.

I have got to be proactive or I will spend the rest of my life alone. And while I know there are worse things in life and I'm not desperately unhappy as a single person (and it does have advantages as RichGold said in a previous post,) I believe I could be happier if I had someone to share my life with. I don't want to live alone for my whole life.

So, for now I'll go back to the drawing board and start again if I can find someone on the dating sites who looks interesting. Wish me luck!

Bes of luck lass

And agree on the last resort comment- I don't for one minute think any of us thought we would end up on them, but when going out and looking in the real, localish, world leads to a blank you resort to the next thing, and the next and then next and so on until you end up on one these sites.

I as well am far from unhappy, but I also want to share the up's and downs with someone, hopefully find the someone to have a family and all that with.

Of course you don't dive stright in with these things, but you keep the hope for it.

RichGold

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

....end up on one these sites.

I'm not on any of those sites. Not on facebook either. Suits me.

an9i77

I went on a few dating sites in my single days (two years ago apx) but never had much joy. I'm not very good at small talk at the best of times, and found it was just too hard to find someone to have a relationship with through this method. Interestingly, I was recently talking to some friends about whether they'd have got together with their OH if they'd met them on an internet date. The overwhelming verdict was no. I am pretty sure that if I had met my OH on an internet date we would not have got together (we met thru friends btw). We're both quite different people and he's very quiet, I'm sure we'd have ticked the 'not enough in common' box if we'd only had an hour or so (plus a few emails) to get to know each other. We still don't have loads in common but it doesn't seem to matter as we're living together with a child now! Anyway my point is, how can internet dating work if it isn't even likely to have worked for the couples who have got together (through other means). I understand how difficult it can be to meet people 'normally' (I was single for most of my 20s) but internet dating never worked for me, although I returned to it out of desperation periodically. Maybe it works for some people - it just seemed a bit like looking for a needle in a very giant, laborious haystack to me. Anyway best of luck to anyone going for it. I found guardian soulmates to be the least worst.

There_Goes_Trouble

It's not really working for me either to be honest, which is a shame since it is my 'last resort' option. I do need to get to know someone over a period of time, not just an hour or so in the pub.

Having said that, after an hour in the pub last night I was texting my friend (while he was at the bar, not in front of him!) to ask how early I could reasonably leave without seeming rude! There was nothing sinister about him, just some odd body language which made me feel very uncomfortable although I didn't feel threatened or anything like that. I just found him very slightly odd. The kind of person who, if I met him through 'normal' routes I would have been polite to, but wary of (probably unfounded but it was instinctive and my instincts have been right before, so now I take notice of them).

I don't know. Internet dating doesn't really suit me yet I don't meet people through 'normal' routes. What else is there? Eternal singledom I guess.

an9i77

There_Goes_Trouble wrote: »

It's not really working for me either to be honest, which is a shame since it is my 'last resort' option. I do need to get to know someone over a period of time, not just an hour or so in the pub.

Having said that, after an hour in the pub last night I was texting my friend (while he was at the bar, not in front of him!) to ask how early I could reasonably leave without seeming rude! There was nothing sinister about him, just some odd body language which made me feel very uncomfortable although I didn't feel threatened or anything like that. I just found him very slightly odd. The kind of person who, if I met him through 'normal' routes I would have been polite to, but wary of (probably unfounded but it was instinctive and my instincts have been right before, so now I take notice of them).

I don't know. Internet dating doesn't really suit me yet I don't meet people through 'normal' routes. What else is there? Eternal singledom I guess.

I feel your pain! Don't give up hope! I was the original terminally single person and I'd pretty much given up all hope of ever finding anyone, then I randomly met my OH at a new years party two years ago, we hit it off and continued the new year celebrations until Jan 3rd, now we are living together and have a little boy! I can't suggest any practical ways to meet people as I'm sure you've considered them all already, but don't do internet dating if you don't like it as you will soon feel jaded with it and that may come accross to your dates. But just wanted to let you know - I had given up all hope - and then I met someone. So it can happen.

There_Goes_Trouble

Thanks. I know it can happen because I see it happening around me all the time. It just never happens to me I don't ever get any kind of luck. (I'm that person who's been buying lotto tickets since the day it started and have never won a penny - why do I still keep buying? Because I know people who have won....)

But I appreciate your post.

Ladyhawk

There Goes Trouble I'm in exactly the same position and am fed up with people saying "it always happens when you least expect it" andof all the people who are so judgmental about internet dating... as if we are the last of the social lepers to have to stoop so low to try it. Stop being so smug because you never know when you might find yourself by your self again through no fault of your own. Why should we be ashamed to try internet dating? Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Just like sometimes volunteering or joining a sports club works and sometimes it doesn't.

sorry - rant over.

coin_operated_girl

I've recently come out of a long term relationship, jumped straight into another and now I'm single again so I'm not really looking for a relationship right now (I think it will be healthy for me to be single for a while), but after reading this thread I decided to join plenty of fish- just out of curiosity really. I live in a city where I don't know anyone and I wont meet people through work so I think I'm going to have to resort to internet dating at some point in my life, just like I've had to resort to using the internet to try and make friends (meetup.com). So far its been erm...interesting. I've had about 20 messages in an hour to the quality of "Wanna frndship may b more wha u say????". I think all but one of the people who have messaged me are only after one thing, so I can see why people find it disheartening... but when you have a face like mine its kinda flattering that someone thinks you are even mildly attractive haha. Having looked through some of the profiles I don't think most of the guys on there are really the type of person who I'm looking for (I'm fairly quiet, not that into clubbing/drinking), but I have read the odd profile that seems nice. I guess the type of guy I am looking for are the hardest to find in real life because they are likely to be at home.

I don't think there's anything wrong with internet dating, once you get stuck in your friendship groups and people start to pair off I think its very hard to find someone. It seems like there are a lot of weirdo's on POF, but there's loads of weirdo's in real life too, and just like joining a club or something has worked for some and not others, I guess internet dating will work for some and not others.

Although I'm kinda quiet I do love meeting new people, so I'm sort of looking forward to this whole internet dating thing...when I'm ready.