My son is scared of EVERYTHING!

victory

How are you today, have you managed to see the solicitor yet?

cattie1

Yes he is sending a letter saying DS2 must be sent back to my care immediatley(sp)
If he (ex) doesn't send him back we go for some "insert legal jargon" order here, if he does send him back we still go for residency order.

Ds2 came home for 1 night last night, ds1 was so happy and wasn't scared and I didn't have to lie with him at bedtime, it was lovely.
He loved silly billy book and so did Ds2 and the worry dolls.
They were both really happy with dream catcher too, thank you so much for all of your help.

DizzyDizzy

That must be a huge relief to have them back under the same roof again. I'm so glad for you.

He will surely try something else / again? Keep up the fight.

Best wishes

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, my son was diagnosed with anxiety a couple of years ago, he is a bit older than yours and his anxiety is related to a medical condition but you need to keep a close eye on your boy and dont be afraid to ask your GP if you think its really affecting him. Sadly more children suffer with anxiety and/or depression than ever before and it can often go undiagnosed.

Some tips that our psychologist gave us that may help:

Acknowledge his fears by saying you can understand why he feels like he does and you are there to help. Some people might dismiss his fears and say he is being silly but this just makes it worse.

Let him feel like he can talk to you and say anything he feels that he needs to get off his chest. Even if he says something that upsets you try to stay calm and not show any emotion (my son sometimes tells me he wants to die but I know that him being able to tell me this is important).

Set aside some time in the day to let him offload his feelings and try not to make it just before bed.

Give him lots and lots of reassurance and love. He needs to know that no matter how bad his worries are it doesnt make him a bad person and you will never stop loving him.

Dont expect him to be able to explain how he feels and dont put pressure on him to explain why something is scary. My son is nearly 13 and still cant articulate his feelings.

All this can be draining for you and on top of everything else that you are coping with I really feel for you. I know nothing about the legal stuff but it sounds like you have got some good advice on here so I hope that helps.

I really do wish you the best of luck with it.

TheEffect

As I expected!

meritaten

TheEffect wrote: »

I'm going to get absolutely destroyed for this post, and I haven't read all of this thread so ignore me if I've missed something but...


Your son is living with your ex (his father) and you know the father is emotionally/mentally having a negative impact on him?

You're his MOTHER, get in your car and go and get him, otherwise you're as bad as the father who is inflicting this on your son!

Please try reading ALL the posts TheEffect! then you wont end up looking such a prat!

Gigervamp

Don't you just love those posters who say "I haven't read all of the thread, but.." <rolls eyes>

OP, I hope you're able to get your other son back. It must be so hard for them both, to be separated from not only their mother, but their sibling.

What your OH is doing is dispicable. He's doing it for himself and not his children.

Please keep us updated.

cattie1

"The effect" you have now deleted the post, but I can see where you are coming form, however you hadn't actually read the posts to see why I haven't gone in guns blazin, firstly and most importantly it would distress the children, secondly, the were legal reasons, thirdly, I went for advice.

He received solicitors letter today (along with a one from the CSA telling him he new amount he must pay!) so as you can imagine I had a few phonecalls of abuse, when I went to pick boys up, he wouldn't even let me see DS2, but sent DS1 home, (upset asking "why I had got the soliciotr onto Dad?" -I try to keep it all away from the childrens knowledge!). it's ok though as solicitor said this would work in my favour.
So back I will go on Monday for emergency residency order.

vroombroom

ds2 is the worrier? is he still there with his father? and he wouldnt let you see him?? and you left him there? have I read that right?

Jesswithwings

vroombroom wrote: »

ds2 is the worrier? is he still there with his father? and he wouldnt let you see him?? and you left him there? have I read that right?

I thought OP lived with DS1 who was the worrier, and DS2 is with EXDH .. may be wrong.

Wishing you all the best OP, sounds like an awful situation to be in. Big hugs for you and your little dudes x