Dealing with pre-teen step daughter

mumps

Carl31 wrote: »

Good job theres people like you to view things in such a way to keep your friend in work then, ever thought about writing for the daily mail?

I never said anything about watching them have baths or anything about getting undressed

Well you said, "its just today im doing all 4 in one go, and it was easier to do 2 and 2 in the bath" which sounds like you bathing them. I don't think I am the only one who read it like that. Do they normally have a bath without undressing? It is a good job there are people like my friend keeping kids safe.

Person_one

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Actually i lie, i looked though their drawers once, and saw condoms. That was enough to scar me for life! :eek:

I had a rummage once looking for tampons, found a load of our baby teeth! Shattered my illusions about the tooth fairy, very traumatic day.

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

I had a rummage once looking for tampons, found a load of our baby teeth! Shattered my illusions about the tooth fairy, very traumatic day.

That would be traumatic, the tooth fairy was a favourite with me.

System

Person_one wrote: »

I had a rummage once looking for tampons, found a load of our baby teeth! Shattered my illusions about the tooth fairy, very traumatic day.

What was the going rate for teeth for you? i got £1 per tooth! Pretty lucrative when i was losing my milk teeth!

lostinrates

Carl31 wrote: »

Yes that is unfair ,there has been a lot of constructive response which i am grateful for, i had just been replying to someone suggesting there was something untoward going on in my house

In your OP you also mentioned puching your step daughter in frustration. I wonder, with no disrespect intended, if perhaps you might benefit from some help with frustration/anger managment? Though not pleasant accusation, a post on the internet shouldn't be significant enough to make you snap at someone else....I do note you retract and apologise, which is admirable But I wonder if perhaps you might be unwittingly making things worse ..on yourself as well as family...with failing to deal with frustration in the best manner?

mumps

Carl31 wrote: »

Yes that is unfair ,there has been a lot of constructive response which i am grateful for, i had just been replying to someone suggesting there was something untoward going on in my house

To be fair I didn't say something untoward was going on I said it could sound like that. I think you need to think how it would sound because if you and step daughter have had a difficult evening and she goes into school a bit upset and a teacher questions her it could cause problems.

I used to work with someone who had a daughter a bit older (think she was about 12) and she had a row with step father (I can't remember what about) and she was a bit moody at school the next day and when she was asked what was wrong she explained it from her point of view and her mother was sent for and I think social services were involved. Her mother was livid but as the school said they have to be concerned for the childs safety. In that case it was all resolved in the end but was uncomfortable for the family for a while. My friend (the social worker) talked to the mother about it when we were at work so I know how she would deal with it.

mumps

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

What was the going rate for teeth for you? i got £1 per tooth! Pretty lucrative when i was losing my milk teeth!

I told my kids the tooth fairy paid more if the tooth was in good condition, really motivated them with dental hygiene.

blue_haddock

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Actually i lie, i looked though their drawers once, and saw condoms. That was enough to scar me for life! :eek:

Just imagine if you found a rampant rabbit, a butt plug and a whip in htere instead!

littlerat

OP, how old is your daughter? Ive seen people saying about a 10 year old, but I've not seen any post where you've said it...

If she is 10, or moreso if she's 11 or 12.... Something she may not tell her Dad (or step dad) about, would cause her to want a shower instead of a bath and would be overly worried about someone seeing her naked.. OP is it possible your step daughter is having periods? I sure as hell wouldn't want a bath when I'm on one! Sorry, just sounds like that could be what's going on to me...

Either way I agree though, I was about 6 or 7 when I started doing it all alone and without help (and only that late as I had very long hair and couldn't wash it by myself!).


The whole pushing her issue.. yes not ideal, no arguments, but most parents make mistakes, a once off incident (and of pushing, not hitting her!) I'd not consider overly concerning to be honest.

As to her behaviour - welcome to having a teenage daughter

purple.sarah

Try telling her mother that you are struggling and about what happened. As some other posters have said it would sound worse coming from her, so it's better to be upfront. Her mother might have more advice on how to deal with the daughter and she should be aware of the issues.