9 yr about to be excluded again :(

alba37

Hi Carrera,

I was really pleased to read your update. Stick in there.. you're doing great!

I have everything crossed for Tuesday also and wish you the very best.

Take care and let us know how it goes.

A x

plumduff-2

Hi C....

Things seem to be moving at last - slowly... but getting there.. You stick with it... You should be proud of oyurself... You have got some great advice on here about next moves etc... Keep your chin up...

PD.. xxx

jediteacher

Dear Carrera,

I've just read this post and had to offer you my heartfelt sympathy. I'm a primary school teacher and a mother myself and have experience of children who portray your son's behaviour.
I hope that the education psychologist offers you some good support. I'm pleased that the school is also trying very hard to help you. From a school point of view it is very hard to justify allowing one child to behaviour poorly and yet expecting all the others to conform. At school I have 35 children in my class and I have to consider the welfare of ALL the children. This does not mean that I don't cater for individual children's needs. I have two children in my class who suffer from Asperger's Syndrome and one with ADHD.
From what you've written it does sound like your little boy has ADHD. A typical sign that children with this are about to play up are silly noises or you just see a look come across their face and you just know that they're gong to do something.
I really hope that you can get the help and support you need. Have you been to your doctor? You can also call in the school nurse to help. The problem is that statements are being phased out of schools and schools have to support children in other ways.

I wish you all the best.

AM

alm721

Have also just read this and just wanted to offer my sympathies, certainly sounds like the school are just not in a poistion to deal with the situation. I would certainly push your GP, ed psych or anyone who may be able to help to investigate the possibility of ASD as you son certainly sounds as if he has these characterisitcs. My brother had similar problems in primary school and was statemented and changed to a special school by the age of around 9. It was the best thing we ever did for him. He went from being in a class of 30 to a class of 12 with a teacher and 2 excellent teaching assisstants. This was despite my mum feeling very negative about it initally. My mum is a teacher and both myself and my other brother had no probs at school and I think she always felt like she must be doing something wrong with my youngest brother. Funnily enough he was never given a dx of ASD when younger he was just defined as having global learning/behavioural difficulties, he was also diagnosed with dsypraxia. He similarly was much worse at his primary school then he was at home although I believe this would be very common as at home there was always a much lower child to adult ratio and he therefore got much more attention then he ever could at school.
He was always much better at special school then he ever was in mainstream however he still always has had problems. His diagnosis of Aspergers has actually only been made in the last year at the age of 21!
He is now away at a special college were he stays during the week and they said they thought he was definitly aspergers within a few weeks of him being there. My mum and I have always supected he was on the autistic scale however he was never dx when younger because he would look you in the eye( although often with a bit of a glaze) and didn't necessarily display all signs of having ASD, however not all children do and the whole point of ASD is that it is a spectrum not an absoloute so one child with ASD may behave very differently to another, therefore I would not necessarily accept the psychologists view that because he looked her in the eye he does not have ASD.
I hope you get some suport here. Trying to navigate the special needs route for kids is not easy. There is notorious underfunding, ed pschys are few and far between and we have learnt from experience that sometimes you have to be very pushy to get anywhere. I certainly think that one of the first steps should be in pushing for a statment as this will provide more support whatever schooling situation your son is in.
And with regards to the ex, he sounds like a complete s*** and I would have no qualms at all about refusing contact as it clearly does not appear to be in your sons best interests. You may find this in itself helps settle him if he is on the autistic scale as one thing that autistic children really find it hard to deal with is a change in circumstances. They need things to be structured and in order and can throw a total wobbler if things don't happen as they expect them to.
Anyway must go to sleep now. Hope things are ok
regards Andrea

alba37

Thanks for your reply for Carrera. I agree the spectrum of Autism is such a wide one, it cannot be easy getting a diagnoses for many children. The whole lack of help & support horrifies me.

I have no idea how common aspergers/autism is, but it certainly seems to be becoming more and more common. Andrea, I wanted to ask where you are in the UK? Or actually where is the college your brother attends?

I have grown up with my cousin, who is autistic. (I have been his main carer for 7 years now, since my aunt died as we have no other family on that side) He is older than me, he’s 55. So it is a disorder I have always been aware of. I can’t remember coming across anyone one else with autism till around 15 years ago and now have another cousin & my best friends son who are diagnosed autistic. I also know some others, but am not as close to them, I don’t see them often. What I wanted to say, is each and everyone is very different.

I am unsure if Carerra’s son has aspergers, but it has to be ruled out. Whatever is bothering him and causing his behaviour is also causing great stress on them both. (never mind the big s*** that is still lurking in the background!!!) Carrera, how is your GP, is he/she helpful or supportive?

Hope things aren’t too bad just now.

Thinking of you.

A

alm721

Hi alba, We are in East Yorkshire, my brother is currently at college in wakefield. It s part of the camp hill community. They are fantastic with my brother, he can be very awkard. We did have a job to get him a place and had to appeal but got there in the end. You can do a search on the net for them.
Andrea

alba37

Thanks Alm. I was asking as my friend's son is 14 and no one seems to want to discuss his future & she is quite concerned about it. Reading your post made me feel that maybe it will be better than she is expecting. We are in Glasgow, but I will certainly let he know. Thanks again.

A

andyrules

Hi Carrerra

just a word of support for ed pysche's report and for pru. Let us know.

Carrera74

Just contacted CAMHS to update them re the edpsych and my contact kindly advised that school have contacted them as ‘dad’ wants to know if he can pay for a private assessment. That man is a complete idiot. What a stupid stupid man. He doesn’t pay maintenance, doesn’t bother turning up for important meetings yet thinks he can get his wallet out when it suits. I’m waiting for a call from school so they can explain why I have only found this out by chance. I’m not a happy bunny. Grrrr

And the medical/psychological assessment by CAMHS is on hold until the PRU meet and the outcome of the educational report.

Today I started my healthy eating/no drinking during the week. I can feel the willpower disappearing!

plumduff-2

Im not surprised, but you hold on girl..!