9 yr about to be excluded again :(

plumduff-2

Oh, and thats ignoring that fact that YOU took him to court over domestic violence... so hopefully he will have a record of abusing those weaker than him...

Carrera74

plumduff-2 wrote:

Oh, and thats ignoring that fact that YOU took him to court over domestic violence... so hopefully he will have a record of abusing those weaker than him...

Yep he got guilty on 4 counts of assault. These were the last 4 times he hit me and the kids were in hearing range on all occasions

Worst thing is. I've got 'me' back but he still scares the hell out of me. He texted me on Saturday asking for access again and I had palpitations! Silly eh.

You know just spelling it out on a forum makes me read it out and makes me realise I'm not a meany Mum for stopping access. He's just not a fit Dad.

Thanks.

plumduff-2

Precisely.... You are the sole person responsible for your kids and their upbringing...

Next time dont answer the phone to him, if you do, tell him the line is breaking up.."what, cant hear you... your breaking up".... or just tell him to eff off...!

You have to do what you feel is right for your son.... whether this is maintaining contact or if it means stopping it...

plumduff-2

BTW - you know what carrera... I hate your ex soo much, I wish he lived near me so I could poke him in the eyes with a rusty fork...!

andycarmi

Carrera74 wrote:

.

You know just spelling it out on a forum makes me read it out and makes me realise I'm not a meany Mum for stopping access. He's just not a fit Dad.

Thanks.

Your a great Mum, You got away from the DV which is so hard well done:T

Carrera74

Well it's the Pupil Discipline Committee of the Governing Body meeting tomorrow at school. I've received the Headteachers report on what happened that day. She has only put from the incident in class - not that he was on edge as soon as he got in. It's not a nice read He is a very angry violent little boy and when he loses it, it's scary.

He doesn't go back to school until 12 March and I'm still waiting for the CAMHS appointment and the Edpsych appointment too. I'm surprised I don't have blisters from the phone to my ear all the time!

He's been absolutely fine (most of the time) whilst he is off school. Although he struggles and gets frustrated when trying to do the work they have set him. I'm wondering if this is another trigger in class - school think he's fine with his learning, I'm not so sure.

It's wierd that it's so calm at home at the moment. Obviously none of us are anxious about school so I better make the most of it before he goes back!!!

Zara33

Again Carrera74 i just want to wish you luck, i'm reading your story from the sideline.

Carrera74

Thanks Zara

Just spoken to the Head and his Edpsych appointment is next Thursday!!! She's coming to my house. She'll speak to me, my son and the SENCO.

I hope she comes up with something!!!!!

Carrera74

I have the meeting tomorrow and have been reading up on my rights to give a representation. As far as I understand the meeting is just to either agree or disagree with the Heads decision to exclude. I have read that

"Current statutory guidance says that your child should only have been excluded:

* in response to serious breaches of the school’s behaviour policy and
*if allowing him or her to remain in school would seriously harm the education and welfare of the pupil or others in the school "

Well I agree with the guidance that they were right to exclude him but I am worried that if they uphold the Heads decision the next time he is excluded that it will be over the 45 days and therefore permanent

Is it worth saying anything at the meeting?

loopylass

Hi
I just want to wish you well with your son i have been in a similar position children seeing ex their father abusive bruises etc i really feel for you my eldest child was 4 at the time and when we split up he took his anger out on me ex made out he loved kids wanted to see them etc etc anyway to cut a long story short i gave him a chance to see the kids(a year of letting his children down saying he will come when he dont) i got fed up with it so went to the family courts and stopped access best thing i ever did he never paid for their up keep and it was all for show making out he wanted to be a dad

but anyway 13 years later my eldest is 18 and he goes to college and never mentions his dad he calls his step dad "dad" so does his brother although my other son with ex was a baby when he left he has anger issues i dont think thats because of ex as he was only 1 when he stopped seeing him
He has never been excluded from school but gets detentions but he knows if he gets one he gets a 24 hour ban from going out/psp etc we tried a longer ban it didnt work because he was forever banned and all of my children (apart from the eldest) gets 3 chances(warnings) to behave if they get the third in a day its a 24 hour ban and they get a % of their pocket money stopped

His 14 but ive been doing this for 2 years and its helped he used to be a lot worse and if his on his own he will calm down but like you said he can be a loving child and so can mine just hang in there your doing the right thing

As for your ex its disgusting everytime your little man goes there and comes back and say his been hit etc ring the police they will log every complaint he cant behave like this he needs to be stopped
All the best
take care