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9 yr about to be excluded again :(
Comments
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Hi C,
Great news about your son, glad to hear things have progressed and the little chap seems happier and more secure..
Also good news about getting the ex-OH banned from the meetings.. does the Head know about the DV against you and your son.. You have evidence of this so if needs be show it to them..
Take care, pd... xHi - im a member of the Debt Help UK FORUM...0 -
My little guy has come home from school today with a note in his 3 way diary to say that he refused to take part properly in the music lesson and was asked to go to the peace place. He refused and he was taken there by the staff. He stayed there for the majority of the day - he even refused to leave to go for lunch. He joined in with Science later in the day. I've sat with him and he explained what had happened and he seems so sad and he's feel so unconfident. He's told me he's stupid
I've praised him for being open with me and explained he should have been open with his teachers - he never spoke to them about feeling stupid in music. I guess he just went on shut down as he usually did at mainstream school. I asked him if he had lashed out at anybody and he told me he had - this wasn't put in the diary so I wouldn't have known about it if he hadn't told me. I'm really upset that he was physically taken to the peace room. I can imagine how upset he would have been. And obviously I feel for the teacher that he hit too
I was worried that he was behaving too well and now I feel rotten that he's had a bad day but I know he is at the best place and they will see how he reacted and be able to deal with it much better than mainstream school. He's told me hates the school now, he loved it until today! And said he isn't going tomorrow or ever again. I'm keeping calm and talking about his science project that they are doing which is keeping him mind of those thoughts. He's also done his homework so I'm hoping he'll forget about being stubborn in the morning.
Oh what I would do for a happy little boy all day, every day0 -
My little guy has come home from school today with a note in his 3 way diary to say that he refused to take part properly in the music lesson and was asked to go to the peace place. He refused and he was taken there by the staff. He stayed there for the majority of the day - he even refused to leave to go for lunch. He joined in with Science later in the day. I've sat with him and he explained what had happened and he seems so sad and he's feel so unconfident. He's told me he's stupid
I've praised him for being open with me and explained he should have been open with his teachers - he never spoke to them about feeling stupid in music. I guess he just went on shut down as he usually did at mainstream school. I asked him if he had lashed out at anybody and he told me he had - this wasn't put in the diary so I wouldn't have known about it if he hadn't told me. I'm really upset that he was physically taken to the peace room. I can imagine how upset he would have been. And obviously I feel for the teacher that he hit too
I was worried that he was behaving too well and now I feel rotten that he's had a bad day but I know he is at the best place and they will see how he reacted and be able to deal with it much better than mainstream school. He's told me hates the school now, he loved it until today! And said he isn't going tomorrow or ever again. I'm keeping calm and talking about his science project that they are doing which is keeping him mind of those thoughts. He's also done his homework so I'm hoping he'll forget about being stubborn in the morning.
Oh what I would do for a happy little boy all day, every day
Fingers crossed he feels more postive in the morning carrera74.0 -
I know thanks isn't really the most appropriate response, I think that would supportive hugs, but thank you for letting us know how he's getting on, and now you know you don't need to be worried that they'll think there's no problem!
So do you think he refused to go to music because he's always felt 'stupid' about music? It must be hard to tell almost complete strangers these things - heck, he did really well to tell you, didn't he?
Of course the other thing about music is that it's noisy, isn't it? Maybe he finds that very disturbing / disorienting? Even though most people find music enjoyable, I know DS1 doesn't - when Radio 4 went on strike when he was little he BEGGED me not to listen to Radio 3! And I'm sure that one of the reasons he hated coming to church with us was the almost universal belief that ALL children like happy clappy action songs, so we should always have lots of them 'for the children' before they go out to their groups.
Is noise a significant factor in his previous shutdowns, I wonder?
And what wouldn't we ALL do for happy children, all day, every day, but I've yet to meet a parent with one of those!Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
I've been reading your thread and just wanted to add a link to a really informative newsletter from an australian site about food intolerances that may be of interest to you, it's been invaluable to me.
http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/newsletters/FAILsaf52.html
I don't have kids and know nothing about all the wonderful advice that other have given you and desperately hope that you can find peace with your little one.
What I do know from personal experience is behavioural problems caused by food intolerance, which may, or may not, be contributing to your situation, especially as what is considered 'eating healthy' can exacerbate the problem depending upon the particular sensitivity.
HTH
Jill0 -
How did he get on today?I THINK is a whole sentence, not a replacement for I KnowSupermarket Rebel No 19:T0
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Well Wednesday morning he got up, got his uniform on and was all set to go until the taxi pulled up and he refused to go. I rang the school and explained and they said they thought this might happen - it's his way of being in control after the events on Tuesday. They said the best thing I could do for him was if I had transport and someone to help me to take him. I explained that he was adamant he wasn't going to school and he would be kicking and screaming and the Deputy Head said not to worry, that's what they're paid to deal with!! and to take him asap. They also said if I kept him off it would undo all the work they did when he went to the Peace Room and no doubt he'd refuse again the day after. My OH came home from work and I said to my little man that he was going to school and he had 2 choices - he either gets in the car himself or we'll physically take him. We gave him 5 mins to think it through then gave him the choice. Counted to 3 and my OH picked up and put him in the back of the car. It was awful. He was kicking, swearing, spitting, punching my OH who sat in the back with him. It was wierd as it's usually directed at me (I was driving). I could see that he was upping the violence in an attempt to gain control. He even bit my OH. At one point I looked in the mirror and he looked like he was trying to take chunks out of his arms!!! As we pulled up at the school he said he was going to be sick and then tried to make himself sick. I rang the bell and 5/6 staff came out to greet us. They opened the door and he punched out at them too and they restrained him and took him to the peace room. As he was going through the door he shouted 'i want my mummy'. It broke my heart in two
It felt like I was torturing him not helping but the staff said it was very usual and we had done the right thing. They rang me at lunchtime and said he came out of the peace room just under an hour later on his own accord and the rest of the day he was fine.
He got up this morning and off he went and the comments in his book today was along the lines of he's had a fantastic day and he was a pleasure to have in class!!!
I still feel evil though for physically taking him to school yesterday. I think he is so used to being excluded when he kicks off that it must have been a shock to his system!!0 -
So do you think he refused to go to music because he's always felt 'stupid' about music? It must be hard to tell almost complete strangers these things - heck, he did really well to tell you, didn't he?
Believe it or not he hates people looking at him and I think that's why he stopped taking part in the lesson. They were mimicking expressions and he hates doing anything that makes him look 'silly'.0 -
:T :T Well done Carrera you should be so proud of yourself!You coped really well
Its so hard as a mum to not feel guilty ALL the time when you are going through this but you are doing brilliantly hun honest!!! Its often heartbreaking leaving them while they are in a state but so often as soon as we leave they are fine!! ( We just get the dubious pleasure of feeling like a pile of pooh and worrying for the rest of the day..:rolleyes: ) I don't often get time to post on your thread but am always following it to see how you are getting on and I hope you continue to make good progress D XX
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I feel really sorry for the OP but as a teacher I also see things from the school's point of view. Having taught classes in the past with individuals such as this boy in them I know just how disruptive and traumatic it can be for his classmates and how frustrating it can make the class teacher's job.
In the dim and distant past I worked at a school in London and we had a Special school right next door. One of my pupils Shane was referred there for a hell of a lot less than this boy has been doing. It changed him. He was in a class of 5 with a teacher and TA. He was later able to re-integrate into mainstream.
Some of the people supporting the OP have been very sympathetic and rightly so but those who have children should never underestimate the damage that such children can have on the education of their classmates.
The govt has closed a lot of Special schools and IMO it was a huge mistake. I don't believe in inclusion because I don't feel it is right that the welfare of 29 children is harmed at the expense of 1. It will be an unpopular view probably but nevertheless it is what I personally believe.
Some people have mentioned statements. In my experience they take years to come through and usually arrive just before the child leaves for secondary school!
PRU too - you know they can only attend for a couple of terms? That's not per year that's 2 terms out of their whole Primary school career. So if he goes now and they don't sort him out he can't go again!
We're teachers not social workers.
Another small rant while I'm at it. Bloody rainbow rooms for the naughty kids - what do the good kids get? That's what I'd like to know. It is just plain wrong. At the PRU they go swimming, quad biking and horse riding. Great! if you're violent and you kick off enough we'll let you do fun things while your poor old classmates are slaving away.
What about when teachers/teaching assistants are punched and kicked and bitten (not me ever - I'd quit if that happened to me) If we worked for the council it wold be an offence to swear and kick off and be violent towards us (and the perpetrator would be banned from the site!) but school staff can just put up with it! Why is that exactly?Don't grow up. Its a trap!
Peace, love and labradors!0
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