9 yr about to be excluded again :(

Savvy_Sue

Honeydog, I agree with much of what you say! While I understand the principles of integrating children with disabilities and special needs into mainstream school, I really can't see why we expect ALL children to be able to cope with it, and I don't think it best serves ALL pupils, certainly not those without behavioural problems, nor even those who will always need support for physical limitations such as limited sight or hearing!

We do sometimes have threads about children whose education is being disrupted by others, and we are also extremely supportive of their parents!

Carrera, I do hope your son continues to benefit from the unit, and learn strategies for coping. After all, he may not like being looked at, but he does have to learn how to deal with it before he becomes a strapping teenager getting himself into fights!

Carrera74

Honeydog wrote: »

I feel really sorry for the OP but as a teacher I also see things from the school's point of view. Having taught classes in the past with individuals such as this boy in them I know just how disruptive and traumatic it can be for his classmates and how frustrating it can make the class teacher's job.

I am aware of this also. I didn't ask my little boy to be this way and I have certainly done everything I can, well I think I have, to help him. Unfortunately he needed help from outside agencies and the mainstream school admitted and the LEA that the only way this could be accessed was if he continued to go to school and continued to act out the way he does so that he would have lots of exclusions and then the PRU would look at his case.

In the dim and distant past I worked at a school in London and we had a Special school right next door. One of my pupils Shane was referred there for a hell of a lot less than this boy has been doing. It changed him. He was in a class of 5 with a teacher and TA. He was later able to re-integrate into mainstream.

This is what I am aiming for. He enjoyed school up until year 4 and I hope that he can be reintegrated back for his last year at primary school.

Some of the people supporting the OP have been very sympathetic and rightly so but those who have children should never underestimate the damage that such children can have on the education of their classmates.

I am sorry that his classmates have had to put up with what they have but again the only way we could the help we needed was for him to continue going to mainstream school and getting himself excluded.

PRU too - you know they can only attend for a couple of terms? That's not per year that's 2 terms out of their whole Primary school career. So if he goes now and they don't sort him out he can't go again!

He is going for 1 term and he can go for 2 if need be. Although there are cases were children stay til the end of year 6 and then get reintegrated to high school although I think these may be children that are going to a 'special school'.

Another small rant while I'm at it. Bloody rainbow rooms for the naughty kids - what do the good kids get? That's what I'd like to know. It is just plain wrong. At the PRU they go swimming, quad biking and horse riding. Great! if you're violent and you kick off enough we'll let you do fun things while your poor old classmates are slaving away.

My son gets a free lesson at the end of the day. He can do a fun activity such as lego, basketball, baking. He only gets to do this if he has done the full days set work and if he doesn't finish it he then spends the last half an hour catching up. It's not about him kicking off and getting to do fun things. I don't think he enjoyed being taken to the peace room physically against his will and he certainly wasn't given something nice to do because of it.

What about when teachers/teaching assistants are punched and kicked and bitten (not me ever - I'd quit if that happened to me) If we worked for the council it wold be an offence to swear and kick off and be violent towards us (and the perpetrator would be banned from the site!) but school staff can just put up with it! Why is that exactly?

My little boy has hit his class teacher when they tried to restrain him from going into his class. It made me feel sick. I don't want an angry violent child. I want help for him. I understand where you're coming from and mainstream school couldn't help him but they certainly supported us and the school SENCO guided us as to how to get the help. It's terrible that my son, my son's classmates, teachers and my family have had to go through all this at mainstream school to get the help we need.

Carrera74

Carrera, I do hope your son continues to benefit from the unit, and learn strategies for coping. After all, he may not like being looked at, but he does have to learn how to deal with it before he becomes a strapping teenager getting himself into fights!

Yes and I hope that we manage to find strategies for him in time for high school. The last thing I want is for this to continue into high school

Carrera74

Psykicpup wrote: »

How did he get on today?

I missed this. Yesterday he got up and went in the taxi no problem. He got home and happily told me about his day in great detail which made a lovely change. His teacher's comment in the diary said he had had a lovely day and had been a pleasure to have in class!

He's gone this morning with a big smile on his face too

seven-day-weekend

Do they have anger management classes for nine-year-olds?

I mean, it's great that he has a 'quiet room' to go to, but surely he needs to learn how to cope with his anger when he 'feels silly' in music, instead of just kicking off and then being removed. Is anyone teaching him this?

Don't get me wrong - myself and my son both used to 'feel silly' in music too. I know what it's like - not every child likes doing silly actions. And I do understand what it is like to have a difficult child - I have been in tears on numerous occasions when my son was at school (although he had different problems to your son), and it's only been since he's grown up that we have realised (him included) that he almost certainly has Aspergers Syndrome.

Carrera74

For the first 4 weeks of attending the PRU they are going to assess him. Anger management and play therapy have both been mentioned. He definately needs the anger management!!! I sat down with him last night and said I felt the same when I used to do PE and drama but I just thought about everyone else doing it and got on with it and the more you get involved the less silly you feel. He seemed to take it in but we'll see next week! He shuts down when he feels anxious so the teachers didn't know he felt silly - something else we need to work on.

spidab

I havent read all of this post, but he sounds EXACTLY like my 11 year old. He has ADHD ODD and OCD the school are VERY unsupportive and he has only just got an IEP despite being there for 14 months. You do find yourself banging your head against a brick wall because there is very little inthe way of support for adolesent mental health services. My main concern at the moment is he is due to go to comprehensive school in September and I just know I am going to have to fight to get him the support he needs. I hope you get the help and support you need my advice to you is dont give up.

Psykicpup

Carrera74 wrote: »

I missed this. Yesterday he got up and went in the taxi no problem. He got home and happily told me about his day in great detail which made a lovely change. His teacher's comment in the diary said he had had a lovely day and had been a pleasure to have in class!

He's gone this morning with a big smile on his face too

My son went to the pru too & they were great - so glad he went off happily & i notice that after the false start the day before he was able to join in again so soon after & thats great news too.

Carrera74

I had my son's educational review last week and it was a positive meeting He has come on really well. The different environment at school is not only helping him with his learning it's also helping him at home. The school said he is a very bright little boy but have asked CAMHS to do a full assessment as the way he is suggests Aspergers. He will stay at the short stay school for another term and we'll do another review in October to see where we're at. It'll be the same time we put his name down for High School so the sooner these assessments are done the better. School have commented that the way they are dealing with him at school is the same way they would act with a child with Aspergers and it has certainly helped. They are doing anger management with him too and it's really noticeable. He is actually starting to take responsibility for his own actions and is beginning to realise his feelings - what a change round! He's also coming home every day and is full of beans about what he has done that day. It feels like I've got a new son! I'm so proud of him and I can tell he is so much happier in himself. I can't sing the praises of the short stay school enough. I wish all schools were like that!

I spoke to CAMHS today and I am going in to see them next week to sign the forms for the assessments. Our Support Worker said we're in for a long road but I'm happy we're on the right one and I don't have to worry about him going into mainstream until later in the year. He's not stressed and neither are the rest of us :T

He's also started going to see his Dad again. Only once a week - he doesn't want to sleep there and is happy for a full days visit. It's going okay but it's only been 5 weeks so we'll see.

Carrera74

Well we're still waiting for the CAMHS assessments to be done but in the meantime mainstream school have applied for a statement to be done. I have received the lovely application form but I am a bit stuck. Do I fill this in how my son is now - relaxed and happy and enjoying school or do I fill it in how he is at mainstream school - anxious, depressed and angry. The environment he is in at the moment is helping but it's hard to know what to do. Eek....