9 yr about to be excluded again :(

plumduff-2

Ha ha... never know how to put it when we was going through it...

Hate 'problem children', 'troubled children' so it will have to be 'issues' unless you can up with something better...

andyrules

Hi Carrera, what is your SENCO at current school like? tbh, from what you've said, it does sound like they could be doing more, and more quickly too. Sadly, some schools seem to be much more understanding and on the ball with any SEN issue, not just behaviour. Therefore it would be worth investigating as another school with better SEN input may get you help earlier and may be able to offer you more support.

Just an example - friend battled with (good reputation) primary school all her son's time there to get him some help as he had behavioural 'issues', but they passed it off as his bad behaviour, and her being bad mother (! -she's one of the best). Soon as he went up to secondary, they diagnosed autism and he got support in place.

This must seem never ending to you. Interesting what you said about his puppet making, does he like quiet, hands on activities? Could you pursue that, art classes maybe?

Take care
xx

ruthyjo

Hi - I've been keeping up with your thread and let me say how desperately sorry I feel for you. My son had behaviour issues all the way through first school and it was very very hard. He had many soft exclusions (i.e. the school gave me the option of taking him away voluntarily), but was never formally excluded.

I just wanted to say don't let the current situation make you feel like a bad parent. It is very hard with the views that are aired in the media all the time about poor parenting, the reactions of other parents etc, but it's so clear from your thread that you are a great mother struggling in very adverse circumstances.

Throughout the miserable time my son had at school I always tried to support the school, agree with them etc. I was even a governor at the school. In retrospect I can see they made many mistakes. It's really hard to argue with them when you feel your child has put you in the wrong with his disruptive behaviour, but it's important that you fight to make sure they do the right thing for your little boy - hope you can find the strength to keep it up.

My son finally moved schools. I dreaded the pattern repeating at the new school and had many dire warnings from the head and staff at his old school that this was inevitable. However he has never been in any trouble or caused any trouble of any kind at the new school. We are all a million times happier. He's been at the new school since September and I still ask myself every day if the miracle change has really happened. For this reason I think it is worth at least considering changing to another local school if you get nowhere with the PRU.

plumduff-2

See this...

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/behaviour/exclusion/guidance/part1/

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/pdf/FreeBooklets/FixedPeriodExclusion.pdf

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/wholeschool/behaviour/collaboration/guidance/

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/behaviourimprovement/

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/exclusions/faq/index.cfm

http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/behaviouranddiscipline/behaviouranddisciplineinschool/

Carrera74

Thanks for those. That'll keep me busy for a while

plumduff-2

Like to keep you busy....

Savvy_Sue

Has anyone mentioned IPSEA yet? They may be able to help you.

Carrera74

My son went back to school last week after his exclusion. Monday/Tuesday half days which he coped with fine. Wednesday was his first full day back and he struggled towards the end of the day and Thursday/Friday he struggled again. He seems to be fine up until lunchtime but then goes downhill. On Thursday the class were building tents in the playground and he refused to do it and when he was finally coaxed outside his teacher said his attitude was ‘if I’m not doing it neither is anyone else’ and he ran about standing on the tents and knocking the pegs out trying to spoil everyone elses fun.

I rang school on Monday just gone to see how his day had gone and he had been disruptive again in class and refusing to do work in the first lesson and again in the afternoon. At one point he was stood on a table pretending to be a gorilla and then picked up wooden bricks and made a gun and then pretended to shoot people in the class! Yesterday he had a good morning but towards lunchtime the support teacher noticed he was started to get silly (he was making his usual silly noises) so she gave him a task to do in another room but then in the afternoon he was totally defiant and refused to do anything he was set. His version of events was that he had a good morning got a bit silly with his friend but then had a good afternoon. The SENCO rang me last night and told me what had been happening in class. She said he was very close to being excluded last week and that the Edpsych was coming in on Thursday and they are going to do a report to put forward to her and hopefully she’ll assess him in time for the next PRU panel date on 11 March.

Today I received a call from the SENCO asking me to go in tomorrow to sign the report and she said he had had a terrible morning and as there was a supply teacher in this afternoon he had been set tasks to do in the library with the support teacher who has been working with him. She wasn’t sure how he had been getting on but hoped he had improved from this morning. I put the phone down and 10 mins later had a call from his class teacher saying that she had had to take all the children out of the class as he was being disruptive and he was sat in the corner of the room like nothing had happened. When I got there my OH was there and my son was sat with his head between his knees sobbing and his hands over his ears. It only took me 10 mins to persuade him to leave – usually takes an hour.

I’ve come straight back to work so not been able to speak to him but the Headteacher has just rung me to say that she saw him this morning in the cloakroom and asked if he was looking for the support teacher and he ignored her so she went into her office and that his behaviour this afternoon – shouting out and throwing things – was a good enough reason for him to be excluded but he can go to school tomorrow but if it happens tomorrow he’ll be excluded and this time for 16 days.

I’m starting to feel numb and desperate again. It’s so hard work. I keep trying to think positive that we’re getting somewhere but I’m starting to wonder if perhaps I’ve just got a naughty little boy. He is the sweetest little thing at heart and when I chat to him he seems to take it in what I say about school and his chill out areas but then he does this. I’ve tried everything but feel like I’m getting nowhere

Sorry for the rant but I needed to get it out.

Savvy_Sue

Carrera, this sounds like more than just a naughty little boy.

So please don't blame yourself.

Have you been in touch with IPSEA? Independent Panel for Special Education Advice. I'm sure they will be able to advise you: your son needs an education appropriate to his needs, and if that can't be provided where he is, then it needs to be provided elsewhere.

Hugs.

andyrules

Hi Carrera
I've always thought there's more to this than naughtiness.

What's happening with the CAMHS and PRU? tbh, I really think this is beyond what a school can reasonably do for him, and it is making him stand out from his peers.

Does he have many friends? You mentioned one, is it someone he's close to? If he is distanced from his peers, then it must seem like a long day. Morning lessons tend to be structured and independent of other children, whilst afternoon lessons often involve paired or group work. Also, imagine lunchtimes if you are at odds with your surroundings. Has he become so alienated from his routine/class that he cannot cope? He sounds like he is very unhappy. What is he like at home? A couple of us mentioned autism earlier, has your SENCO ever considered it?

I'm just throwing around suggestions and thoughts, so if I'm way off I apologise.

Your life sounds like turmoil at the mo, but hang in there and keep supporting him. You will find a way.

xx