9 yr about to be excluded again :(

plumduff-2

One thing is to try to find some hobby he can do which will fuel his interest... with my 15 year old son - this was doing a course on motorbike maintainance... Unfortunately this was only given to us when he was in trouble with the police and had to go to YOT...

But maybe have a look round for something, which would challenge him mentally and wear him out physically...

Climbing walls...
Dry ski slopes
any vocational courses at local college esp for the weekend
Sports clubs
Boxing - may sound scary but it is disciplined - as are martial arts
Running clubs
Going to the gym (both of mine loved this)
Horse riding


Look on your council website for youth clubs and other stuff they have for 'youths'

Mine has DJ'ing classes amongst other things...

Just a few ideas

Carrera74

Guess who didn't turn up! He texted me obviously trying to wind me up last night and I fell for it and drank a bottle of wine and hardly slept. Got a call at 9am off the SENCO to say he wasn't coming!!!!!! We drove past him and he glared at us this morning. He can go to hell as far as I am concerned this mornings actions have spoke volumes not just to me but to the different agencies that attended too. I've got a solicitors appointment on Tuesday to see where I stand for definate on the parental responsibility front. Fingers crossed I don't have to involve him again.

The meeting seemed to go quite well. CAMHS are going to refer him for medical/psychological assessment. They said that it is quite common for children who have witnessed trauma in their early growing up years to act this way. All those years I thought it wasn't affecting him, poor little love They are going to send the minutes to the ex OH so no doubt he'll love that comment. Ah well. Tough.

It's the panel meeting at the short stay school today and they will discuss his case. Fingers crossed he'll get a place.

He's back at school on Monday and think only half days at first and perhaps just until playtime for the first few days. The longer we can keep him in school and out of the negative excluding bit the better.

So that’s that. I was so nervous this morning before the meeting because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to speak openly as the ex would be there but I am so relieved he didn’t turn up.

plumduff-2

Nice to know it went well, things are not always perfect but we have to make the most of what we have...

Your son has good points.. I know mine does - the little sod.... :-)

And you are a good Mum, so dont put yourslef down, as I used to say to my son, when sh*t happens, all we can do is get up, brush ourselves down and decide what to do next...

Well done you...!

andyrules

That's great news Carrera,do you think ex oh was just playing you along, or did he chicken out? Maybe gf wouldn't let him go - ha.
When you say short stay, do you mean PRU?
I'm sure son must feel better that there's an explanation for his frustration.
Cheers

Carrera74

andyrules wrote:

That's great news Carrera,do you think ex oh was just playing you along, or did he chicken out? Maybe gf wouldn't let him go - ha.
When you say short stay, do you mean PRU?
I'm sure son must feel better that there's an explanation for his frustration.
Cheers

I have no idea what he is playing at. I really don’t. He makes it out he is so concerned yet never follows it through. He spoke to the SENCO yesterday to ask for an update and she told him about his latest exclusion and the level it had reached. He commented to her that he might not be able to come. I know she tried to put him at ease and said the meeting is about our son and not about blame and it’s a meeting to move things forward and apparently he said he’s not been part of it so is out of the picture? He’s had a copy of everything and should be pretty clued up by now. I spoke to him after his first exclusion and the second and third so he is more than aware of what is happening. I got a text off him obviously angry as I hadn’t told him about the last exclusion but the last time I spoke to him he was aggressive and wouldn’t listen to my side. I replied to his text saying if he wants to talk about it to ring me to which he replied he didn’t want to speak to me as I’m a liar and the SENCO said that stopping access isn’t helping but making it worse (which isn’t true). Anyway he’s going to get a copy of the minutes so he’ll know what’s happened and whether he’ll attend the next meeting who knows. The next meeting isn’t until Easter so hopefully things will be on the mend by then, hopefully!!

Yes the short stay is the PRU.

I had to fly to work straight after the meeting so got him home, settled him with his work and went. I'll sit and have some time with him tonight and speak to him.

Carrera74

Just been on to the school and my son hasn’t got a place at the PRU. Reasons being no educational psych and LEIS input. My son is to go back in on Monday for half days for 3 days then full days – hope he lasts that long!! The school have now put a referral to the Edpsyc – you’d think this would’ve been done the first time he was excluded and the PRU co-ordinator is going in school on Tuesday to speak to my son alone (is this the norm?). I asked if I needed to be there and the co-ordinator has asked to speak to him alone to discuss strategies. He’ll probably be more open if I am not there.

I’m starting to get my normal dreading Monday feeling.

plumduff-2

Sorry to hear that C... Will probably be a metter of time before the situation continues and he is expelled... not muich oyu can do for now... but do contact

LEA
Parent Partnership

for further help and advcie and support... Let the PRU talk alone with him... he may open about something to someone who is encouraging to him... (not that you arent - but your his Mum..)

Carrera74

I spoke with the LEA on Friday. The chap I spoke to was very nice and said I had 2 choices either change schools and hope the change will help (?) or he continues to be excluded until he is permantly excluded and then we'll be fighting off the help. Seems you only get the help you need when you've been permanently excluded!! He's had a good day at home today with the oh - they've been making puppets this afternoon We'll continue to give him lots of support at home and hopefully he'll make it to half term although I know thats probably too much positive thinking.

I'll contact the Parent Partnership too. Thanks

plumduff-2

The first option may be a good idea.. have a look at the OfSYED reports for other schoolds in the area... there may be one about which has better facilities for dealing with children with 'issues'....

Carrera74

Great way to put it - 'issues' lol