I'm sort of homeless. Need money NOW.

Vanille_2

DCFC79 wrote: »

If your found out for commiting benefit fraud then im not a degree would be much use. Have you thought what are you going to do if it takes you 2, 3, 4 or 5 months to find a job or any job to just earn some money.

True. It's a risk I took though.
If it takes me a long time to find a job then I'll still require the JSA. I'll try my best to find one though. To be honest I think most people who are on JSA are lying when they say they can't get a job.

I'll got a low-end job, even manual labor if I have to (I have done this before), to get some money. In the meantime i'll apply for graduate roles. I'm not just going to sit on JSA and do nothing. The only reason i'm doing this now is because i'm busy with uni.

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

Still failing to see how your mum has treated you so badly ...

Like I said, I don't want to go through it all here. This discussion is big enough and i'm trying my best to keep up with it. You may take this to assume that there's nothing really wrong, then so be it. Like I said, when I wasn't living here and I was supporting myself I found myself in counsellors offices talking for hours about them, really getting down.

Vanille_2

Purbeck wrote: »

I disagree fundamentally with something you've said Vanille ( and this is the voice of a 'nice' person, who by and large has followed the rules lol) Quote "It's the 'nice' people in life that don't question anything that get f***ed over IMO. Those who pay everything on time and live by every code."

You can be nice, and follow rules and sometimes it may 'seem' that is not the best course, but I believe it is. For one thing if you don't lie or 'play the system' to your own ends... you never have to worry about getting caught out, and honesty and fair dealing does seem to bring about that "what goes round comes round" effect I've found.

It is always right and proper that one should question and change things when possible/desirable , particularly injustice/inequalities ...but through the proper means. In other words 'the end does not justify the means', the motivation and the 'means' must be honest for the 'end' to be lasting and fair.

(I don't 'pay everything on time' btw because often I just can't...but I try! and I don't abdicate from that responsibility...it is mine and whatever I owe will be paid back , in cash or kind somehow.)

I think you've misunderstood me. I stand by my original comment, but I don't think it means you should break all the rules. I live by the majority of rules in life, but there are times when that means I lose out. Honesty can come at a cost.
I'll give you an example: If I started a job in a certain shop, for a few weeks, but I have a terrible relationship with my boss, I'll leave the job. In my next job interview I will keep it quiet about that previous job and pretend it never existed. The 'right' thing to do in that scenario would be to tell the employer about the previous job, then you might not get through the interview because they don't want to take a risk on you. In that scenario I would tell them my last job was another one, for my own benefit. I don't think that's so terrible and most people would do it.

This stunt of benefit fraud is the only time i've ever done this and I intend to stop it very soon. I'm sorry that it infuriated everybody, but it doesn't mean i'm a terrible human being.

Vanille_2

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

So you won't stop the fraud?

I really hope your parents throw you out, you desperately need a reality check.

Let's get one thing straight, what i'm doing right now is 'wrong'. I know that. I feel that in the bigger picture it is justified, it's survival of the fittest and i'm using it to survive, for the long term it's not that bad. When i'm 50 and have contributed lots in tax and to charity it won't matter then. Right now what i'm doing is wrong.

You may disagree and feel it's a bad idea, but where the hell does that mean I need a 'reality' check? Does this really mean i'm living in cuckoo land? It's just my perspective, it's a 'normal' perpective even if it's wrong.

A Reality check would be required if I thought I would get away with it for 2 years whilst living in France, because it wouldn't be possible.

If you feel I deserve to be branded the lowest form of human and abandoned just because i'm getting a few hundred pounds from an organisation where I'll eventually contribute hundreds of thousands, then perhaps YOU need a reality check.

System

Vanille a friend of mine has a stack of job application rejections, clever, experienced, willing to take anything that will pay the mortgage...those jobs are getting harder and harder to find, even the manual labour ones, please don't assume that most are just unwilling to take work! You have to be able to pay the rent/mortgage...basic wage and short hours doesn't always do that. Depending on where you are, there may not even be the low-end jobs...and often hearing you are a graduate means they won't consider you anyway as you are considered 'over qualified' and therefore likely to leave too quickly.

thegirlintheattic

Vanille wrote: »

True. It's a risk I took though.
If it takes me a long time to find a job then I'll still require the JSA. I'll try my best to find one though. To be honest I think most people who are on JSA are lying when they say they can't get a job.

I'll got a low-end job, even manual labor if I have to (I have done this before), to get some money. In the meantime i'll apply for graduate roles. I'm not just going to sit on JSA and do nothing. The only reason i'm doing this now is because i'm busy with uni.

I can't wait till you get a reality check and fall on you behind.

kittiej

D. I will stop the fraud. In 2 weeks. I'll make it a mission of mine to pay it back in the future, but probably to a charity instead.

If that is your intention then could I suggest you support a charity that provides food for people who can't afford any. There was a thread on another board which highlighted that job centres are directing people to food charities if they can't get a crisis loan and don't have any food.

LL30

Vanille wrote: »

Thankyou very much for this.

A. I was referred to a professor at a hospital, who diagnosed me. I'll go through the process again in the city i'm in and see what happens.

B. I didn't know that. I'd be willing to do this.

C. That actually sounds kind of like me. It's possible I do have slight Aspergers, then. I'll wait for a Dr. to tell me before I take it as fact though. I've been curious about CBT but it takes so damn long to get treated on NHS.

D. I will stop the fraud. In 2 weeks. I'll make it a mission of mine to pay it back in the future, but probably to a charity instead.

Great news! Sometimes you have to be a little persistent (particularly with adult mental health services unfortunately) but you deserve help, and you should get it. It's true the waiting lists for CBT can be horrendous, but if you get your name down for it, at least that's a step forward. You never know, if you land a job soon, you may be able to go private Good luck x

Vanille_2

Purbeck wrote: »

Just responding to what you've said while I was typing Vanille...I think it is true of nearly everyone that if one has experience of something specific ( having a child for example) one does run the risk of sounding patronising when talking to someone who hasn't! lol like my son when he tells me how something works on my PC ...sometimes he is amazed that I am intelligent enough to have worked it out myself already! ( maybe not as quickly as him but I get there).

There will always be people who think they know everything....some don't, but some of them actually do know an awful lot...particularly if they have fallen into the 'pitfalls' themselves and pulled themselves out again. We all ( possibly) have a parent who said "Don't do ...such and such" , mine at least was trying to give me the benefit of her own hard experience...Did I always listen? No of course not, it is only in retrospect that I realise how good the advice was. As the song goes "20/20 vision, but only looking back!".

Again, thanks for the wisdom.

Maybe i've had some bad experiences, but I really am sick of hearing 50 year olds telling me that i'm living in cuckoo land because I want to cycle across the other side of the world. As though i'll eventually learn my place and see their wisdom. I know that it's possible and not even that hard for me to complete that quest. Hell, I know of people in much worse positions than I that have completed such an accolade, but people don't think they're living in cuckoo land, but I am. I'm sick of everybody treating me like i'm delusional because I see a different logic to others.
I tell my parents I want to live in Australia, they tell me i'm on cloud 9. I tell them I want to work in X industry (noting far-fetched) and they say "yeah right, you can't even do Y". They feel this is the truth because it's something they couldn't do.

I'll see a nice house on TV (again, not extreme, achievable) and i'll express my desire for it, then i'll be told to stop dreaming, i'll never reach that high. Too many older people are quick to dampen my dreams because they feel it's not possible for them. It's not like i'm planning to be the next Simon Cowell.
I get laughed at if I say I want to teach English in Brazil for a year. I know it's possible. I know people do it, but people still tell me to 'face reality' and to be honest I find it incredible patronising.

People who had children at 16 literally do say to me that I should settle down and face reality. It happened to me last week. People are always criticising my diet, my daily habits, my leisurely activites, my desires, my dreams & plans. I'm treated like I know nothing of the world and one day I'll come to realise that they are correct.

kittiej

I was once told by a manger at work that if a person wants to do something badly enough then they will find a way. When we are younger we don't have the same self-limitations that age brings. You don't have a family/dependants so there should be nothing to hold you back IME

Vanille_2

Purbeck wrote: »

Vanille a friend of mine has a stack of job application rejections, clever, experienced, willing to take anything that will pay the mortgage...those jobs are getting harder and harder to find, even the manual labour ones, please don't assume that most are just unwilling to take work! You have to be able to pay the rent/mortgage...basic wage and short hours doesn't always do that. Depending on where you are, there may not even be the low-end jobs...and often hearing you are a graduate means they won't consider you anyway as you are considered 'over qualified' and therefore likely to leave too quickly.

Maybe that's true, but i've never really struggled to get a job before. A few months ago before I left uni I walked into a job, I didn't even apply for it, I just went along with a friend who was going for it and I got the job. I only had to give it up because the rent was up and I couldn't afford to extend it, so I moved back with the parents. After these 2 weeks i'll hopefully get straight back into one.

You know what else? I was very good at the job and the manager was very impressed. I might sound arrogant, but I have to defend myself here.

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

I can't wait till you get a reality check and fall on you behind.

And what if I do find a job straight away? Like I said above, I always have. This is the typical attitude I get from people who struggle with things. They assume i'm going to struggle, because they do.

Maybe I will struggle, I'll deal with it.

And thankyou for wishing that fate on me, that's very mature of you. I don't hope anything happens to you.

What if I do get a job easily? Will you be there to tell me that you were wrong? That I don't need to face reality? Or maybe you'll tell me i'm lucky.

I can never win.