I'm sort of homeless. Need money NOW.

DCFC79

If your found out for commiting benefit fraud then im not sure a degree would be much use(not sayng it will happen but could do). Have you thought what are you going to do if it takes you 2, 3, 4 or 5 months to find a job or any job to just earn some money.

Vanille_2

kittiej wrote: »

OK so do you have a study plan for the next 2 weeks? You need to make sure you're going to get finished on time.

If your parents don't respect you then do they respect education? Would you be able to negotiate a truce for the next 14 days?

Yep, I have a comprehensive plan. I've been trying to have a truce, which is why I lock myself away. They just find ways to start butting in and telling me i'm wrong. I don't bring the topics up.

tonycottee wrote: »

I don't even know what a meta is, let alone what it's for.

I'll try and be gentle as I think some people are being a little too harsh. Purely from what you've posted, you come across how I was at 16 years old.
You've written a fair bit about all the things you've achieved in life against the odds - including achieving much more than your average 24 year old. You've also put down your parents (even down to their weight) and criticised your brother. Some of your replies to posts have come across as slightly condescending (it means talking down to:p) - but then that could be excusable as you're having to defend yourself. But the fact that you started to use some of the most famous and successful people of the 20th Century to justify some of your actions gives me the impression that you feel you're superior to others.
This could be the reason why you have so many issues with your mother.

I understand your point, but I have to use those figures because everybody knows them. I can't talk about Paul down the road.

Purbeck wrote: »

For two weeks, put up with it!

It isn't a case of no one on here respecting that you want to make the best of your talents by continuing your education to the point where you can make a success of your chosen career. I think everyone would respect you more, if you sounded a little less arrogant, that may be the fault of your style of writing, or because you seem to assume that older people are criticising you just because they ARE older. All experience of life is valuable and valid....mine no less than yours and vice versa... but being older does mean that I ( and others on here) have opinions based on a LONGER period of experience and possibly, in some instances, a broader experience.

Thanks for your comments, you've been one of the most useful people to criticise me.
I have had to sound arrogant to argue back. The fact is, from my current experiences, most older people do look down on me, as do people around my age that have worked for longer or had a child. I feel the need to defend myself because it's not fair. Maybe i've been unlucky.
Contrary to popular belief (on here) I don't consider myself arrogant. Some of the people I have most respect for aren't necessarily placed high in society, or have fantastic jobs. The reason i've had to use condescending (thanks Tony for reminding me of the world ) remarks about certain careers is to highlight why I feel I shouldn't be looked down upon. I really am getting a lot of abuse for no real reason. I have to justify myself.

mikefoster

Vanille wrote: »

Haha, I see what you mean, but let's skip forwards a month to when I DO have the degree. Even at this current moment, without the degree, I have a bunch of extra curricular activities that mean i've done than most uni students, well at least the ones that are at mine, that i've met. I can't give you a national comparison because I haven't met every single student, but that doesn't mean I can't have even a slightly accurate opinion. Also, students are the minority. Compared to most who have just gone with the currents of life, i've done a bit more.

I think this has gone out of hand a little bit. I've come across as somebody who thinks very highly of themselves, like i'm bragging. The reason i've gone on about myself is because i'm getting people who are extrapolating and telling me that i'm lazy and that I don't deserve respect etc..
I'm not saying I should be worshipped here, all i'm arguing is that I shouldn't be looked down upon. Is that so much to ask?

Also, you may not have the same problems with your parents.

I am not saying I do. However, you still negate such causes of your parents angst.

System

I disagree fundamentally with something you've said Vanille ( and this is the voice of a 'nice' person, who by and large has followed the rules lol) Quote "It's the 'nice' people in life that don't question anything that get f***ed over IMO. Those who pay everything on time and live by every code."

You can be nice, and follow rules and sometimes it may 'seem' that is not the best course, but I believe it is. For one thing if you don't lie or 'play the system' to your own ends... you never have to worry about getting caught out, and honesty and fair dealing does seem to bring about that "what goes round comes round" effect I've found.

It is always right and proper that one should question and change things when possible/desirable , particularly injustice/inequalities ...but through the proper means. In other words 'the end does not justify the means', the motivation and the 'means' must be honest for the 'end' to be lasting and fair.

(I don't 'pay everything on time' btw because often I just can't...but I try! and I don't abdicate from that responsibility...it is mine and whatever I owe will be paid back , in cash or kind somehow.)

Vanille_2

meer53 wrote: »

What a load of old bulls**t. So, i pay taxes for most of my working life, (like most normal people) never claim benefits that i'm not entitled to and you say that I'M acting to the detriment of my country ? And YOU'RE not ?
As for the ME ME ME COMMENT, it's not aimed at the thread, it's aimed at you as a person and how you seem incapable of seeing anyone else's viewpoint. (those that disagree with you that is)

Good luck in your quest for the highest paying job in the country, (which you seem to think is just around the corner) i've employed lots of people in my life, i sure as hell wouldn't employ you, doesn't matter how many University degrees you might have. Some people never go to Uni and have very successful careers, in fact these days, a degree can sometimes be a bit of a handicap. It's sometimes about personality, not education, maybe you should concentrate more on subdueing your superiority complex.

Yes there are older posters on the forum who are all saying the same things, thats because we have more life experience and can see both sides of problems and are not quite so wrapped up in ourselves as you seem to be.

My son is 24, i have had to yell at him on more than one occasion for various things, leaving lights on, not turning off taps, leaving clothes on the floor, not calling me when he's not coming home, changing the tv channel without asking me whether i mind, it's life, you need to accept it. Thats what parents do. You're lucky to have 2 parents who are prepared to help you, some children don't have any, or their parents physically abuse them. I don't think you're having it too bad right now. Get over it.

I'm not saying that i'm not acting to the detriment of my country, I am, but in that scenario you posted about, it's different. I'm not claiming JSA because I can't be bothered to work. I'm claiming it because I can't work due to university but I can't get the money from anywhere else, so i'm exploiting it.
Why don't you understand the difference? In your scenario, you're saying that you've paid enough to the country, so you can live off it forever.

Also, I understand degrees generally mean no work experience (except I actually have quite a bit) but I don't expect a high paying wage for a long time. Why can't people understand that the only reason i've been arrogant is to defend why I shouldn't be looked down upon because i'm young?
One thing I have a problem with is people saying that I can't see the full picture. How do you know that? I an see it, I just choose my opinion.

I can see why you say you wouldn't hire me, but then I wouldn't come across anything like this in person, so you wouldn't know. Besides, although it may not look like it, I'm not as inflexible as I appear. I don't always think i'm right. I get corrected all the time, but once I form an opinion, I stick with it until proved otherwise. I'm arguing because I agree with my opinions and people are putting up arguments and I don't agree with them.

Yes, i'm lucky to have my parents. I really am grateful for what they have done for me, but then I can't help but be angry at them for other things they've done to me. As I said to another poster, just because they're not the worst parents in the world doesn't mean I can't be mad at them.

Vanille_2

LL30 wrote: »

Sorry Vanille, I don't have the time to find your reply to my previous post. I don't think it would be right for me to discuss your mental health issues via a PM, professionally that does not sit well with me. A few things for you to consider though:

A) A doctor cannot diagnose OCPD, they can refer you for an assessment, but they don't diagnose. You need to go back to the docs and get a referral. This will put you in line for adult mental health services. OCPD is usually 'treated' by CBT type therapies, I really think it would be a smart move to try and access something like this. Personality disorders are a last resort diagnosis, and will hardly ever take place prior to the age of 18 - but just because someone gets a diagnosis, it does not mean that they have to simply 'accept' that this is the way their brain works and try to justify their actions because of their condition. There are techniques you can learn - but this is dependent on whether you want to change.

OCPD is usually the result of attachment issues, would you be prepared to undertake a systemic approach and maybe consider family therapy (dependent on whether your parents would be obliging of course!)

C) My daughter's father has Aspergers. The ASD spectrum is a continuum and people sometimes get very confused and think that they can't be X because they don't do Y. It doesn't work this way. My daughter's father is very sociable, he has friends, but he also separates all his food on his plate into piles, then eats the vegetables first and meat last - regardless of the meal (spag bol poses a real problem!) Don't try and self diagnose, don't google, go to the doctors, please.

I apologise if you were patronised by the last statement in my previous response. I was aware that you would read it, and probably find it patronising, but I was simply trying to explain to others that because of the rigidity of your thought processes, you find it hard to actually 'listen' to what others are saying. OCPD sufferers are usually narcissistic in nature, and struggle to understand other's points of view (ie, a prime example of this is your inability to understand how cleaning communal spaces should be expected of you, without you being asked to do it, whilst you live with your parents) Right, I'm going to stop now, but one last thing:

You're committing benefit fraud. Please stop. Don't compare your fraud to Bob's down the street. Just because you believe you are going to contribute more than most in taxes over your lifetime, it doesn't stop it from being fraud - and neither will that defence hold water if you're caught.

Take care x

Thankyou very much for this.

A. I was referred to a professor at a hospital, who diagnosed me. I'll go through the process again in the city i'm in and see what happens.

B. I didn't know that. I'd be willing to do this.

C. That actually sounds kind of like me. It's possible I do have slight Aspergers, then. I'll wait for a Dr. to tell me before I take it as fact though. I've been curious about CBT but it takes so damn long to get treated on NHS.

D. I will stop the fraud. In 2 weeks. I'll make it a mission of mine to pay it back in the future, but probably to a charity instead.

Vanille_2

Shiloe wrote: »

Well those people are clearly less important than you Stalin was a tyrant if only his parents had used a condom as well as yours :rotfl:

Well that wasn't nice.

You see why I've had to fight back so much. You've basically implied that it wold have been better if I weren't born. Some of the posters have really shown themselves to be lower than I, but they'll never realise it.

You've also missed the idea of comparing morals through a figure we all know. If you seriously think i'm implying that i'm similar to Stalin then you've misunderstood a lot in here.

Emmzi wrote: »

And as predicted you have justified every point to yourself. How marvelous to have no faults!

Get off the internet and go and write an essay while I put you on ignore. Those who would rather moan than act get no sympathy from me.

Is my reply wrong? If it is then please tell me why. If I see your point then i'll modify my opinion. Until then I'll continue to justify my actions with why I believe they are correct. That's what people do in argument.

bobajob_1966

Vanille wrote: »

D. I will stop the fraud. In 2 weeks. I'll make it a mission of mine to pay it back in the future, but probably to a charity instead.

So you won't stop the fraud?

I really hope your parents throw you out, you desperately need a reality check.

System

Just responding to what you've said while I was typing Vanille...I think it is true of nearly everyone that if one has experience of something specific ( having a child for example) one does run the risk of sounding patronising when talking to someone who hasn't! lol like my son when he tells me how something works on my PC ...sometimes he is amazed that I am intelligent enough to have worked it out myself already! ( maybe not as quickly as him but I get there).

There will always be people who think they know everything....some don't, but some of them actually do know an awful lot...particularly if they have fallen into the 'pitfalls' themselves and pulled themselves out again. We all ( possibly) have a parent who said "Don't do ...such and such" , mine at least was trying to give me the benefit of her own hard experience...Did I always listen? No of course not, it is only in retrospect that I realise how good the advice was. As the song goes "20/20 vision, but only looking back!".

CH27

Shiloe wrote: »

Well those people are clearly less important than you Stalin was a tyrant if only his parents had used a condom as well as yours :rotfl:

You are out of order with your nastiness.