I'm sort of homeless. Need money NOW.

jc808

Vanille wrote: »

I chose to sacrifice work,

No surprise

Vanille wrote: »

Yes I have achieved more than most 24 year olds. My CV proves that. I'm not going through all of the details, because I don't want to compromise my identity, on the odd chance that somebody will recognise me.

I suppose that nanotechnology you invented, the totally fresh thinking re: theoretical particles gleaned from CERN LHC Data and the cure for AIDS youve synthesised would warrant anonymity, yes

Outside of cloud !!!!ing cuckoo land, I think you're full of !!!!. Why don't you give us an idea on what these 'achievements' are apart from perennial moping and your holding of the Guinness World Record for navel gazing eight years in a row?

FagAshLil

I'm astonished at the way this thread has turned so nasty - even in here! I think some of you need to get a grip and step away from the keyboards to calm yourselves down.

OP, I'm old enough to be your mum and if you were mine, you'd probably irritate the bejasus out of me but you'd always know that you were loved. It sounds to me that your mum is pretty unfair in her treatment of you and favours your brother. It happens. A lot.

Make your plans to leave and try to keep under the radar as much as you can until then. I'm glad your dad is nice to you - that's important so do what you have to do to keep the peace for him!

Vanille_2

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

SP would never be rude to people - he often chose not to listen to advice, but always in a kind of polite way?

Not that I can remember him at all, honest!

Why do you think i'm being rude? Take a look back through the thread and see who started being rude.
I was having a debate on what's right/wrong, why my parents feel they can do/say certain things and I should bow down and respect them. I did not start being rude. I've taken a lot of fire in this forum and i've had to defend myself.

So far i've been called scum, a sponge, a waste of a human. I've been told I deserve for my parents to hate me, that i'm living in a dream world, that i'm selfish, lazy, naive and other things I can't remember. Some people have been calling me a tw**. What the f*** do you expect me to do? I'm defending myself. Should I really be punished for trying to argue on what's right or wrong? I haven't even been abusive to my parents, i'm just trying to debate on whether i'm being treated unfairly and then I get THIS SH**. This is why I hate stuck-up 'seniors'. They feel the need to look down on me, ignoring hypocrisy, as though their sh** doesn't stink.

Even through all of this, I can't quite get across what it's like with my parents. We've discussed more transferable problems such as cleaning. You don't know how they talk to me.

To be honest I feel that I've been slightly bullied by my parents, all the while interspersed with some compliments, which masks it somewhat. People don't understand what goes on here. All they see is that i'm reluctant to clean for my mum because we have issues and that I must be some childish little delinquent. I have to defend myself. Before these two months I was getting rather depressed by the way they were speaking to me when I wasn't living at home. Now i'm here I have to fight back, because i'm sick of taking this !!!! from people just because they're older than me.

meer53

"At the same time, I do feel that i'm different from those who sponge off the government permanently.
I'm using the government for a short period of time, using money i've already contributed. This will then put me in a better position so that I can pay my taxes. The way I see it is for the greater good."

Well that just explains it all doesn't it ? ME ME ME ME !

The poster who said you were supercilious was spot on ! I've worked and paid taxes for the past 39 years, does your logic mean that i can now jack in my job and let the government pay me to sit on my backside ? Your comments are ridiculous. You have an excuse for everything, and why would you not want to burden your GF's mother but you're quite happy to burden your own ?
One day you may be a parent yourself, then maybe you will realise that all parents try to do their best, it might not be to your exacting standards, cut your mother some slack and try to show her some respect whether you think you should or not. Now thats what would be called being a good son, try to think about someone else for a change.

System

Debate does sharpen the mind for other work it's true lol

Of course there are illogical reactions, there is prejudice, double standards and plain old misfortune, and all those things that seem 'wrong' and which get in the way of everything going alright in life. That's a given for nearly every one of us ...it's how you deal with it that marks one out as worthy of 'respect' I think.

I could sit here and whinge that if my family had had money I could have gone straight to uni after school,instead of straight to work, that going to college later in life was wasted because I then couldn't complete my degree because I had to become a carer instead, I may have missed out on an 'academic' job and the challenge and due respect that went with it...but that's how it is , you have to deal with what you are handed and make what you can of it. ( my education wasn't wasted, it never is. I gave the best I could to being a carer, those years couldn't be classed as 'wasted'...as a CV it may not add up to much really...but it adds up to 'a life lived'.

And the point of the above ramble is that YOU are the one who makes the decisions in the end. Some are beneficial to you , others seem not to be so but ultimately are because they are 'character building' lol... your present difficult situation is building your character....let it be for the better!.

Vanille_2

barbarawright wrote: »

We''ve had pages about how your problems can all be explained by your mental health issues. Seems like you mother deserves a similar amount of sympathy. Maybe she'd like a 'better' job but hasn't had the same opportunities as you because, hey, she's brought up two kids.

That's a fair point. She didn't have the opportunities I've had and i'm eternally grateful, i've told them that. The problem is that they made a lot of mistakes when they were younger, things that I haven't done, but they're being very harsh about how I should live.

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

I'm still lost as to why your parents are so bad - how were they strict/ mean? How do they try to control you?

It's a strange relationship. They're very good to me in some ways, especially my dad, but my mum has never been anything but critical of me, not even in a constructive way. The sort of way that a stranger would be, like on this forum.

It really is too much to write here, there are also things i've forgotten, which have molded my view of them, but have vanished fro memory. They're just extremely critical of me and they try to control many areas of my life, even those that I have more expertise in.

Emmzi

In the full knowledge this will be justified away by the OP...

1. You are not homeless at all, you just don't like where you are but would rather moan than improve the atmosphere there. There are genuinely deserving and homeless people asking for help on the housing and benefits boards. You do have no idea how lucky you are. You may be having a little exam stress, and home stress, but I don't think you are waking up in the night wondering if your dad is going to come in and punch you tonight.

2. Go and have a look at a temporary accommodation B&B to give yourself some perspective.

3. Visit the employment board for the reams of graduates who cannot find any kind of job before you tell us how much you will be contributing to society. How would you repay the loan if you didn't get a job? Is your degree in some really rare skill set?

4. You've paid in to the system? Well hurray! That's probably paid your school fees, NHS treatment from birth, a tenth of a soldier and maybe a bit of street lighting and bin collection. How much tax and NI *have* you contributed since age 16? Are you paying your parents any rent?

Seriously, top arsing about the with keep fit until you are finished your studies and have a job. Your priorities for someone who wants to move out are way out of whack. Few people get everything they want in life, most of us have to make choices. You need more time finishing your studies and less having long walks with the wind in your hair.

If I were your mum your superiority complex would have me chucking you out of the house long ago. I suggest you apply for jobs without personality profiling as that is going to shine through a mile.

(and before we start the ad hominen debating, older than you, working longer than you, more degrees than you, paid more money than you, more chronically ill than you. Am I, in fact, Stephen Fry? I think not, just a normal woman who gets ****ed off by rank ingratitude and special snowflakes.)

Scared45

If you need money to move out then sell some stuff.

jc808

Vanille wrote: »

things that I haven't done, .

Is the washing up, making coffee and waking up on time also on this list?

mikefoster

Reading this topic, I felt slightly sympathetic initially. However, it is just annoying now. I am 25, my partner is 24, we have both completed university (worked while we were there) and are now working professionals owning our own home. When we finished uni, we had to go back to parents homes and abide by their rules and eat in the rooms they wanted us to and help out around the house. If we never, they complained. However, you have chosen to negate the reason you and your parents 'dislike' you. You also discuss how much you have achieved that other 24 year olds havent. The majority of my friends (all 24 ish) have graduated uni ,have jobs and are living their own lives, which seems to be more than you have achieved? I do understand some of your points but feel you are being slightly extreme.