I'm sort of homeless. Need money NOW.

Vanille_2

Purbeck wrote: »

Debate does sharpen the mind for other work it's true lol

Of course there are illogical reactions, there is prejudice, double standards and plain old misfortune, and all those things that seem 'wrong' and which get in the way of everything going alright in life. That's a given for nearly every one of us ...it's how you deal with it that marks one out as worthy of 'respect' I think.

I could sit here and whinge that if my family had had money I could have gone straight to uni after school,instead of straight to work, that going to college later in life was wasted because I then couldn't complete my degree because I had to become a carer instead, I may have missed out on an 'academic' job and the challenge and due respect that went with it...but that's how it is , you have to deal with what you are handed and make what you can of it. ( my education wasn't wasted, it never is. I gave the best I could to being a carer, those years couldn't be classed as 'wasted'...as a CV it may not add up to much really...but it adds up to 'a life lived'.

And the point of the above ramble is that YOU are the one who makes the decisions in the end. Some are beneficial to you , others seem not to be so but ultimately are because they are 'character building' lol... your present difficult situation is building your character....let it be for the better!.

Thanks. The thing is, given the current situation I feel that i've taken the right path and that i'm doing the right thing. In this discussion we've challenged the right/wrong of my parents and I. I've come to my conclusions and i'm sticking for them. In this thread people have interfered by going off-topic and telling me how much of a horrible person I am and I've spent a disproportionate amount of time justifying my actions. I stick by them. I made the decision to use the benefits for a few weeks, with intentions to make it right in the future. I feel that is the best thing for me, without being morally incorrect. Some people hate me for it, some may not. The fact is, if I lived by the book of how you should live, then i'd be a lot worse off than I am now.
It's the 'nice' people in life that don't question anything that get f***ed over IMO. Those who pay everything on time and live by every code. Now I try to live as morally correct as I can, but I take shortcuts. I'm not afraid to admit it though.

I bet many of these posters got their job because a friend already worked there, but the 'correct' thing to do would have been to open that job up to everybody so that the best person could have it. However people exploit little situations in life that may or may not be moral, but so long as overall they try to live a moral life then what's the problem?
I know life isn't fair, so I try to be fair only when it's realistic.

Scared45 wrote: »

If you need money to move out then sell some stuff.

As I said earlier, selling all of my possessions may sound a smart idea, but when I move away and have to re-buy them in 2 months it won't feel so smart.

backinbusiness

Sorry OP, but don't you have coursework to finish?

Bye then x

meer53

Vanille wrote: »

That's not really an equal situation though is it? In that situation, after working for 39 years you would decide to use up your 39 years of contributions (or as many as possible) to the overall detriment of your country.

In my scenario, I aim to be at the detriment of the government for a short period of time, so that in the long run I can contribute more to the government than if I had not exploited them for a short amount of time. This may be conjecture, but it's also grounded in realistic foundations. This scenario also benefits me, I mean obviously, but it also works out better for the government. Your scenario wouldn't work out better for the government.

Also, of course it's all about me. It's my thread, in which people are discussing about my life. Am I going to talk about your life?

What a load of old bulls**t. So, i pay taxes for most of my working life, (like most normal people) never claim benefits that i'm not entitled to and you say that I'M acting to the detriment of my country ? And YOU'RE not ?
As for the ME ME ME COMMENT, it's not aimed at the thread, it's aimed at you as a person and how you seem incapable of seeing anyone else's viewpoint. (those that disagree with you that is)

Good luck in your quest for the highest paying job in the country, (which you seem to think is just around the corner) i've employed lots of people in my life, i sure as hell wouldn't employ you, doesn't matter how many University degrees you might have. Some people never go to Uni and have very successful careers, in fact these days, a degree can sometimes be a bit of a handicap. It's sometimes about personality, not education, maybe you should concentrate more on subdueing your superiority complex.

Yes there are older posters on the forum who are all saying the same things, thats because we have more life experience and can see both sides of problems and are not quite so wrapped up in ourselves as you seem to be.

My son is 24, i have had to yell at him on more than one occasion for various things, leaving lights on, not turning off taps, leaving clothes on the floor, not calling me when he's not coming home, changing the tv channel without asking me whether i mind, it's life, you need to accept it. Thats what parents do. You're lucky to have 2 parents who are prepared to help you, some children don't have any, or their parents physically abuse them. I don't think you're having it too bad right now. Get over it.

LL30

Sorry Vanille, I don't have the time to find your reply to my previous post. I don't think it would be right for me to discuss your mental health issues via a PM, professionally that does not sit well with me. A few things for you to consider though:

A) A doctor cannot diagnose OCPD, they can refer you for an assessment, but they don't diagnose. You need to go back to the docs and get a referral. This will put you in line for adult mental health services. OCPD is usually 'treated' by CBT type therapies, I really think it would be a smart move to try and access something like this. Personality disorders are a last resort diagnosis, and will hardly ever take place prior to the age of 18 - but just because someone gets a diagnosis, it does not mean that they have to simply 'accept' that this is the way their brain works and try to justify their actions because of their condition. There are techniques you can learn - but this is dependent on whether you want to change.

OCPD is usually the result of attachment issues, would you be prepared to undertake a systemic approach and maybe consider family therapy (dependent on whether your parents would be obliging of course!)

C) My daughter's father has Aspergers. The ASD spectrum is a continuum and people sometimes get very confused and think that they can't be X because they don't do Y. It doesn't work this way. My daughter's father is very sociable, he has friends, but he also separates all his food on his plate into piles, then eats the vegetables first and meat last - regardless of the meal (spag bol poses a real problem!) Don't try and self diagnose, don't google, go to the doctors, please.

I apologise if you were patronised by the last statement in my previous response. I was aware that you would read it, and probably find it patronising, but I was simply trying to explain to others that because of the rigidity of your thought processes, you find it hard to actually 'listen' to what others are saying. OCPD sufferers are usually narcissistic in nature, and struggle to understand other's points of view (ie, a prime example of this is your inability to understand how cleaning communal spaces should be expected of you, without you being asked to do it, whilst you live with your parents) Right, I'm going to stop now, but one last thing:

You're committing benefit fraud. Please stop. Don't compare your fraud to Bob's down the street. Just because you believe you are going to contribute more than most in taxes over your lifetime, it doesn't stop it from being fraud - and neither will that defence hold water if you're caught.

Take care x

Vanille_2

Emmzi wrote: »

In the full knowledge this will be justified away by the OP...

1. You are not homeless at all, you just don't like where you are but would rather moan than improve the atmosphere there. There are genuinely deserving and homeless people asking for help on the housing and benefits boards. You do have no idea how lucky you are. You may be having a little exam stress, and home stress, but I don't think you are waking up in the night wondering if your dad is going to come in and punch you tonight.

2. Go and have a look at a temporary accommodation B&B to give yourself some perspective.

3. Visit the employment board for the reams of graduates who cannot find any kind of job before you tell us how much you will be contributing to society. How would you repay the loan if you didn't get a job? Is your degree in some really rare skill set?

4. You've paid in to the system? Well hurray! That's probably paid your school fees, NHS treatment from birth, a tenth of a soldier and maybe a bit of street lighting and bin collection. How much tax and NI *have* you contributed since age 16? Are you paying your parents any rent?

Seriously, top arsing about the with keep fit until you are finished your studies and have a job. Your priorities for someone who wants to move out are way out of whack. Few people get everything they want in life, most of us have to make choices. You need more time finishing your studies and less having long walks with the wind in your hair.

If I were your mum your superiority complex would have me chucking you out of the house long ago. I suggest you apply for jobs without personality profiling as that is going to shine through a mile.

(and before we start the ad hominen debating, older than you, working longer than you, more degrees than you, paid more money than you, more chronically ill than you. Am I, in fact, Stephen Fry? I think not, just a normal woman who gets ****ed off by rank ingratitude and special snowflakes.)

1. Yes, I know there are people worse than I. You can't live life that way though. Does this mean that I have no grounds to complain about getting robbed in the street, because there are people in Africa who are starving? There will ALWAYS be people worse off than I, and it's nice to use that to make you appreciate things, but it doesn't mean I have no right to be annoyed at my own situation, no matter how luxurious it is.
I think people need to understand that happiness is entirely relative to your situation. There are happy/unhappy people in every rich/poor situation. A normal person might feel mortified if they lost their car, but some tribes wouldn't care. I appreciate a lot in life and I take things for granted. I think this kind of point is invalid in a contextual scenario.
I would expect real homeless people to be treated before I am. May I also remind you that being asked to leave or living somewhere that you can't also qualifies. I'm a milder form of this, but yes, i'm not really 'homeless'.

3. You're making a real assumption here. It's not fair to assume that I won't be getting a job. Even if I ignore that for a second, they almost ALL will eventually. What would you do in my situation? Get a job and leave uni for another time? Would that benefit the government more than if I get a job in a month? If I end up in that scenario as a graduate who can't get a job then i'll end up on JSA anyway, which kind of makes this argument invalid.

4. I don't know how much has been paid, but i'm not in much of a different position from most people my age. I don't know the true figure for how much it all costs the government for my existence, even much less so aggregated against my current contributions, but I can assure you that i've worked for a long time. I've almost always had a job, when I could have sponged.
No i'm not paying rent. I've discussed this already and don't want to repeat it.

The long walk was with my father, who wanted to discuss some things. It was necessary and not a usual hobby of mine. The gym work only constitutes a few hours a week in total and it's worth doing them. If I wait until I have a job to do exercise then i'll be in a worse position. Also i'll be less likely to have motivation to do work if I don't exercise, as somebody who has depression. It's Doctor's orders and it works.

You've ignored some of my earlier points. It takes two to get to this position. She's treated me badly, in turn I have a reluctance to be nice towards her. Oh it must be me that's at fault then? I guess I deserve to be kicked out.

Shiloe

skintandscared wrote: »

How productive. And how eloquently put. Could you just translate the last sentence into English for me please? thanks. :rotfl:

My comment clearly wasnt to you so dont see why you care so much nice to see you condone benefit fraud

Shiloe

Vanille wrote: »

Ok you want to open this can of worms; let's go for it.

I've decided to abuse the system for a small amount of time, with intention to make up for it later. This makes me SCUM? a criminal? Well let's look at Mr. Prime Minister, he admitted to taking drugs when he was younger, was he reprimanded for it? Is he looked down upon by society? NO. If I did it i'd be jailed. Let's look at Stephen Fry, he went to jail for credit card fraud, why isn't he looked down upon by society? He would have got away with it if he could. He's more than made up for it. He also admitted to taking drugs and nobody cares about that.
Once again i'll mention Winston Churchill; he was known for taking cocaine.
Stalin was celebrated despite murdering around 20 million people.

I'm not even in the same league as these people. So what, I abused benefits for a few weeks so that I could put myself in a better position that would in some way benefit the country. Do you really consider me the same as those people who have lots of children and buy houses with benefits for years? Have you ever lied on a CV? Have you ever kept your mouth shut when the woman at the counter gave you too much change?

It's interesting how the government can suddenly change their minds on something and demand that we pay higher taxes or stop doing something that we enjoy, but if I decide something I'm SCUM???

I don't think my reality is as twisted as yours.

Well those people are clearly less important than you Stalin was a tyrant if only his parents had used a condom as well as yours :rotfl:

Vanille_2

mikefoster wrote: »

Reading this topic, I felt slightly sympathetic initially. However, it is just annoying now. I am 25, my partner is 24, we have both completed university (worked while we were there) and are now working professionals owning our own home. When we finished uni, we had to go back to parents homes and abide by their rules and eat in the rooms they wanted us to and help out around the house. If we never, they complained. However, you have chosen to negate the reason you and your parents 'dislike' you. You also discuss how much you have achieved that other 24 year olds havent. The majority of my friends (all 24 ish) have graduated uni ,have jobs and are living their own lives, which seems to be more than you have achieved? I do understand some of your points but feel you are being slightly extreme.

Haha, I see what you mean, but let's skip forwards a month to when I DO have the degree. Even at this current moment, without the degree, I have a bunch of extra curricular activities that mean i've done than most uni students, well at least the ones that are at mine, that i've met. I can't give you a national comparison because I haven't met every single student, but that doesn't mean I can't have even a slightly accurate opinion. Also, students are the minority. Compared to most who have just gone with the currents of life, i've done a bit more.

I think this has gone out of hand a little bit. I've come across as somebody who thinks very highly of themselves, like i'm bragging. The reason i've gone on about myself is because i'm getting people who are extrapolating and telling me that i'm lazy and that I don't deserve respect etc..
I'm not saying I should be worshipped here, all i'm arguing is that I shouldn't be looked down upon. Is that so much to ask?

Also, you may not have the same problems with your parents.

Emmzi

Vanille wrote: »

1. Yes, I know there are people worse than I. . . .

And as predicted you have justified every point to yourself. How marvelous to have no faults!

Get off the internet and go and write an essay while I put you on ignore. Those who would rather moan than act get no sympathy from me.

bobajob_1966

Still failing to see how your mum has treated you so badly ...