Should I "out" my SIL's eating disorder?

justmel

mildred1978 wrote: »

Other family members find her hard to handle because she's so intolerant, but they keep their mouths shut.

If other family members know what she is like then i don't see the problem with you deleting her,if anyone asks why just tell them the truth but if she is that bad they probably wont need to ask at all.

You don't like her,she doesn't seem to like you either so there really is little point in sharing any of your life with her.

I have a mental illness myself,i would like to think that i have never offended anyone as a result of that and certainly wouldn't set out to in the sense of what she is doing but if for some reason i did cause offence i would rather be ignored or plainly told where to go than have someone take a swipe at my illness,i agree she sounds nasty but if you stoop that low i'm afraid it makes you no better.

coolcait

mildred1978 wrote: »

...So, would it be hideously wrong for me to reply to one of her comments with a line that is the equivalent of pushing her head through a wall? (I would say sticking her head down the loo but she clearly would feel at home with that).

Yes, it would.

You don't agree with/are shocked by some of the things she says. Fair enough. Either disagree with her, explain why you feel that way, or ignore her.

You don't agree with/are shocked by some of the things she does. Fair enough. Either tell her that, explain why you feel that way, or ignore her.

If you are concerned about her wellbeing, due to the suspected eating disorder (although 'concern about her wellbeing' doesn't come across in any of your posts) then tell her that. Enlist family support if you want/if you can.

I don't see any rational or jusitifiable reason for 'outing' her eating disorder. If she has one.

dirtysexymonkey

post the link to beat on her wall. that should shut her up for a while.

dark_lady

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Not a commonly held view, but I think that people who really struggle with their weight also have an eating disorder. Not really of help in the OP's problem, but all those who are supporting the SIL, perhaps they should also support the 'fat' people she is putting down.

Well said. After all her remarks could cause someone else to develop an eating disorder.
This is what happened to the singer Karen Carpenter after a journalist described her as chubby in a review piece.

The reason it is not a commonly held view that overweight people have an eating disorder is because society isnt ready to face this fact yet. Much easier to point out how horrible they look isnt it? After all many discriminations have been outlawed but discrimination against overweight people hasnt been outlawed so they are the last safe prejudice and we wouldnt want to lose that would we?!

Lipbalm_2

Seriously how can you possible defend someone who joked that they would sit on someone with a suspected eating disorder to shut them up. Obviously making generalised comments about your hatred of "fat" are hurtful and rude, but if anyone of you had any insight to what some people with eating disorders, not all ofcourse feel about that then you would understand that it is just one of they symptoms. Yes this obviously needs to be challanged and treated if her health is such a concern, but the OP does not like this Woman end of and just wants to use her faults/weakness ie E.D against her which is absoloutely disgusting.

dirtysexymonkey

Lipbalm wrote: »

Seriously how can you possible defend someone who joked that they would sit on someone with a suspected eating disorder to shut them up. Obviously making generalised comments about your hatred of "fat" are hurtful and rude, but if anyone of you had any insight to what some people with eating disorders, not all ofcourse feel about that then you would understand that it is just one of they symptoms. Yes this obviously needs to be challanged and treated if her health is such a concern, but the OP does not like this Woman end of and just wants to use her faults/weakness ie E.D against her which is absoloutely disgusting.

but if the op had an ed then youd be defending her to the hilt! double standards! thats absolutely disgusting.

Tish_P

Unfriend her (or block her or whatever) on Facebook and as far as is humanly possible don't go anywhere she is. She does sound like a fairly nasty person to be around, but you can't change her, you aren't in a position to help her and you don't like her so any sudden concern for her wellbeing will come across as fake. If anyone asks why you're ignoring her, and they probably won't, say as casually as possible that you'd rather not discuss it and immediately change the subject. People who make you feel bad do not belong in your life.

Do NOT "out" her. What good could it possibly do?

nottslass_2

mildred1978 wrote: »

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
.

Almost every day she posts some horrible status about "fat" people to her facebook account, presumably to get some attention for herself. I may be a little sensitive to it because I'm carrying some of the weight I put on during pregnancy,

mildred1978 wrote: »

She's 5ft 5 and a size 4 clothes (and shrinking). How would you describe her? Petite doesn't really cut it.

I'm in no way jealous, thanks. I've been a size 8-10 (I'm 5ft 10) and am quite happy being a 16 most of the time. I have perfect teeth and great t1ts.

Not only do you come across as not very nice - after all you've shown no compassion to someone who may or may not have a serious illness,you want to "out" her on FB just because she apparently needs "taking down a peg or 8"
BTW are also contradicting yourself somewhat - how can you firstly describe yourself as "still carrying a bit of baby weight",next state that you are a size 8 -10 and then declare that you are usually quite happy as a size 16 !!

victory

Is the same sis from the other thread that your sis was getting huge amounts of money from your parents with diamonds and all sorts and you and yours were getting very little in comparison?

Plans_all_plans

Victory, it's her Sister in Law (her brother in law's girlfriend who they rarely see in real life) not her sister that she's talking about.

And nottslass, I read that post as to say mildred's currently carrying some extra weight at the moment as she's a size 16, but she has been an 8-10 in the past.