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Should I "out" my SIL's eating disorder?
mildred1978
Posts: 3,367 Forumite
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
I am so p1ssed off with my SIL right now. She's a tiny scrap of a thing who has far too much time on her hands and thinks it's clever to slag off overweight people.
Almost every day she posts some horrible status about "fat" people to her facebook account, presumably to get some attention for herself. I may be a little sensitive to it because I'm carrying some of the weight I put on during pregnancy, but I can't help but feel she needs knocking down a peg or 8.
Thing is, she's quite obviously bulimic. She has telltale tooth decay and was hospitalised recently with kidney stones - common in bulimics. She posted several statuses about the "fat nurses". Her lashing out at "fat" people is clearly in response to her own self loathing, but it's beginning to get on my t1ts. She has a foul mouth, no career prospects to speak of (has been sacked from 7 jobs this year already) and seems to think she's being clever.
So, would it be hideously wrong for me to reply to one of her comments with a line that is the equivalent of pushing her head through a wall? (I would say sticking her head down the loo but she clearly would feel at home with that).
Apologies to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder, by the way. I would usually be the first to help, but this girl just gets my goat.
I am so p1ssed off with my SIL right now. She's a tiny scrap of a thing who has far too much time on her hands and thinks it's clever to slag off overweight people.
Almost every day she posts some horrible status about "fat" people to her facebook account, presumably to get some attention for herself. I may be a little sensitive to it because I'm carrying some of the weight I put on during pregnancy, but I can't help but feel she needs knocking down a peg or 8.
Thing is, she's quite obviously bulimic. She has telltale tooth decay and was hospitalised recently with kidney stones - common in bulimics. She posted several statuses about the "fat nurses". Her lashing out at "fat" people is clearly in response to her own self loathing, but it's beginning to get on my t1ts. She has a foul mouth, no career prospects to speak of (has been sacked from 7 jobs this year already) and seems to think she's being clever.
So, would it be hideously wrong for me to reply to one of her comments with a line that is the equivalent of pushing her head through a wall? (I would say sticking her head down the loo but she clearly would feel at home with that).
Apologies to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder, by the way. I would usually be the first to help, but this girl just gets my goat.
Science adjusts its views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.
:A Tim Minchin :A
Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.
:A Tim Minchin :A
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Comments
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Personally, Id just 'unfriend her' on Facebook & live your own life. That wasn't meant to be harsh to you, but the jobs story says it all & sometimes things/people like this just aren't worth the blood pressure.
C xx0 -
Skint_Catt wrote: »Personally, Id just 'unfriend her' on Facebook & live your own life. That wasn't meant to be harsh to you, but the jobs story says it all & sometimes things/people like this just aren't worth the blood pressure.
C xx
If she weren't family I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I'm not sure it's that easy.
Science adjusts its views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.
:A Tim Minchin :A
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If she really does have an eating disorder, then she's suffering from a mental illness and I don't think that any comments you'd make to her will do any good. It might seem like she's gloating etc but she may just be doing it to justify to herself what she's doing. Making snide comments back to her won't help. You could tell her that you find her comments offensive and then maybe inbox her a link to www.b-eat.co.uk and then delete her from facebook.0
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mildred1978 wrote: »If she weren't family I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I'm not sure it's that easy.
Antagonising her will do nothing but cause a huge family row though, so commenting in a sarky way isn't going to help either!0 -
As someone who has suffered with an ED on and off for well over 11 years, i would say NO, dont 'out' her ED in front of others.
I understand how annoyed you are with her ranting about 'fat' people, but please try and remember that she is not a nasty person, she has a mental helath illness!
Although she probably comes across as harsh and cocky, actually she is so conscious about her body/weight that her slating 'fat' people is just a defense mechanism to tell herself that SHE is OK. PLEASE dont 'out' her, you will end up doing so much damage that you wouldnt even be aware of.0 -
mildred1978 wrote: »:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
I can't help but feel she needs knocking down a peg or 8.
This is what makes it wrong IMO. If you'd wanted to discuss with family to try and get her help but otherwise you are just being mean.
She clearly needs help not taking down a peg!
Can you not just pick her up on her comments politely e.g. that is a hurtful thing to say/why would you say that about people trying to help? etc.0 -
I understand how annoyed you are with her ranting about 'fat' people, but please try and remember that she is not a nasty person, she has a mental helath illness!
She coud be both!...much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »She coud be both!
I agree, she could be a nasty person too, but its more common for those with ED's to be nasty about other peoples weight as a defense mechanism, or to make themselves feel like they are normal.0 -
Plans_all_plans wrote: »If she really does have an eating disorder, then she's suffering from a mental illness and I don't think that any comments you'd make to her will do any good. It might seem like she's gloating etc but she may just be doing it to justify to herself what she's doing. Making snide comments back to her won't help. You could tell her that you find her comments offensive and then maybe inbox her a link to www.b-eat.co.uk and then delete her from facebook.
She's pretty intolerant to be honest, and that's what I really hate. In the past 2 weeks there have been "digs" about the welsh (I'm welsh), jews, people who holiday in the Canary Islands, fat women exercising, fat women not exercising, northerners, people in wheelchairs (we've wheelchair users in the family), the chinese (nation, not takeaway), dying children and single people. She was rapturous about using the mirror in her work's disabled loos for so long so that a disabled person had to wait and he was contorted in agony by the time she came out.
Looking at it like that she's actually a horrible person. I'd love to be able to have nothing to do with her, but can't, IYSWIM.Science adjusts its views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.
:A Tim Minchin :A
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As someone who has suffered with an ED on and off for well over 11 years, i would say NO, dont 'out' her ED in front of others.
I understand how annoyed you are with her ranting about 'fat' people, but please try and remember that she is not a nasty person, she has a mental helath illness!
Although she probably comes across as harsh and cocky, actually she is so conscious about her body/weight that her slating 'fat' people is just a defense mechanism to tell herself that SHE is OK. PLEASE dont 'out' her, you will end up doing so much damage that you wouldnt even be aware of.
i agree with this, except that someone can both have a mental illness and genuinely be a horrible person too! they are not mutually exclusive
anyway, i would just unfriend her and make it clear to your family in diplomatic ways that you no longer enjoy her company0
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