Should I "out" my SIL's eating disorder?

victory

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Victory, it's her Sister in Law (her brother in law's girlfriend who they rarely see in real life) not her sister that she's talking about.

And nottslass, I read that post as to say mildred's currently carrying some extra weight at the moment as she's a size 16, but she has been an 8-10 in the past.

Thank you:D

peachyprice

mildred1978 wrote: »

Because it's the only way the family connect with each other. They don't bother with visiting or phoning, or even e-mailing, so pictures of the kids etc go on FB for everyone. It's not how my family works, so it's a bit odd, but it's the way they operate.

So it's not the way your family works, and your OH, who's family this girl is, doesn't facebook, So why are you following/friends (whatever it is on that bloomin site) of his family that he has no interest in following himself.

Just delete her and get on with your life, it's not rocket science really.

Imp

Let's not forget that people with mental illnesses adversely affect the people around them, not just themselves. It sounds like the OP is suffering from her sister in law's mental illness (if she has one) and is in danger of exposing some less pleasant character traits. Luckily she had the sense to express herself on an anonymous internet forum rather than on a public facebook page.

shellsuit

peachyprice wrote: »

So it's not the way your family works, and your OH, who's family this girl is, doesn't facebook, So why are you following/friends (whatever it is on that bloomin site) of his family that he has no interest in following himself.

Just delete her and get on with your life, it's not rocket science really.

Good point

victory

peachyprice wrote: »

So it's not the way your family works, and your OH, who's family this girl is, doesn't facebook, So why are you following/friends (whatever it is on that bloomin site) of his family that he has no interest in following himself.

Just delete her and get on with your life, it's not rocket science really.

Simples:D:D

justmel

She has no right to use any mental health prolem she has as an excuse to be nasty and vindictive but by the same measure you really have no right to use this problem to attack her for what she is doing.

Ignore,block,delete,tell her exactly what you think of her comments and that you don't care if you never speak to her again but i just think using her eating disorder is stooping way too low.

If she didn't have this disorder how would you deal with her nasty comments? Treat her in the exact same way as you would any other fb 'friend' who was acting like this,you don't need to bring her health problems into it,tell her straight.

mildred1978

poet123 wrote: »

To out her would be a taste of her own medicine and although I would not do it I can see why it would be a temptation. We reap what we sow. Sometimes a reality check and an understanding of how others view things can be invaluable in these situations, and you can bet the OP is not the only one to find the comments tactless and inappropriate. So, it is probably only a matter of time before someone does out her.

Thank you. I won't be outing her, but I will have a word the next time I see her.

Tish_P

No, don't "have a word". You're not her doctor and you're not her friend. You're not competent to make diagnoses about her health or eating habits. Get her off your Facebook and then for heaven's sake leave her be.

Lipbalm_2

For goodness sake Mildred, leave her alone cut her out of your life and get on with yours. You are an adult, behave like one and do the best thing for both of you. Seriously how hard is it!

Crisp_£_note

You have free will to be friends with who you like! Just seems your prolonging your own hatred campaign for the attention by carrying on either draw the line or be compassionate, kind and caring.

You can try and help her quietly without 'outing' her which would be more helpful and beneficial not just to her but to you in a family sense. No need to get sarky or your back up over it. Maybe it is friends who understand she needs? Give her space and time just keep telling her you understand and are there for her and she will speak the truth eventualy. Just dont harass her or she will mistrust you.

On the other hand you could just agree to disagree and keep your distance. I dont like my sister in law much and my brother in law is heading the same way thanks to her. I just stay civil and friendly at arms length and let them get on with it to be honest.

You have to remind yourself at the end of it all one day these people may just be the only surviving family you have left. Then what are your opinions going to be like? Would you realy deny them for the sake of a petty argument? Puts it all into perspective.

Show love and be friendly help as much as you can without it being an imposing on yourself when asked then you can do no wrong. They can only make trouble for themselves and you wont be seen as the bad one in the family.

What would you want in her 'shoes'?
There is no wrong or correct path if we find we made a mistake try something else. Do not judge or be judged for failure is only someone elses judgement. Unconditional love heals the world and is good for karmic credits !! :A
Amen to that :rotfl:
Sorry its not a lecture just my way of helping and thinking.