PLEASE HELP - How to let a dying man down gently

ash28

Ravenlady wrote: »

Has his treatment caused him to loose his hair? I am only going by my experience of my brother and the people I met whilst going with him to have treatment but most lost their hair, along with eyebrows, most body hair and 3 of them their eyelashes ( i didnt want to stare so could have been more) The only ones that didnt lose their hair was a lady having chemo after a molar pregnancy and a man with a melanoma.

What are you OH thoughts on this?

*Sorry I know I sound like im on a witchhunt

My mother didn't lose her hair during her chemotherapy - not a strand - she was so paranoid about it she took a small shopping bag with her every where she went (it had her wig in it) just in case her hair all fell out at once and she was on the bus or similar.

Most people having chemo with my mother lost their hair too.

She also looked remarkably well through both the treatment and the illness, she looked ill (ravaged) near the end. But up until a few weeks before she died you wouldn't have thought there was anything wrong with her.

cjj_2

Hi everyone and thanks for the continued support.
Ive hardly seen him now in a week. He just popped in briefly one tea time but oh was going out to do a job. Also oh told him one night he was taking me out for a meal as kids were out, so he is learning. Friends were round on Sat night so he didnt call. I even asked oh if he was ok as he had not been round. Hoping he has not seen this thread lol x

reeree

cjj wrote: »

Hi everyone and thanks for the continued support.
Ive hardly seen him now in a week. He just popped in briefly one tea time but oh was going out to do a job. Also oh told him one night he was taking me out for a meal as kids were out, so he is learning. Friends were round on Sat night so he didnt call. I even asked oh if he was ok as he had not been round. Hoping he has not seen this thread lol x

it sounds like he's getting the message at last, lets hope it stays that way

Seanymph

oh well done you - you must be so relieved!

tifnstav

has there been any sign of him? i'm intrigued about whether his visits started up again...

Seanymph

me too. I keep logging on to check.

reeree

Seanymph wrote: »

me too. I keep logging on to check.

me too, cjj have you heard from him lately

reeree

cjj wrote: »

Hi
My oh has recently got quite friendly with a man who had been told around March time that he only had 2 months to live. Even though neither of us had known him that long we were devasted for the poor man. He is a lovely person and this came as quite a shock to everyone. Anyway as the months rolled by he has started visiting our house more and more. He has a wife and 3 grown up kids but I dont think they are showing him much compassion. For the past month he has been at ours an awful lot, sometimes not leaving until 11.30 pm. When he leaves my oh then has to pop in the bath as he has a dirty job. Last night when the man was over I said to oh "jump in the bath before it goes cold" and I really thought he would leave at that point but he sat and waited. Ive had to start serving tea when he leaves too as he has such a big appetite and we are on a tight budget. Sometimes by the time he has left my oh is past it and does not want tea. He often brings his 2 dogs to visit too and I also have a dog so it can get quite hetic. We have 2 kids and I also have severe ocd and have started to worry about the effects of his chemo on my family. On his notes I noticed it said about avoiding sharing toilets etc for a week after chemo and he is usually back at ours after 2 days. This makes me feel sick with worry. Sometimes when we have been out all day he turns up 5 mins after we get home and shares our tea with us. I have said to oh he must sort this out as we could have years of this and he just says he cant say anything to him. I do understand why he feels like that and I feel like a really bad person. However I told oh I dont mind him visiting a couple of times a week for an hour or so but I am so tired of entertaining all the time. Sorry for the long post. Can anyone help the last thing I would want is to upset this lovely man I would not be able to sleep if I did. TIA x

anyone else wondering what happened in the end

3v3

reeree wrote: »

anyone else wondering what happened in the end

Me ...........

Secretdebts

Me too:o:o