Would you ask your son to leave home?

victory

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

i cant work you out op. one post your full of venom about him and the next singing his praises. on the one hand you say he expects something for nothing and the other tell us how you make money from the taxpayer for keeping him!

whats clear is that like all your other threads about your son, you will blame everything wrong with him (in your eyes) on him, or society or everyone else and not accept any responsibility. thats your problem and until you finally understand that you as his parents are responsible, nothing will change. youll just be another parent who doesnt instil proper values when you should and then throw your child out without preparing them and forcing them to effectivlely parent themselves.

sixth thread? and your still in the same situation. might be time to accept your part in all of this? dont bother to answer, i already know what youll say. it never changes. broken record.

I

WELL YES AND NO, I have resentment towards him for him being as he is but I also cannot hide behind him being my first born and wishing the absolute best.
I am not sure how I make money from the taxpayer?

Never knew it was 6th thread, welcome all suggestions, you are very welcome not to read them if i am upsetting you which seems to be the case, repeat I never made him money grabbing, gadget needy, I have to have for my 18th not one mother on the land would go up to a son and tell them they were getting this and that because it is new and flashy and they want them to have it, at least not me when I have not got it to give

Enterprise_1701C

If he doesn't like the dinner, hand him the ingredients and a cook book.

When my kids complained I did not vacuum their rooms well enough I stopped doing it, haven't done them in years.

If he demands payment for things, turn it around and say something like OK, you can have the money I pay for your football subs, but you'll have to pay the subs yourself, or if he asks you to do something tell him "not unless you pay me".

My son used to be like this. Take comfort that a lot of it is almost certainly hormonal. Nothing is ever good enough at that age, everyone is getting at them. Most lads are similar to some extent, and they do grow out of it. My son is now settled down, living with his girlfriend and they have a lovely son. He is working two jobs to help save a deposit (she's working as a nanny) and they are nearly there. He still plays football, and is starting to appreciate exactly how much we did for him.

It is worth battling on, just don't give in to him so much and make sure he knows where he stands, that you haven't got pockets deep enough to give him everything, and if he got a job he could save for what he wanted.

Don't take the excuse that he can't work weekends because of his football, my son managed it. He had a job at a local supermarket, worked three evening and weekends too, just got shifts to fit in around the football.

victory

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

why should he when his parents are paid to keep him? and i bet they wont be giving up the benefits when they throw him out!

serious question though. the op receives money for nothing and her son thinks he should get the same.

I am not claiming and nor is he is that what you mean? I never suggested he went to the job centre and claimed, more that is where it is leading, go to the job centre and claim that is all that is left type remark, benefits? You mean child tax? Others no

dirtysexymonkey

victory wrote: »

I

WELL YES AND NO, I have resentment towards him for him being as he is but I also cannot hide behind him being my first born and wishing the absolute best.
I am not sure how I make money from the taxpayer?

Never knew it was 6th thread, welcome all suggestions, you are very welcome not to read them if i am upsetting you which seems to be the case, repeat I never made him money grabbing, gadget needy, I have to have for my 18th not one mother on the land would go up to a son and tell them they were getting this and that because it is new and flashy and they want them to have it, at least not me when I have not got it to give

no child benefits and tax credits then. you said you received them earlier in the thread. make your mind up.

Blackpool_Saver

and child benefit, if you don't get that you can't get the other ones

dirtysexymonkey

victory wrote: »

I am not claiming and nor is he is that what you mean? I never suggested he went to the job centre and claimed, more that is where it is leading, go to the job centre and claim that is all that is left type remark, benefits? You mean child tax? Others no

you get child benefit and child tax credits for him as hes still in education. easily a few hundred quid a month. when you throw him out, youll stop claiming i take it? or will you continue to claim this fraudulently?

its all very well making out how hard done by you think you are, but considering your actually being paid to keep him, you should stop moaning!

victory

Jane_Blackford wrote: »

If he doesn't like the dinner, hand him the ingredients and a cook book.

When my kids complained I did not vacuum their rooms well enough I stopped doing it, haven't done them in years.

If he demands payment for things, turn it around and say something like OK, you can have the money I pay for your football subs, but you'll have to pay the subs yourself, or if he asks you to do something tell him "not unless you pay me".

My son used to be like this. Take comfort that a lot of it is almost certainly hormonal. Nothing is ever good enough at that age, everyone is getting at them. Most lads are similar to some extent, and they do grow out of it. My son is now settled down, living with his girlfriend and they have a lovely son. He is working two jobs to help save a deposit (she's working as a nanny) and they are nearly there. He still plays football, and is starting to appreciate exactly how much we did for him.

It is worth battling on, just don't give in to him so much and make sure he knows where he stands, that you haven't got pockets deep enough to give him everything, and if he got a job he could save for what he wanted.

Don't take the excuse that he can't work weekends because of his football, my son managed it. He had a job at a local supermarket, worked three evening and weekends too, just got shifts to fit in around the football.

I have to say that we pay for his football subs and barely ought else because OH did say that leaving him with no money at all is too much, basically we are lucky, he is not into drink, drugs, sleepring around, has a steady gf and although he has issues there are worse teenagers out there, he does not go out all night ot clubs, does not have a wrong crowd so on the face of it we should be relived, happy and thankful which we are but we have problems also.

So to give him absolutely nothing OH says no, turns to crime etc to get it, rather than a job etc so no football subs stay, basics stay

dirtysexymonkey

victory wrote: »

I have to say that we pay for his football subs and barely ought else because OH did say that leaving him with no money at all is too much, basically we are lucky, he is not into drink, drugs, sleepring around, has a steady gf and although he has issues there are worse teenagers out there, he does not go out all night ot clubs, does not have a wrong crowd so on the face of it we should be relived, happy and thankful which we are but we have problems also.

So to give him absolutely nothing OH says no, turns to crime etc to get it, rather than a job etc so no football subs stay, basics stay

given the amount you get from the rest of us, we pay for him, not you. something you should bear in mind while moaning about him!

victory

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

you get child benefit and child tax credits for him as hes still in education. easily a few hundred quid a month. when you throw him out, youll stop claiming i take it? or will you continue to claim this fraudulently?

its all very well making out how hard done by you think you are, but considering your actually being paid to keep him, you should stop moaning!

I am positive I get less than £50 for him in tax credit it halved when he was 16, went down a bit more when he was 17 and I have a letterto fill in for when he is 18, I could be wrong and for that I will apologize, not trying to be deceitful but I am sure that is all I get, then I get for the 11 year old , I will check my paper work but other than that I have nothing coming in for the eldest?

Blackpool_Saver

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

you get child benefit and child tax credits for him as hes still in education. easily a few hundred quid a month. when you throw him out, youll stop claiming i take it? or will you continue to claim this fraudulently?

its all very well making out how hard done by you think you are, but considering your actually being paid to keep him, you should stop moaning!

What exactly is your age/position in life? I would be interested to hear