public gym showers

globetraveller

Storm in a teacup? Bet that wouldn't be said if it had been a man in the women's changing rooms.

Emmzi

globetraveller wrote: »

Storm in a teacup? Bet that wouldn't be said if it had been a man in the women's changing rooms.

Well in gender politics men are still in a position of greater power so the potential for abuse is generally greater, but that's a whole study module.

I think a bloke *lurking by the wall not staring at people* waiting for 5 8 year old girls might actually have been offered a hand by the other women there. That would match my experience of other mums, anyway.

Although I cannot recall seeing a man out on his own with that many children; maybe others have experience of that and can comment?

MsBlonde

Ahhh I remember going swimming at school, we use to wear our costumes under our school uniform to save time lol We sometimes had our male head teacher come in but he'd open the door and talk through the gap, so not to look in to tell us to behave ourselves (obviously we were noisey when acting up)

thunderbird

Emmzi wrote: »

Although I cannot recall seeing a man out on his own with that many children

Are you being serious?!

gratefulforhelp_2

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

i wasnt sure where to put this but this is the family board so will probably get responses from mums and dads which will help.

bit of a weird experience this morning in the changing room. a woman walked into the mens changing room with five boys (maybe 7/8ish) and refused to leave. would other mums think thats acceptable?

I see her difficulty, but she just passed it on to the men in the changing room.

So, no. There must have been a creative solution, e.g. member of staff as chaperone?

dirtysexymonkey

Emmzi wrote: »

Well in gender politics men are still in a position of greater power so the potential for abuse is generally greater, but that's a whole study module.

I think a bloke *lurking by the wall not staring at people* waiting for 5 8 year old girls might actually have been offered a hand by the other women there. That would match my experience of other mums, anyway.

Although I cannot recall seeing a man out on his own with that many children; maybe others have experience of that and can comment?

thought so. you look for all manner of excuses for women and men are always the aggressive abuser. you need your head testing.

dirtysexymonkey

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

I see her difficulty, but she just passed it on to the men in the changing room.

So, no. There must have been a creative solution, e.g. member of staff as chaperone?

or the pool changing room, with its cubicles. which she had to walk through anyway. strange woman she was.

dirtysexymonkey

globetraveller wrote: »

Storm in a teacup? Bet that wouldn't be said if it had been a man in the women's changing rooms.

hed have been arrested and labeled an attempted rapist! but we all know women would never do anything like that! not in the heads of people who think women are always the victim.

JCP

I'm constantly on the other end of this problem at my local leisure centre (though not entirely in the same way).
We generally have one woman dragging 3 or 4 boys into the Ladies changing rooms to use the loos, because they don't want to leave them on their own and they refuse to leave - why the lazy mares don't take them specifically to the loos rather than the combination loo/changing room/showers I really don't know.
I've been made to feel uncomfortable by some of the comments the boys have made, and my friend's teenage daughters to the point that they've started crying - just what they need when they are already struggling with the changes their bodies are undergoing.

Do I have sympathy? I might for very young boys ie < 6yrs or so, but in general, no I don't. In at least one case, the boys ranged from about 8-9 to at least 12 (identified by the secondary school uniform being worn).
It is their problem which they choose to spread around instead of dealing with it themselves.

I've even had one of the women complain that I didn't have any clothes on when she came in!
When they are beyond stupid like that, what can you do? You certainly can't reason with them.

It's this whole stranger danger nonsense that everyone's bought into - 99% of peados operate within their own family - that's where the danger really lies.

dirtysexymonkey

Emmzi wrote: »

I think that is quite aggressive. And doesn't help her if she is concerned about taking boys of that age into a naked lady area.

So the message I would take from that is "you are wrong and I think you are stupid." You also haven't explained there are mixed or cubicle areas, just that "this belongs to the men." Very territorial. There isn't actually any useful information in what you said.

I wouldn't co-operate with you. I'd feel awkward, but I wouldn't want to do anything to make you happy, and you haven't told me there is a mixed area. I'm still between a rock and a hard place.

A different approach would be, "Hi, look, we tend not to be comfortable having women in the men's communal area. I can see you have your hands full there with the boys - did you know there is a mixed area with cubicals just over there? Do you need a hand herding the guys over?" a) I know there is a better alternative b) you're helping not stomoing your feet at me c) you may even be smiling. I'd move.

You catch more wasps with honey than vinegar.

youd take that message because its not a million miles from the truth in your case. anyone who walks passed the large signs showing the way to the pool changing rooms is a moron. she was in the wrong. youd obviously be the first person to call the police if a man had stood watching you in the shower at the gym.

i dont know what world you live in (probably a sedated one) but in the real world when someone is told that they are obviously in the wrong place, they leave, and the person who is having his privacy invaded is perfectly entitled to not have to be subject to an audience. and i certainly have no plans to offer to help anyone with their noisy, ill-behaved brats while im starkers, knackered and got a head full of shampoo!

and if i as being aggressive, she wouldnt have just stood there gawping and letting the children mess about.