Kids coming over to play with mine and expecting food and drink!!

victory

aeuerby wrote:

I took the OP to mean that she sent a child home for her tea because they were hungry and the OP had not pre-arranged with the childs parents to give them their tea.

YES YES AND YES YES YES!!:beer: :j

I also took it to mean that she was giving another example of when her child has a biscuit she also gives one to the friend, the same with a packet of crisps and in doing this frequently that the costs mount up.

YES AND YES:j :j

I also understood that the OP has asked her child not to keep offering the neighbourhood children snacks and drinks, I guess it to go along the lines of:
OP Child to Friend: Would you like a packet of crisps?
Friend: yes please.
OP Child to Friend: Would you like a glass of coke?
Friend: Yes please.

Yes the child is being very generous and accommodating in offering these things but really it shouldn't be up to a young child to do it it should the the parents choice.

YES AND YES:j :j :j

I didn't find the post in any way misleading.


THANK YOU :j :j
In answer to the OP's question, yes she did the right thing. If a child is hungry and there is no pre-arrangement for food (let's bear in mind that the timing of the OP's post was tea time) then by all means send them home for their tea. I would do exactly the same thing rather than fill them with snacks just to "put them on"

You are not a cafe or fast food restaurant!

THANK YOU no I am not a cafe!!:j :rotfl: :rotfl:

Spendless

victory wrote:

every night straight after school, my son goes with his elder brother and the little girl goes with her elder sister, live 5 doors way, yes they are all around 6/7 age group...xxxx

straight after school? eg they don't go home first then call? Is this where your problem lies, mine are always hungry straight after school and all my friends say the same about theirs. Are they walking home with their parents? What about saying to them if you want to call give me about 10 minutes so young victory has had time to change his clothes anbd have a drink and snack.

victory

yes you are right spendless, the kids amongst themselves arrange it in school hours which is fine, sometimes yes they do rush home and change but that is what it is rush, change, door bell ring....
Very good point about the ten mins, the excitement of it all overides them taking the time to get fed and watered in their own house before coming over lol!! xxx

Edit- It might be useful to know in my case I can see my boys school from my back garden so it is very close indeed!! So by 3.05 they are all in here!! xxx

Idiophreak

Sorry, seem to have caught onto this one a little late, but here are my thoughts anyway:

1) It makes me feel very lucky that as a child my parents could always afford to give me and my friends food/drink when we were hungry/thirsty.

2) In terms of whether you should feed them: If it's going to spoil their dinner I wouldn't, but if they're eating with you or dinner is a while off, I'd have no problem giving them a snack if they were hungry. It would seem slightly neglectful not to. Once you take the child into your care, for however short a time, you're responsible for its wellbeing. If that means the child needs feeding, then sobeit.

3) I just can't see how this cost is *really* going to add up that much? Say two children come in 5 times per week and want some crisps. That's 10 packets of crisps. Which can only cost a pound or so, surely?? Biscuits will cost even less - a 30p pack of biscuits would last a week...Even if you had 8 children for a snack 7 days a week I can't see it costing a fiver?

4) I wholeheartedly agree with play2day - I'd much rather my children were in my house playing safely where I could keep an eye on them. If a packet of biscuits and a multipack of crisps keeps them coming back all week, it's got to be money well spent?

Bibendum

The rule at our house is very clear and the same for all.

Coming home from school, there is a plate of fruit (large!:D).
When and only when the plate of fruit is empty, the children are allowed 2 biscuits. And that's the end of the matter.
Water is always on offer, and sometimes juice. My kids know the drill so that they can tell their guests if they are new. I never had any issue.

There are no other kids around, so they only come on invitation anyway.

aeuerby

Idiophreak wrote:

2) In terms of whether you should feed them: If it's going to spoil their dinner I wouldn't, but if they're eating with you or dinner is a while off, I'd have no problem giving them a snack if they were hungry. It would seem slightly neglectful not to. Once you take the child into your care, for however short a time, you're responsible for its wellbeing. If that means the child needs feeding, then sobeit.

I don't agree. If a child has not been invited to tea (as in the OP's case) or whatever the host has absolutley no responsibility for feeding the guest.

Idiophreak wrote:

3) I just can't see how this cost is *really* going to add up that much? Say two children come in 5 times per week and want some crisps. That's 10 packets of crisps. Which can only cost a pound or so, surely?? Biscuits will cost even less - a 30p pack of biscuits would last a week...Even if you had 8 children for a snack 7 days a week I can't see it costing a fiver?

When you are on a very tight budget then £5 is a huge amount even £1 is big. What about when it happens every week? Using your example of 8 children 7 days a week at for example £3 thats £12 a month. I hardly call that a small amount.

victory

I have to agree with aeuerby- it all adds up and if there is not that much there to play with in the first place it all counts.
It is as much about the cost than it is the facts which were the friend had not been invited for tea and so I had not costed her into it/made anything for her, had she been invited, no probs whole different scenario but it still has to be the mum that feeds her own if her little one is hungry not me!! xxx

We never have fizzy pop in the house, there is always a full diluted juice fridge canister which is there for anyone to use, that comes to next to nothing cost so have no probs that the kids can get a drink or plain water as you say

newcook

Victory I have to agree with you!!!! send the kids home if they are hungry! the government wonders why young children are obese - the answer is here on these pages!! kids go to their friends house and have sweets, chocolates, crisps, pop, biscuits etc and then go home half an hour later and have tea/dinner - more than likely because they have been good and cleared their plates they have pudding and later on they will probably have more biscuits etc.
I'm not saying all parents give their children and their childrens friends the sugary stuff mentioned above but even things like fruit shouldn't be given without consent of the childs parent (who you would probably see outside the school gates) purely because it may ruin their appetite (contradiction of above I know :rolleyes: ) or the child may have an allergy which they wont think to mention to you.

black-saturn

Victory - I'd like to ask where are the children's parents while their children are at yours? Do you ever speak to them or get a thankyou or an invitation to their house? I bet they are at work?

Gabriel-Ernest

If the 6-year old has escaped the care of the person looking after them while the parents are at work, then obviously it's an issue to be addressed. One would hope someone would be at the child's home - surely no parent would leave a 6-year old at home alone?