Kids coming over to play with mine and expecting food and drink!!

victory

pancakes seems a great idea and fun also because they can get involved if it was for a dinner play time.
thnks pavlos for the kind words, I did feel a mixture of guilt for sending the child home to her own mother for her to be fed and also a bit of 'hang on a min it is not my job to feed you, I cannot afford it and do not have to'!!

Rachie_B

victory wrote:

pancakes seems a great idea and fun also because they can get involved if it was for a dinner play time.
thnks pavlos for the kind words, I did feel a mixture of guilt for sending the child home to her own mother for her to be fed and also a bit of 'hang on a min it is not my job to feed you, I cannot afford it and do not have to'!!

def dont feel guilty

the thing is do you tell these parents that the child/ren are asking for food all the time ?

id maybe mention it,they might be well about it if they knew !

and then again some children are just rude and/or greedy

lottee

Lysiane wrote:

As for the good stuff being only for your kid , I really think that is wrong!!!

I would be ashamed to hear my dd say no , this is the good stuff , you can only get the cheap thing !!!what kind of message that give to children except being greedy and keep the good for themselves , first time I heard such a comment , that is out of this world in my opinion.

I don't think that the other posters kids would actually say this, I think they just mean 'this is what is for you & your friends when they are here'. I don't think there is anything wrong with this, that's why children have rules & boundaries. You have to know when to draw the line, otherwise you'll end up buying extra each week - just in case johnny from up the raod decides to pop in !

victory

Lysiane wrote:

Yes she does and YES I tell that she shouldn`t !!!
BEAR IN MIND THAT SHE IS ONLY 5 !!!!

I don`t put anyone in the spot because my dd only goes to people who knows kid do ask for things , all kid do the same , that what we are calling THEM KID !!!

Also I don`t like her doing it because I think it is rude of course , but she doesn`t really understand why it is rude to ask please can I have a drink/biscuit , when I am there and she ask I always tell that she shouldn`t ask .

And every kid who came to my house always did ask for some food/drink and I don`t start to imagine that their parents are sending their kid hungry or anything I know that what kid do.

As for the good stuff being only for your kid , I really think that is wrong!!!

I would be ashamed to hear my dd say no , this is the good stuff , you can only get the cheap thing !!!what kind of message that give to children except being greedy and keep the good for themselves , first time I heard such a comment , that is out of this world in my opinion.

In my home we always give the best to our guest , who ever they are , adult or kid !!!and I really strongly believe that this the right thing to do.

My husband and I are working hard also 6 days a week , that doesn`t mean we have to behave like that.

Again victory I really do not mean to offend you neither to criticise you in any way , and understand that you have a tight budget with kid , but to me that is wrong .

Would I be able to ask politely if you do not wish to offend or criticise me in any way as you say would it be possible to 'tone' down your posts as they seem to be coming across that way...:D
Thank you in advance for that:cool:
What I am trying to say is that yes I felt bad for sending the child home hungry to be fed by her mother and not feed her here, she is a lovely kid and gets on fine with my boy who is 6, one year older than yours and who I absolutely know for a fact would not ask for food or drink in someone elses house because I would not tolerate that behaviour, yes he is 6, yes he is a kid, yes he is little , yes he gets hungry and thirsty when he plays in this house, other peoples houses and everywhere but if that happens he knows to come home and ask me his mum for his needs to be met, here in this house.
no child would say this is the good stuff here for me and me alone and you can't have none, it is not like that what the OP are trying to say is that when they are out of sight and in their own houses, my child can have the good stuff but if caught on the hop by a child asking for food or drink to money save as htis is what it is all about give the child the other as it is not my responsibility to take care of another persons child.
I see what you are saying but I am not affluent enough to oblige another child xxx

pavlovs_dog

Lysiane wrote:

As for the good stuff being only for your kid , I really think that is wrong!!!
.

victory never said she was feeding her child treats whilst the visiting child watched. the point is money is tight. because of this, treats are exactly that, and given as a rare occurance.

if she has to give a treat to a visiting child, that is one less treat that her own children get, meaning that the budget is further stretched.

im sure if she had the means, victory would happily feed every child in the street. but she doesnt. her first priotiy lies with feeding her own brood, and rightly so IMHO. she should not be expected to feed other people's children (and nor should she feel obligated to) at the cost of her own.


another option victory is to say no treats whilst you have guests (unless you have budgeted, in which case it will be a nice surprise). your kids then know not to ask, and you dont need to feel guilty about not really being able afford to offer it visitors. guests can then be told that you dont snack between meals, but they are welcome to pop home to mummy and come back later if they are hungry

victory

pavlovs_dog wrote:

victory never said she was feeding her child treats whilst the visiting child watched. the point is money is tight. because of this, treats are exactly that, and given as a rare occurance.

if she has to give a treat to a visiting child, that is one less treat that her own children get, meaning that the budget is further stretched.

im sure if she had the means, victory would happily feed every child in the street. but she doesnt. her first priotiy lies with feeding her own brood, and rightly so IMHO. she should not be expected to feed other people's children (and nor should she feel obligated to) at the cost of her own.


another option victory is to say no treats whilst you have guests (unless you have budgeted, in which case it will be a nice surprise). your kids then know not to ask, and you dont need to feel guilty about not really being able afford to offer it visitors. guests can then be told that you dont snack between meals, but they are welcome to pop home to mummy and come back later if they are hungry

thanks you so very much pavlos, I am in tears here for the OP post and thank Goodness for you and your post...
No, I never said as you point out that I would ever feed my child treats whilst the other one watched, how bad would that be?:D
That is so what I am trying to say, one thing I give out to another persons child is one less for my child it so very is and one more time that my H says 'hang on a min, I work for you all and how many more?:D
Pavlos just thank you for you, so very thank you xxxx:j

Lysiane

victory wrote:

Would I be able to ask politely if you do not wish to offend or criticise me in any way as you say would it be possible to 'tone' down your posts as they seem to be coming across that way...:D
Thank you in advance for that:cool:
What I am trying to say is that yes I felt bad for sending the child home hungry to be fed by her mother and not feed her here, she is a lovely kid and gets on fine with my boy who is 6, one year older than yours and who I absolutely know for a fact would not ask for food or drink in someone elses house because I would not tolerate that behaviour, yes he is 6, yes he is a kid, yes he is little , yes he gets hungry and thirsty when he plays in this house, other peoples houses and everywhere but if that happens he knows to come home and ask me his mum for his needs to be met, here in this house.
no child would say this is the good stuff here for me and me alone and you can't have none, it is not like that what the OP are trying to say is that when they are out of sight and in their own houses, my child can have the good stuff but if caught on the hop by a child asking for food or drink to money save as htis is what it is all about give the child the other as it is not my responsibility to take care of another persons child.
I see what you are saying but I am not affluent enough to oblige another child xxx

Again Victory I did not mean to offend you or anything and appologise if I had in any way.

I only wanted to say Ithought it was wrong , that is only my opinion ...

Of course it isn`t your responsability to feed other people children nor it is mine or anyone else.

For the moment I probably do not have the problem you get across , simply because if I have a little one coming at my home the mum/dad always bring her and pick up her as their are under 5 , and I will ask the mum what she is allowed to eat etc , same goes for dd , I take her to other people house when she is invited and people ask me what she can have etc ...

But it is not because a little one ask you for a drink/food , it does not mean she/he is rude or badly behave or that is mum/dad doesn`t feed her/him , that simply kid always asking for something , I hate it when my dd does it , but I know she will grow out of it like most kid , all my friends/relatives kid did the same when they were smaller , and neither any where hungry or deprived simply greedy:rolleyes:

and again I only have one so it is easier for me , simply because I do not have 4 lot of friends coming around like you might have , and I am happy for my dd to have a friend to play and see her share toys/drink/food because it is harder for her to so as she is a only child and this always an opportunitie to do encourage her to be generous .

victory

lysaine shall we just agree to disagree?:beer:
I have two children 13 and 6 plus many many more of their friends come over each and every day especially now in the winter months, a line has to be drawn xxx

Lysiane

victory wrote:

lysaine shall we just agree to disagree?:beer:
I have two children 13 and 6 plus many many more of their friends come over each and every day especially now in the winter months, a line has to be drawn xxx

:beer:

Great idea victory ,

just show that we should never jump to conclusion when reading post ...which I might have done here..........:o xxx

victory

yes xx:j