Kids coming over to play with mine and expecting food and drink!!

victory

fuzed wrote:

just a thought (not wanting to step on toes etc) but do your little ones go to the friends houses an have dinner or is it just them coming to yours?

#the actual specific child in question no, my son does not go to their house and have dinner no, he goes to play and knows that at 5pm he must come home(his brother goes and gets him) and have his dinner here, my son would never dream of asking in anyone's house at anytime for food or drink, whether he is a child or not I would not have brought him up like that xxx

Sweet_Pea_2

If my two dd's have friends round for tea I have invited them, therefore I budget for them coming and feed them the same as dd's, (Usually give them a choice) and am happy to provide drinks, puds and biscuits too. However, I do object when all the children that live in our cul de sac arrive uninvited into my garden over the summer months and wander into my kitchen and on a couple of occasions have helped themselves or (more usually) burst in on me whilst Im washing up or something and say "we're thirsty can we have a drink please" when they only live next door! And the elder one is 14, therefore old enough to know better! That to me is a bit cheeky, I would have not done this when I was a child. I am too polite to refuse so made them a drink of squash whilst seething quietly, so I am glad for this thread to see Im not the only one!
I think kids today seem generally more cheeky than (only a few) years ago when I was young!
Slightly off topic, the little girl next door but one who is six has arrived to play in the garden a couple of times, each time she comes she immediately asks for food and a drink - usually chocolate biscuits and chocolate milk. When her mum has come round to collect her or see where she is she has shouted at her for eating chocolate and I feel awful. The last time the child arrived I told her she could only have fruit or water to drink as I didnt want to get into trouble with her mum, so she decided she wasnt really hungry after all. When her mum arrived I mentioned that I had not given her chocolate although she had asked for it, and her mum was mortified, she had no idea that her daughter had asked me for food. Because her daughter is only allowed water and fruit as a snack at home, it seems whenever she goes anywhere without mum she stuffs herself on forbidden treats, and mum seemed to be unaware of what was going on. She obviously thought I was just force feeding her daughter I think! So the fruit and water approach is a good one, it may put off some kids and it cant get you into trouble with any parents.
(Sorry for the long ramble!)

victory

Lysiane wrote:

hello

I am a bit surprised ( not to say anything else ) .

I would be mortified to refuse food to a children or giving the cheap stuff ( especially a friend of my dd)

Kid are kid and often ask thing without even thinking , my dd do that , she isn`t bad behave at all , but if she goes to someone house to play she will ask for food/drink , even if I tell that she shouldn`t , and should wait to be offered something.

When she is having friend around , she MUST share , and I would never ever dream to give the cheap stuff to her friend , while having nicer/more expensive stuff in the fridge/cupboard , what that will teach her ???

Good stuff is good for you ???!!!and the cheap good enough for your friends , so lets hide it when they are around .....and you will be able to have it when you are on you own.

I could never do that , and I will be so upset if anyone did that to my dd .

I don`t mean to offend anyone here , but I am really :eek: to read this post !!!

Lysiane, can't believe your post:D you know your kid asks and think that is o.k to put another parent on the spot that cannot afford it (not that they nned to know that at all) would you not think that is forward?:A
Yes actually yes if you want to break it down to that level, yes the goood stuff is for my children as my H has gone out from 6am to 7pm 6 days a week to provide for his chidren and family so they have the good stuff and he did not go out and work his butt off so that he could feed the rest of the street:j

Aoife's_mum

Interesting to read this - mine are too young yet to have anyone round that I haven't invited so no problems there.

But my aunt, who has 4 little ones of her own, also childminds and has a fairly open house anyway - she always feeds any kids who are in the house, but it gets worse. When the parents come to pick up the kids, they walk in taking off their coats and say, "mmm, something smells nice" and before you know it they are sitting down eating dinner as well - it ended up that she was losing money hand over fist on her childminding as she was feeding so many people!!

Now that's just cheeky.

lottee

victory wrote:

my son would never dream of asking in anyone's house at anytime for food or drink, whether he is a child or not I would not have brought him up like that xxx

Just out of interest, how old is your son? Although I don't think we have bought our son up to expect or ask for things around other peoples houses, if he is thirsty, he will ask politely for a drink. (he is only 4!) So I am wondering if this is something they are supposed to perhaps 'grow out of' ? Although IMO, as long as he used his manners, I would never be embarassed about it. (i know this is not answering the original question, sorry!)

Sorry, this reads a little like my son is 'one of those kids' that we are talking about! What I meant was, if we were somewhere together & he asked for a drink or something I wouldn't sit there & cringe. I would however hate to think he was asking at every opportunity for snacks etc when I wasn't there. Glad I've cleared that up!!!

victory

6,not a perfect kid by any means but I would say well mannered,yes no probs with any kid asking for a drink but not a child expecting to be fed ad watered as the norm in someone elses house...

Rachie_B

Lysiane wrote:

I do understand that not everone can afford it , but if you give a pack of crisp or biscuit to your child , would you give something to your children and let friend watching her/him eat ???

When I read this from the op

I get this all the time, kids that come over to play and have their dinner then fine but others.... my one gets a biscuit, they want one, a packet of crisps, make that 2 and on and on!!

I am just thinking , yes of course it add up when you have to give each time extra , especially with 4 kid , but I still cannot and wouldn`t dream of giving something to my dd and let the other one watch!!!

TBH its not a problem for me ,my 2 sons tend to play out the front after school ,not in ours / the neighbours houses

each child appears to have a snack after school ,then out to play on their bikes etc in the cul de sac
then they all go back to their own houses for tea / dinner

its different if we invite their friends for tea or vica versa

but i think i too would get pi55ed off if children were "asking" for food :eek: at my house !

a one off ok ,but all the time and more than one child at a time !

victory

absolutely rachie, tea for tea no prob, done very often, no prob with that, more that a child comes to the house and asks, expects and I am supposed to hand out....

pavlovs_dog

another option is eggs - quite cheap and make a filling meal (scrambled egg/ omlette).

or a bag of value plain flour is easily whipped up into batter for pancakes, which can be served sweet or savoury.


its good to have ideas for when you are caught off guard, but dont be a martyr. its not your job to feed everyone else's kids. as a one off is fine, but if you cannot afford it then your priority must be feeding your own kiddiewinkles.

toughen up and send 'em home.. or serve 'boring' food; they'll stop asking when they realise there'll be no crisps or biscuits in that house :rotfl:

Lysiane

victory wrote:

Lysiane, can't believe your post:D you know your kid asks and think that is o.k to put another parent on the spot that cannot afford it (not that they nned to know that at all) would you not think that is forward?:A
Yes actually yes if you want to break it down to that level, yes the goood stuff is for my children as my H has gone out from 6am to 7pm 6 days a week to provide for his chidren and family so they have the good stuff and he did not go out and work his butt off so that he could feed the rest of the street:j

Yes she does and YES I tell that she shouldn`t !!!
BEAR IN MIND THAT SHE IS ONLY 5 !!!!

I don`t put anyone in the spot because my dd only goes to people who knows kid do ask for things , all kid do the same , that what we are calling THEM KID !!!

Also I don`t like her doing it because I think it is rude of course , but she doesn`t really understand why it is rude to ask please can I have a drink/biscuit , when I am there and she ask I always tell that she shouldn`t ask .

And every kid who came to my house always did ask for some food/drink and I don`t start to imagine that their parents are sending their kid hungry or anything I know that what kid do.

As for the good stuff being only for your kid , I really think that is wrong!!!

I would be ashamed to hear my dd say no , this is the good stuff , you can only get the cheap thing !!!what kind of message that give to children except being greedy and keep the good for themselves , first time I heard such a comment , that is out of this world in my opinion.

In my home we always give the best to our guest , who ever they are , adult or kid !!!and I really strongly believe that this the right thing to do.

My husband and I are working hard also 6 days a week , that doesn`t mean we have to behave like that.

Again victory I really do not mean to offend you neither to criticise you in any way , and understand that you have a tight budget with kid , but to me that is wrong .